What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[ms spock]

I had a good day. I got lots done. Yet I felt lonely late this afternoon. I had a weepy moment.

 

[shoulderblades]

Washed out. Self-harmed last night, first time in a long time. Crashed and burned badly last night - again, first time in a long time. Today, I am just numb.

 

[ms spock]

Are you seeing a psychologist or psychriatrist shoulderblades?

 

[shoulderblades]

Are you seeing a psychologist or psychriatrist shoulderblades?

Currently, no. I'm "unofficially" seeing a psych nurse once a week just to have someone to talk to other than lumping everything on my girlfriend. In the process of finding a psych, just don't know who to trust.

 

[zaniara]

lost (without words)

 

[ms spock]

In the process of finding a psych, just don't know who to trust.

Okay trust is hard.

I hope you find someone soonish shoulderblades.

 

[StarChild]

@safenow Thank you very much for this very helpful tool. I've already printed it!

(((SweetLullaby))) I hope you can overcome those feelings. Take care of yourselves.

@rainy-daze Please don't worry; I added an essential fact to my posting for I perceived that my words could be mistakable. I'm sorry for my thoughtlessness. :oops:

Time to try and relax and get things done, at the same time. Argh.

I wish you a very restorative and peaceful rest.

 

[ms spock]

I feel full. I feel a bit lost.

 

[CraftyCath]

but there is no control over what I dream.

Me too Deb. I am sick of going to sleep only to find myself reliving or going back to the time of my greatest trauma. Even when I'm just dreaming something really stupid that doesn't make sense it still wakes me up. Oh for a full nights sleep.

I feel pleased I am moving again with direction and purpose.

Way to go Ms Spock. you are doing really well.:tup:

Crashed and burned badly last night

I'm sorry this has happened shoulderblades and I hope you can find some help with this soon. Put the bad day behind you and move on to a new one. Wishing you strength.

I have decided to reduce the Gabapentin I am taking from 3 a day to 1 at night. They were still making me dopey, sleepy, nauseous and they made my vision blurred. It is bad enough with the PTSD, I don't need anything else to make me feel bad. I only get the cramps and restless legs in bed at night so I don't need them during the day. I'll just have to see how that pans out.

Yesterday my brother and sister turned up and took me and my H to Tatton Park, a local country house, for breakfast. It was such a lovely sunny day and although the wind was cold the sun was warm. Later we went to a garden centre.

I was very vigilant all day as things have often gone wrong when my siblings and I have been together. In the past I have felt dominated and controlled by them but it was a good day. It was difficult to listen to them talk about posh cars, work on their houses and possessions (they are both well off). I looked at my H often and it was a comfort to have him there, he knows how difficult I find it. I felt sad that life is so much about how much people have. There were times I felt that anything I said was ignored but I don't think it was deliberate so improvements have been made by us all.

As for my H's family. I'm still ignoring them! They are annoyed with me and my H for not making time to see my sister-in-law from Italy. I know she has told her friend that she has 'difficulties'with me and yet she wants to see us and pretend nothing has happened. This is so she can 'do her duty' so it solves nothing. I have left it to my H and his sister - they are not my family so why should I make all the arrangements. I asked him to sort it out on our terms.

This is the same sister-in-law that, after having an MRI got into a tightly packed car and had a panic attack. Her sister spent the next week or two taking care of her and pampering her and my sis-in-law told me she had...wait for it...'Post Traumatic MRI Scanner Stress!!!!!!' She was serious too! They can't cope with the fact that I have PTSD so she made out she had something similar. So very sad and I'm still not willing to play their games.

 

[Froggie]

Feeling sad and having to face the cancer reality. I buried a friend a couple of weeks ago, his cancer was pretty agressive and didn't give him much time. He had found out a bit before Christmas. Friday went to see a friend who has 2-3 weeks left, next time I will see him will be at his funeral. I have another friend in Saskatchewan who got interned January 29th, diagnosed with cancer around the 7th or 8th of Feb. He will be going into palliatif care as it is a wildfire cancer. Yeah feeling sad, they were / are good people and overwhelmed as I have to deal with cancer itself. Like I can't even think about Christmas this year until I'm at least 3 months before, it's the only way I'll know if I can be there or not.

The oncologist told me that I can stop the morphine ... YEAHHHH ... now I'm not sleeping away my days but my white blood cells are goofing up and I have to take injections so that I can continue my treatments. The hic with those injections is that it gives diarrhea. And when I have that, it inflammes my nerve endings in my intestines and it gives me super bad back pain. So I'm feeling a bit discouraged... I get one thing cleared up and have to deal with other side effects not so much fun.

I'm also starting to write a book on Angels. There are informations that we can only have in English so I'm going to translate it and offer these informations for the francophone population. At least it will give me something positive to think about.

 

[ms spock]

I am feeling sad tonight. I feel like I have led a very lonely life. The feelings of loneliness are sad.

 

[Philippa]

I feel glad to be home, after a long day at work. Happy that the day was lucrative money wise, and that I was able to calm down about the situation that went down yesterday. Everything seems back to normal. I am glad the woman who was causing me trouble has now left and gone somewhere else...and curious to know what happened still, but also a bit indifferent as well.

I had fun today and feel great, though I am unsure if the energy transference that I had with clients was healthy today? I was thinking a lot of my mother and trying not to let myself get sad about how I feel as though I don't exist whenever I think of her. She has this way of making me feel like I don't exist to her. It's hurtful. It hurts me a lot. I don't really know what else to do about it, except stay away from her.

I feel a bit bad for not calling my brother for his birthday, but I am resolved to call him tomorrow instead...from a phonebooth. Unsure if getting in contact with my other brother was such a good idea. I did it on a whim yesterday, when I was drunk.

I feel grateful to have had a good day today. I feel relaxed and warm and clean.