Peoples Misunderstanding Of Ptsd

[JustBe]

Using the word Schizophrenic to describe anyone or anything with opposing views or personalities really burns my butt!:mad:

 

[InHell11]

With some people I simply do my best to avoid talking about my PTSD or other issues with them. Even if they are truly ignorant about it and don't mean anything by what they say, I still find it to be pretty triggering and I myself will likely get very angry and distressed if I continue discussing it with them. For instance, I get along well with my brother, but some of the ideas he has are kind of ignorant like the other day we were discussing something and he essentially said because one person was able to overcome paralysis and re-learn to walk anyone could. Well thing is just because one person can do something or overcome a certain obstacle doesn't mean everyone else can.

It kind of bothered me because I know people have assumed I can do something just because someone else can, but at the same time I realized there was no point in making an issue over it. Then we would have argued and he might have applied that philosophy to me and my situation.

I am 23 and he is 18, obviously though that is not the most gigantic age difference he has yet to learn quite a lot. So I guess my point is sometimes you have to consider who you are talking to and what knowledge they have or don't have on the topic. If you realize they simply don't have the knowledge to comprehend what you're talking about then maybe it will help you with not taking it as hard since then you know its not something being done to you by that person so it's easier to kind of move on from it.

I struggle with this to and am still working on trying to better identify when something is said maliciously, out of un-intentional ignorance or even willfull ignorance for instance. So I don't react to the un-intentional ignorance as if its malicious as I can see how that may but the other person on the defense as well. But yeah no one really understands PTSD or the impact it has on an individual unless they themselves have it and thus have experienced it.

 

[Loner]

I think its also important to remind ourselves that just because someone else doesn't have PTSD (that you know of) doesn't mean you can expect perfection from them. Everyone is struggling to figure out how to live their lives and treat others. Its hard. There are no instructions and very few people really get taught much from their parents.

 

[PerfectlyFlawed]

I believe the media does not help people with PTSD. You always hear the worst of the worst: an example would be a veteran killing a girlfriend. Or something extreme. So that is what people think of when they think of PTSD. Or a boy who is sexually abused growing up to be a perpetrator himself. I think sometimes this is used so people hush about their abuse.

Again, the perpetrator of our emotional injuries is not focused on. I always say, "I was abused and it lead to PTSD" Then they say, "That is horrible"

Always put the blame on the Perpetrator or accident etc. We did not choose to have this anxiety disorder. We have survived the unthinkable.

 

[Loner]

I'm posting a lot in this thread, not trying to dominate the conversation, but I have to say, the media doesnt help with anything any more. They used to hold government accountable by keeping people informed but now they just seem to tell stupid people what to think and believe.

 

[p-no]

I think, at the end of the day it comes down to whether you want to put up with people like that or not. Thing is, they won't change, if they themselves don't want to.

I came across a quote today, and thought of your thread:

"My 2012 new year's resolution - stop trying to convince people who do not understand."

One of my favorite singers, Matt Nathanson.

Well, I know that I don't want to be around people who hurt me and are ignorant towards me. This doesn't mean I cut them off immediately, but usually I will talk to them about it and see where it leads. At the end of the day though I just can't connect the term "friend" with someone keeping up this attitude.

JMHO.

 

[shoulderblades]

Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do?

I was raised in a family where this was the standard attitude. All of my family members very strongly believed that suicide was selfish and that only selfish people commit suicide. I had awful thoughts of suicide because of how depressed I was and how much trauma I'd gone through, and because of how abusive my family was; I believed that meant that I was a horrible selfish person, which only furthered my urges to commit suicide, which only furthered my belief that I was horrible and selfish, which only furthered... so on and so on.

I've also experienced a lot of other people in my life having no understanding of mental illness or of suicide. Many have told me things like, "You just need to get over it," and, "If you stop moping and feeling sorry for yourself so much, you wouldn't be depressed," and, "You aren't depressed, you're just lazy." And many other things.

It's part of why I've had such a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I have C-PTSD. I keep earnestly believing that it's because I'm lazy and selfish that I can't get on with my life, when the reality is that I am the way I am because of years of abuse. And even in recognising that I've suffered tremendous amounts of abuse, my automatic attitude to that is that I'm making a big deal out of nothing, because that's how I've been programmed to think about my own mental health: that I do not deserve to have any agency over what has happened to me because I am a useless human being.

It's really insidious and dangerous how other people's ignorant and cruel attitudes about mental health can be. The damage other people's words can cause is huge. The 'sticks and stones' adage is a complete and utter lie.

 

[WillyKat]

While in therapy many years ago, I decided I would begin telling my closest friends and my brothers about being molested at age 5 and threatened almost daily for the next three years or so.

At the time, I never mentioned PTSD, mostly because at the time I really didn't think about the diagnosis. My therapist then and my therapist now didn't / don't bring up the term. Why? Because most diagnoses are literally numeric codes that insurance companies enter into their software as part of processing a claim.

Look around the forum, look at us. We're all individuals with a wide range of symptoms. Calling that large collection of stuff "PTSD" is just a convenience. It saves a lot of keystrokes and computers know what to do with "309.81" a lot better than "I freeze up and have flashbacks whenever..." (By the way, I work in high tech., and have at times had to tell software and computers what do to and how to do it. Trust me, they don't process sentences or feelings.)

So...I generally agree with the idea that it may be better when you tell others about what happened to you than to tell them you have x diagnosis. People can understand rape or being beaten, but PTSD is a very broad concept that most lay people may want to run away from.

Second point: choose who you tell wisely. Think about how they have reacted to news stories about priests abusing boys, or rape cases, or abusive parents, and the like. If they have ever expressed disinterest or said something stupid about it, that's a good indicator that they may not be someone you can confide in. Think about each individual you are going to tell, try to predict how they will respond, then let them know in advance that you have something important and private to tell them. If they respond with concern and caring, then you know.

I have to relate a story about telling one of my friends. I knew in advance that he would have something incredibly crude to say, which is just how he and I related to each other; we often spoke in opposite to our feelings. When I told him about being raped, his response was: "well, I guess I can't make any more jokes about anal intercourse." And that response was exactly what I expected from him, and I got a good laugh out of it.

 

[Loner]

Love your post willy kat. Its a great feeling when you can start to laugh at the hell you have been through.

 

[Eleanor]

But perhaps I ask too much of people.

For what it's worth - I think asking to be left alone one Thursday in November is a pretty darn easy request to fulfill. Particularly on a day when like EVERYONE ELSE has something else to do... Honestly.:rolleyes: If this is an example of how you might "ask to much" I think you are a long way into the territory of "not asking too much!" Not even in sight of the border.:tup:

 

[InHell11]

I believe the media does not help people with PTSD. You always hear the worst of the worst: an example would be a veteran killing a girlfriend. Or something extreme. So that is what people think of when they think of PTSD.

What I don't get is why these 'horror' stories don't motivate society to want to help people with issues like PTSD more so it doesn't have to get to that point. I mean usually in these worst case senerios there are more often than not environmental/social factors. Instead the media feeds stigma, which is probably a factor in things ending up going that far due to the alienation stigma can help contribute to.

I hate to say it but I am surprised more people aren't completely losing it and doing extreme things in this society.

 

[Loner]

What I don't get is why these 'horror' stories don't motivate society to want to help people with issues like PTSD more so it doesn't have to get to that point.

Because the truth is most people are bitter unhappy creatures who would rather judge than empathize. They have more in common with the mindset of a killer than they care to admit so they use news of horrible events to pat themselves on the back and reassure themselves they are good people by judging and hating the perpetrators of horrible acts. OMG that's so horrible, at least I'm not as bad as those people. They still go through their lives thinking about how others deserve to be punished for not being perfect, just the same as the killers do. In order to empathize with the killers they would have to take a good hard look at themselves, and come to terms with their own flaws and shortcomings. Most people would rather just lie to themselves and define themselves by a certain percentage of their actions that they perceive as good, or even by their thoughts and good intentions instead of their actions which have been hurtful to others which is ok because those people 'deserved' it.

I say this because I have thought and felt that way before. I am very proud to say I am finally starting to feel love for my fellow humans, even the 'bad' ones.