Thank you all for your responses. I am new to this forum, as I have no one else to talk to about what's happening.
I have known this man since childhood and he comes from an abusive family. He has this 'thing' where he will not, no matter what, PHYSICALLY hurt me and he seems proud of that. I have told him that what he is doing IS abusive, which he is having trouble understanding. Before he threatened my dog he picked up my computer (which is my work) and said he was going to destroy it. I do NOT physically or mentally abuse, but in that moment I felt like he was holding a gun to my babies' head and I physically tried to get it back. He again didn't touch me back, he let me try to physically remove it, and when I got it back in my possession is when he threatened the dog by picking something up, saying he was going to hurt him, then threw something in his general direction (at at the dog)....I punched him in the head right after, as I felt I was protecting my dog. Then I felt shame for physically handling him with both the computer and the punch and he even threatened to call the police to report me for abuse since he had marks. I know I only did what I had to do to protect my stuff but now he's calling me an abuser because it's what he knows as abuse (given his family). When I said I only did what I did because of HIS abuse his response was, "I wouldn't have done it!" But I've seen him rage with his PTSD when the 'enemy' is in the line of danger (he is former military and this is the root of the PTSD).
So, he changed over the last year after the PTSD. He has always had it in him to be angry and act emotionally but this line of abuse is new and seems to only happen when the PTSD flares. Running away isn't an option at this point so I am looking for advice (which all of this is GREAT) to help me understand this disease more and why it's only been since the PTSD started that he's becoming this ugly person? I feel like his underlying issues are coming forward and he's almost using PTSD as an excuse to be as mean as possible/let everything come to the surface?
We are starting counseling today at the VA and he has also agreed to seek professional help outside of the VA too. This would be his first time getting help.
I do want to say again, thank you to all who are responding. I don't understand the full scope yet of PTSD so I was writing off these new behaviors with the new diagnosis BUT now I'm seeing that it's probably a form of abuse that is in him, perhaps this is enhancing it and giving him an 'excuse' to be as nasty as he wants to be?
