If I Could Start Today Again

[nomedic1]

All the kings and queens in the bible
They could not turn back time
So what chance have I of a miracle
In this life of mine?
I only want one day
To unsay the things I said
Undo the thing I did
Twenty-four little hours
Oh God, please wipe them all away
And I promise I will change
If I could start today again
I know I'm not the milk and honey kind
Today I proved it true
When the red mist falls around my eyes
I know not what I do
Please give me back today
And I won't say the things I said
Or do that thing I did
Every minute, every hour
The replay's just the same
And I can't stand the shame
Oh let me start today again
I only want one day
One lousy day, that's all
Of every day that's been before
Since time began
I know my prayer's in vain
But for a second I'll pretend
That I can start today again


What would you do if you could get one day back, being honest I would need a lot of these, especially lately.

 

[naturebaby_85]

Ahhh how often I've ruminated over and over about "if only I could turn back time and done this or that differently"

It's a thought that drove me crazy because its something I wanted so much - to turn back clock - but knew was never achievable.

So I try now not to think about the shoulders, would'ves and could'ves.. And instead try to think about what learnings are there in the decisions I made that caused these outcomes.. It's hard, I still have my "if only I did this or that" moments, but I find focussing on what I can learn and how I can grow from those decisions I made.

I hope you can too..

 

[nomedic1]

Thanks nature baby I hope I too can do that, but I still have things I would love to not have said. Because sometimes an apology doesn't show people how heartfelt it is, but yes my focus should be on the future accepting my past has made me who I am.

 

[nomedic1]

I guess putting your heart on the line, is sometimes dangerous but it has to be done and trying to repair those bridges will not take a day it's about small steps, taking big chances and hoping for the best

 

[The Albatross]

Roger that (what you said above)... but also helpful to me is keeping fresh in my mind that in addition to risk taking and cautious optimism, I am creating new experience to over-write the old stuff. I get burdened down quickly unless I reset my clock every 24 hours (at first) and sometimes now can reliably stretch it to a week at a time. I try not to think of failures, but am pretty rigid with my self for setting a direction, goal or challenge for myself and honestly assessing it afterward. It is a more constructive mindset for me.

I do though take a three fold approach - education, peer support, and action/acceptance to increase the odds of incremental improvement if not success.

 

[celia]

The Serenity Prayer- God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference... Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us....

Forgive yourself .. You're post is a testament of your true good soul. Know you are good.

 

[who am i kim]

I am sorry you are in hurt Medic all I can offer is my (((hugs))). :hug:

 

[Britt.f7]

I'm not sure what I would do. I guess that's because I'm just glad I made it through a day. However, thinking of that, I guess I would redo some of my working days where I cried or lost it because I was simply worn out. I'm embarrassed by those days. I wish I could make those one's disappear.

 

[discarded]

Yes there is plenty I would do differently and I too would have to turn back a lot more than one day. I have finally accepted though that at the time I did the best I could with the knowledge and coping skills I had. I have learned a lot since those days I now regret and wish with all my heart I could have that second chance.

 

[rainy_daze]

If I could start today again, I wouldn't have slept on and off for the majority of the day. I would have worked on my to do list, but the day is over now.

If I could get one day back, I'm not really sure what I'd do. Maybe it would depend on which day I was getting back?

Nomedic, it's a good tread, and you've reminded me of Ted Hughes (I think it was him) who said "Before us stands yesterday".

I used to love that quote, but now I'm thinking, before me is the future, which I'm uncertain about just now, but my past is behind me. Yeah, it tries to get in the way, but I don't want to let it stand there in front of me. That makes sense to me, hopefully I'm articulating it right.

There's things I've said and done, which I feel a great deal of shame/guilt/embarrassment about, and things done to me which cause indescribable feelings, add in a huge dash of regret and it's a horrible recipe. I can't change any of it, or take anything back over the years, so maybe the answer to your original post, for me, is that if I could do anything today it would be to do what I want to do, while not letting the mistakes or awfulness of yesterday get in the way of my current life. If I can think like that each morning, things might improve for me. Until then, I'll try and try, because it is about

trying to repair those bridges will not take a day it's about small steps, taking big chances and hoping for the best

I wish all the people here the best in their journey, whatever the size of steps, and hope that people have better days. On that note, I'm going to sleep some more.