I Contacted Her Counselor

[Zihoci]

When he isolated himself and ignored me I contacted his counselor. I was not aware that ending relationships without talking would happen to me.

Counselor replied with "Thank you for your email. I appreciate your concern for him"

Have I overstepped?

 

[Kakosog]

Yes you have, especially as the counsellor can't share anything with you about him.

 

[Arif]

Zihoci Here,

I contacted the counselor knowing she could not share anything. It was a request to make sure he was ok.

 

[Uwu]

The counselor wouldn't be able to tell you if he was ok or not. They are not allowed to.
But contacting her to make her aware of a concern you might have for his safety is just that. I don't think you can overstep the mark in terms of the counselor, because she is in a position where she will do what is best for her client (I would hope).

However, a therapy relationship is very private between therapist and client. So it could be over-stepping the mark in the eyes of your partner.

 

[Erico]

Zihoci here:

I don't think you can overstep the mark in terms of the counselor, because she is in a position where she will do what is best for her client (I would hope).

That is what I was hoping to hear. I have never met the woman, but in my silence induced fears needed to do/say something to try and help.

 

[Jiposi]

I agree with Uwu.

 

[Erac]

It was a request to make sure he was ok

Don't you think a counselor would be making sure he was OK?

It sounds like you wanted to give the counsellor more information than you thought he would give her. I'm not even going to try to get into your motives. Whatever they were, I see that as overstepping. If it isn't physical harm to self or physical harm to others, then confidentiality stays in place. You could extend that confidentiality from therapist-client to client-significant other. I don't see your justification.

When he isolated himself and ignored me I contacted his counselor. I was not aware that ending relationships without talking would happen to me.

my silence induced fears needed to do/say something to try and help.

Are you seeing a counselor yourself? I think that's the only counselor you should be talking to about him.

 

[Nabop]

Zihoci here,

Don't you think a counselor would be making sure he was OK?

If it isn't physical harm to self

Are you seeing a counselor yourself? I think that's the only counselor you should be talking to about him.

Was not actively seeing counselor at time of break up, only calling occasionally and had put off calling her a few times when triggered.

Has a history of self harm.

I am not seeing one, but after this relationship, I probably need to.

Does that change anything or am i still a scumbag for caring.

 

[Jadu]

Zihoci here again.

My motives in a way were very selfish but not in the sense of wanting the relationship back. I know I cannot handle a situation like this every few months. There was no arguments between us and it was just distance and over. That left me very worried.

I reached out to her purely as an act of caring, and if that was wrong, then so be it. I can completely understand how that would break our trust, but that trust was already broken.

I have to move on.