Lost Trust In The Forums

[Heno]

But there are amny threads that judge by stereotyping. And there's nothing I can do, but sit and be judged or keep quiet.

New poster to the thread . . . Even here, where most of us are seriously trying to be supportive and non-judgmental, it happens. Sometimes deliberately, sometimes unintentionally, and sometimes a judgment can be interpreted by the reader where one was not spoken/written. For those of us who have a degree of low self-esteem, this forum could be a place to exercise some assertiveness in the form of stating our feelings, i.e. saying something to mention that one feels they've been judged and, thus bring it out into the open. I know the two times I did this one time it worked out that I had misinterpreted. The other time the person took notice of them being judgmental and thanked me for pointing it out. Nobody's perfect.

 

[Etazat]

Heno, That is a great suggestion :).

 

[Uru]

I have nothing intelligent to add at this point, I only wanted to say that I'm sorry this is all so hard.

I don't think there's any place or person without judgment. I think this forum does its best to keep judgment out of things and there are lots of very supportive comments. Sometimes that isn't possible, and obviously you can see that if it happens.

I don't have any answers but I feel for you. I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I can see what you mean.

 

[Rosumu]

this forum could be a place to exercise some assertiveness in the form of stating our feelings

This is something that I've done when the judgement is very obvious (less so when I think it's just me). In that experience it has just becomes confrontational. I realize that being assertive to people on an online mental health forum perhaps isn't a true indication of how people without mental health issues might react - but the reactions I've got here from trying to be assertive have not made me feel that being assertive is the right way to go. I come away feeling awful, and wrong for saying anything.

I'm thinking that maybe not speaking is what I need to do right now. I feel crap for failing. If you can't fit in on a mental health forum, where the heck can you fit.

Thank you here for the support and advice though.

 

[Etazat]

Rosumu, JMHO, I do not see it as failing on your part. You are making the effort to find a solution. I have a great deal of respect for your try.

I am also sorry for the difficulty you are experiencing. Trust is one of the most emotional experiences we can have and find. Respect from others is another.

I can not lie as I have been shocked at certain members responses in threads. Not often thankfully. As we are on a mental health forum we have no means of knowing the severity of anyone's individual situation.

Low self esteem recovery is not easy, however when understood is a new beginning. Those not raised with the tools to acquire self esteem have very little knowledge too go on.

We are a product of our environment/surroundings until we see/feel it is not right. Low self esteem is caused by others. We do not ask for it. Please don't give up on your quest. To thine own self be true. There are some excellent articles on the forum from what was the Wiki section. I wish you continued strength on your journey!

 

[Rosumu]

Low self esteem recovery is not easy, however when understood is a new beginning. Those not raised with the tools to acquire self esteem have very little knowledge too go on.

I'm always hearing people talk about self esteem, including my therapist. And it's one of those things that sort of passes me by because it doesn't mean anything to me. What you've said here has me realising that it is something that I don't understand. And how do you fix something you don't understand.

Is it something I could understand by reading about it?

 

[Etazat]

:) Yes, I feel it may take some time to comprehend for those who have no background of self esteem. It can be a very sensitive study as well.

It can be hard to read without being defensive. Many of our peers were not educated either. We tend to react to the knowledge rather than finding a solution for our steps forward. I will find one of the articles and post a link for you.

Something else came to mind about a previous comment you made about isolating ones self. Which is so misunderstood. I am sorry to read others reactions you posted. I feel someone has posted some very bad information. :) I will saw what I can find regarding this as well.

I will return.

 

[Etazat]

Self Esteem from Wiki

http://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-esteem

 

[Etazat]

I am not finding the one I remember but this is on Self Esteem.

 

[Rosumu]

Thank you.

 

[Etazat]

You are very welcome! The other article is here somewhere and I will continue looking.

It is about how isolation is not productive for anyone with many different disorders. How we really need to be able to relate in a safe surrounding, that we are not alone. With communication and understanding we are able to move forward. I have 7 journals, it was not until I landed on the forum that I realized; I was basically talking to myself.

By sharing with others we are able to learn helpful tools that have worked for them. Of course we are on the Internet but most of the members are here for healing.

:).

 

[Opi]

I have 7 journals, it was not until I landed on the forum that I realized; I was basically talking to myself.

I think journaling is about listening to yourself.

I agree the forum and not isolating is good too.