I Don't Think I Should Be Here Anymore - Even My Therapist Is Quitting On Me.

[Emotional Retard]

I'm not handling life very well right now. I think my therapist is going to quit on me, and if he does, I don't have any options left. I can't keep living like this. I'm so tired, and I want to die. I can't face another day.

 

[Ghostybear73]

Hey ER,

I can understand that, I feel that way more often than not anymore. However, it is important to have a therapist to work through it with you. I've never had a therapist quit on me and I have told him things that I was sure he was going to deem unacceptable and quit on me.

Have you talked to your therapist about it? If he does quit on you, it's his loss, not yours!!! Don't give up, find another therapist and keep moving on. Sometimes it takes everything in me to not end it, because death seems like the best solution. Everytime, I fight it and yes, it is exhausting.

You will find on this forum a lot of people that feel the way you do and are ready to listen whenever you need.

 

[Bees Are Awesome]

I am so sorry that you are struggling so much at the moment. Those feelings of hopelessness and despair are a dark and lonely place to be. Kudos to you for being willing to open up about how you are feeling.

Why do you think he is going to quit on you? I suggest being as open with him as you are here and ask him if that is the case. At least you wouldn't be waiting and continuing to worry for a longer period of time.

During times like these I try to remind myself that feelings eventually pass. Hang in there.

 

[Everhopeful]

Dear Anna. There is no judgment, you are handling your life as best you can right now. Nobody has the right to judge anyone.

If those around you are passing judgment, can you try to let it just wash away like the tide ebbing out. You are a precious human being who has been through terrible things and you are trying to survive.

A therapist is ethically bound to refer you, the client, to another therapist if for some reason they feel they can no longer help you. It does happen that a therapist needs to do this - it is very hard as the client NOT to take it totally personally. Ghostybear73 is right, go with another therapist if you can and keep moving on, keep moving forward.

You can find a life for yourself that is worth living. It is so painful to keep on working at it, but the pain will lessen in time. You will wake up one day and suddenly reflect that you do actually feel a bit lighter.

 

[macca]

I think my therapist is going to quit on me

Hi ER, I'm sorry you're in such a dark place right now. I wonder what it is that is bringing you to think this? Has he said anything or done anything? Are you sure about it? Could past experiences have led you to this conclusion? I guess where I'm coming from is that I've had similar experiences, and I have made assumptions based on how I'd been treated in the past, that didn't really have a bearing on the present. I think I've been doing it now in fact, with my T. I have expected to be disbelieved and minimised, and maybe have interpreted things that way when she probably didn't mean them like that at all. I know I've done this sort of thing with my husband, until he got through to me to ask him. I'm not saying you're doing this - if you are it's certainly not your fault - I'm saying it just in case, as it would be a shame to lose your T right when you need him. I hope you are ok. Chronic depression seems to come in waves, and you are at the bottom of one - if you hang on long enough, you'll come up again.

 

[RussH]

@Emotional Retard please don't leve us, we need you here. You are part of our community, and part of our circle of friends. We will not abandon you. We will gather around and support you. We need you as part of our family so stick around.

As for your t; it just means they are the wrong t for you, so go out and find the right one

 

[arfie]

You mean I am not the only Emotional Retard on the planet? How did that happen?

In my long and winding road of recovery, I somehow developed the habit of breaking down that feeling of wanting to give up to smaller details of my dysfunctions. When I do this, I invariably find things I am holding on to which are blocking my recovery. I can then shift my focus from the global despair of giving up on Life to a purposeful chipping away at those smaller blockages. I then find I am not giving up on Life. Just fine tuning my perspectives and habits.

So or no for you, I hope you stick around. Us emotional retards gotta stick together.

 

[Definitely..maybe]

I keep feeling like my therapist is on the brink of quitting on me and that's the worst. But then I remember, that's their downfall, they are not equipped to handle such issues. And that just means you need a better/different doctor.

There will be at least one doctor out there that wants to see you succeed and claim a part in that victory.

You are worth it!

 

[scout86]

arfie, just so you know, your second paragraph made my day. Would it be ok if I printed that out and stuck it on my refrigerator?

There seems to be an epidemic! I've been worried that my T might give up on me too. (At least I don't have to worry what to talk about tomorrow!) I don't think the problem is "him". When I think about it, "giving up" doesn't seem like something he'd do. I THINK thinking that way is probably a "symptom".

There are lots of reasons to worry about it, right? Other people have given up on you, maybe? If he gives up, maybe it means you're hopeless? Maybe it means YOU have to give up? Maybe it means everyone will always give up on you? Maybe it means nothing will be ok, ever again???? Thing is, none of that it true!

Nothing is "hopeless" as long as you're alive. If a therapist "gives up" all it means is that they don't feel that THEY have the skills or the time, or what ever, to do justice to you. The rest of that kind of thinking is our brains, reacting to something they perceive as a threat, with fear, which the brain then expects us to act on. "Fight, flight, or freeze", right? Actually, we also have the option of recognizing things for what they more accurately are and dealing with THAT, even if it's hard.

Hang in there ER, and please don't leave!

 

[arfie]

@scout86 >>>blushing furiously<<<

All my material is protected by the Scott's Copyright:
This material has the right to reproduce and grow where-so-ever it shall find fertile minds.

 

[scout86]

Then it's going up on the fridge, IN COLOR! :)

 

[Emotional Retard]

Thank you all for all of your constructive comments. I am doing better now. It just took me a while.

@Emotional Retard As for your t; it just means they are the wrong t for you, so go out and find the right one.

A few of you suggested this, but it's just not an option. I'm already on my second therapist, and rehashing all my crap with a second person was just awful. I can't do it again. This therapist has to work. If it doesn't... I don't see how I can go on living.

Why do you think he is going to quit on you?

I think he's going to quit on me because I'm not getting better and he suggested I work with someone else because of that. It's awful because I think he's right. We probably aren't a good fit:

• He doesn't listen to me when I say his constant eye contact bothers me. He keeps on staring at me all the time.
• I told him that I hate crying (especially in front of him, but I can't help it. Even though he knows this he constantly talks to me about how much I'm crying when I'm talking about different subjects to distinguish which ones pain me more. That makes me so self-conscious.
• He rarely answers my questions, and he doesn't guide me in anyway.
• Any time ask him a qestion his answer is always, "What do you think?/ Every time does that to me I tell him how much that frustrates me. Yet he does it anyway.
• I told him that I didn't want to work with anyone else, and he just said, "I would be okay with continuing to work with you." But he didn't seem like he meant it. I don't want to keep coming in every week and pouring out my heart to someone who doesn't want to hear it.

I'm just really upset right now.