If The Story Of My Life Helps Others, Then Let The Story Be Told

[HelenB]

I find your post very interesting. When I was at Ellel last week having ministry I realised that the little girl inside me I had thrown into a 'dungeon' and inside this dungeon was along with the hurt and pain of this little child, which I just did not know how to deal with, was all the bad things and things which were happening too, and that as long as I kept her trapped away, she was still in that place with the pain too, and though on the front I also put on so much that face of how I wanted things to be, that little girl was always still there screaming, and always will be trapped until I really can realise I can be safe enough to allow myself to feel that pain, and really bring it to the one place it belongs, right there on the cross with Jesus, where He really has taken it all.

As I read your post I was reminded of this so much and really am praying or you, that that little boy, who deserves so much more, really can come to a place of real freedom, where He knows that Jesus is protecting Him and standing up for Him, and that He really can be safe with the God of angel armies right there by his side and in fact going before and behind him too, defeating all the dark monsters and everything else which really does not stand a chance in the presence of our God, who has defeated it all and already had the victory.

I know for myself that this journey of bringing it all to the light is a very scary one and not a simple process, and that little girl is still very terrified and in a pretty hard place, but I know that as I do allow myself to bring things into the light He will be faithful and will bring freedom, because that is what His word promises and His word really is the only Truth.

Praying peace and courage for you and for you to really know God surrounding you and protecting you throughout it all.

God bless
Helen

 

[Notsowild]

@Russ
I have been following your post because I can relate to working with PTSD

When my PTSD started my manager had just given his notice. When I came back to work my doctor put me on reduced hours and later shifts. Well my new manager ( her first managerial position) didn't like this. She just scheduled me whenever she wanted- sometimes more days than my doctor said or early shifts( earlies were hard because of not sleeping well)

And my co-workers were rude they'd say things like " It must be nice to have so many days off" I never did tell them about my PTSD they would not understand.

So my doctor had to write another note to tell my boss no early shifts and only 3 days a week. She's been a little better.

Russ you mentioned writing a letter to your manager about your PTSD . Do you think they understand ?

Thanks Russ keep writing its nice to know someone else going through the same things

 

[Deleted member 19804]

How are you doing, Russ?

 

[RussH]

How are you doing, Russ?

Hi Snow,

I am doing ok. I have not been on since last week because of a family emergency. My Mother-in-law has been sick for a long time, and passed away Sunday, yesterday. I am still waiting to get things resolved at work, but I am not worried about it because I did absolutely nothing wrong. So I am going to enjoy christmas, and then get back to work next year.

 

[RussH]

Russ you mentioned writing a letter to your manager about your PTSD . Do you think they understand ?

My manager may not fully understand the PTSD part, but she has a good understanding of the emotional abuse I have suffered, and how it effects me. She is fully supportative of me, and considers me a valuable employee. It is the upper level management that does not really understand, but I am not too concerned about it.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

I am very sorry for your loss, Russ. My condoleances, to you and your family. I hope you will be able to find a lot of love and strength in each other in these difficult times.

 

[RussH]

It is christmas eve, morning. I would normally be at work, but because of the situation at work I am home. The good news is I am able to spend ample time with my family, but the bad news is this cloud (work situation) is hanging over me.

I did talk with Human resources and we are not going to have our meeting until the week of Jan 6th, so I have another two weeks to let this hang over me. I guess next week I will try to find some projects around here to take care of. I am just so ready to get this done with. I know the outcome will be positive, it's just the waiting

 

[RussH]

For those who have been reading I just wanted to post a quick up date. We had my MIL's funeral on Thursday, and came home friday. I have been real sick with a cold, so I have no post much on the computer.

I am still of work. I will not have my meeting until next week, so hopefully I will be back to work within the next two weeks.

I am doing well as far as my PTSD, but then I haven't been at work, so I have been in a safe environment. I do anticipate some anxiety when I go back to work, but I will work through it.

I am hoping to put in a longer post later this week when I start to feel better, but right now I am going to read and relax.

 

[The Albatross]

My condolences for your family Russ about your MIL. Glad you are in a safe environment and hope you recover from your cold and that your employer meeting goes very favorably for you.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Hope you get well soon!

 

[RussH]

I am still waiting to hear from management when we are going to have this meeting at work. It is so frustrating. I am sitting here on pins and needles waiting to hear about my job, and they are just taking their time. It should not take this long.

I am suppose to have the meeting next week, but I still have not been given a date or a time. I really wish this would end so I can get back to my life.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

It sucks that they are not being clear about somethinh this important. Perhaps you can casually mention it when you run into someone from management at the coffee machine or something like that?