Binary, Or Black And White Thinking...

[Philippa]

I'm just wanting to learn a bit more about this particular side effect of living with cptsd or ptsd. I was just given some feedback by a life coach I've been following for a while on the internet, that my thinking on a certain subject was a bit rigid and binary, and I have had similar feedback from an old boyfriend a few years back, though he wasn't very kind about the way he delivered that feedback to me, and I was still coming to terms with being told I had ptsd at the time, and didn't fully accept or believe that I did.

The two instances were about 4-5 years apart, so I'm guessing I've displayed this tendency quite a few times between then and now, though no one else has made me aware of it when I did, and I wasn't aware of doing it myself.

The urban dictionary defines binary thinking as meaning the person thinking rigidly lacks imagination and intelligence...which wasn't very nice to read. I can see how it would seem that way to outsiders, but in the case of ptsd though it may feel like the IQ has dropped a few at times, I don't think it's quite as simple as that.

Does anyone have any kind of information or just want to share about their own experiences with binary thinking? I think it would help me to hear other peoples accounts of their own experiences with it, and maybe strategies that therapists have offered as ways of counter acting this symptom?

 

[Overcast]

I do not understand what you are speaking about to state that. If others are not noticing it and you are not noticing it then maybe it isn't so. I take the time to explore the meaning of what others give me as feedback. Sometimes others have been right on what they were saying and other times it has not been right. The only way I can determine right from wrong in the circumstances is by me taking the subject at hand and thinking objectively and outside my scope of understanding and trying to put my mind into the other person's objective side.

 

[franciemarnie]

Can you give an example of your thinking that's been criticized?

 

[Deleted member 23044]

I just had to look up binary thinking in order to respond... with that said:

The urban dictionary isn't something you should give too much weight/value, in general. I'm curious as to what the subject is that your life coach commented on, and if you feel comfortable please share it.

I am extremely creative and imaginative, and from what I read... and past experiences with people, I think I'm very black/white, or binary(oddly). When people point out that I think in very black and white terms I usually say something along the lines of, "I acknowledge that grey area's exist, but grey itself has a mother and a father... you simply can't make grey without it's parents." Being the creative person I am(an artist) I deal with mixing colors, and so I like this example a lot. :) Usually people don't know how to respond to my comment. In any case... I never felt astounded or awed by any response I got from this description of my black and white thinking patterns. People just usually end it there.

I do not believe that being rigid or binary on certain subjects is entirely bad... unless the binary subject is self-deprecating, and unless it doesn't hurt anyone else(which rules out self-harming ideas and racism/prejudice/murder and etc). But then again... that's MY personal binary-esque thoughts on the matter, that self deprecation and stuff like racism/abuse/murder is "wrong" and "bad." Still, as long as it ain't gonna hurt nobody, what's the big deal?

 

[Philippa]

If others are not noticing it and you are not noticing it then maybe it isn't so.

I said a life coach that I follow just gave me feedback that he did notice it in an argument I posed to him today. I also said that an old boyfriend once pointed it out to me a few years ago as well. I have not had anyone in between those two seperate times point it out to me, so I'm unsure of how often I have displayed this tendency. I know it is a symptom of PTSD, so I was hoping to learn more about it.

I take the time to explore the meaning of what others give me as feedback. Sometimes others have been right on what they were saying and other times it has not been right.

Yes, I understand that, and I also like to explore it for myself to determine whether or not I am having this thinking. I've been introspecting since I did receive his feedback a couple of hours ago. I wasn't and am not entirely sure I was thinking in this way, so I asked another friend I've known for years if he has noticed my thinking to be this way straight afterwards. he hasn't gotten back to me yet...

The only way I can determine right from wrong in the circumstances is by me taking the subject at hand and thinking objectively and outside my scope of understanding and trying to put my mind into the other person's objective side.

Thankyou, that is what I am attempting to do.

 

[elisabeth]

There is not much gray for me. Black and white... right and wrong. I do not believe that this makes me less intelligent by any means. I could probably be more imaginitive. I just think of it as having a strong moral compass. I usually am the person who speaks up when i believe something is wrong. I think to much gray could lead to a person being easily manipulated. Thats just my personal opinion. However, since i am a binary thinker i may not be seeing the gray...Wow! I may need to think on this a while longer:confused:

 

[Philippa]

Can you give an example of your thinking that's been criticized?

Sure.

He posted a video about drugs (recreational) and how they are basically weakness in his opinion, especially in a therapeutic context where they are mostly used as a way of coping, and numbing feelings.

I argued that in the case of people who have had severe childhood abuses, in some cases it might be better if they did use drugs as a coping mechanism, even if it did not lead to them thriving, but just surviving. I said that in some cases it might be better than those people getting in touch with their anger and rage over what has happened to them, as it could backfire and they may become dangerous to themselves or others who are merely present when they do connect with their rage, and have it taken out on them unfairly.

He basically said that my thinking was binary here, that I only thought of two main options...either continue taking the drugs to cope or risk destruction by unsupported connection with difficult emotions like rage and anger.

He did explain that he comes from a background where considered debate and arguing subjects was encouraged, and he took a lot of enjoyment from doing so. I did not take it as criticism so much as feedback that he pointed out this binary thinking to me...well maybe initially I was a little miffed. He is a therapist and life coach after all, so it is in his practise to point out what he observes, and he offers free counselling online to his followers.

So far I have found him very helpful, and amusing at times.

 

[Philippa]

I don't consider myself to be unimaginative or unintelligent either... I was just pointing out that the urban dictionary stated that consistent binary thinking can mean the person is unintelligent or unimaginative, which wasn't very nice to read. I didn't say I believed it.

 

[Philippa]

I do not believe that being rigid or binary on certain subjects is entirely bad... unless the binary subject is self-deprecating, and unless it doesn't hurt anyone else(which rules out self-harming ideas and racism/prejudice/murder and etc).

I did look up a counter argument to this straight after the definition, and there was another article pretty much saying the same thing as you. In my own thinking I am undecided as to whether it's a "good" or "bad" thing?

When it was pointed out to me years ago, by my then boyfriend, he said it to me in a very unkind way that made it seem like I'd done something really wrong, or was somehow defective, which wasn't pleasant.

The life coach online tonight put it to me in a different way, and related to me as he's sought out therapy in the past for ptsd related trauma also, and was made aware of his own binary thinking by a therapist, so he was much more supportive in his tone, though it was on the internet.

 

[elisabeth]

I see now. Your post cleared it up for me. I don't see how there was any right answer in your discussion. Did you feel like the therapist was looking for you to answer in the way he way he wanted? I am glad you found additional support! Sometimes i think therapists are looking for a specific answer!!

 

[Philippa]

I think to much gray could lead to a person being easily manipulated. Thats just my personal opinion. However, since i am a binary thinker i may not be seeing the gray...Wow! I may need to think on this a while longer:confused:

I actually think there is a pretty significant grey area in many things, so thinking in grey probably isn't such a bad thing.

I also have a very strong moral compass. I never considered that to be symptomatic of ptsd or rigid thinking though...but I guess in a world that is morally corrupt it might seem like we are the odd ones out.

 

[Philippa]

I see now. Your post cleared it up for me. I don't see how there was any right answer in your discussion. Did you feel like the therapist was looking for you to answer in the way he wanted? It almost sounds like it.

I did wonder if I'd pissed him off by challenging his way of thinking about the drug use amongst this group of people, if that's what you mean? I did get the impression initially that I'd pissed him off, and when I told him he said that he loves to argue a subject or debate and it can sometimes come across as him having a negative reaction, but that his communication usually calms after a bit.

For me, I usually don't like to debate much, as it tends to become more of an ego thing, where both parties try to make themselves the more 'right' one. I wondered if I had stepped on his authority as a therapist, by challenging the notion that in some cases drug use may be the better option for certain clients.