Starting Emdr In About 36 Hours

[scout86]

Just wanted to wish you luck! I don't know anything about the process, so I've nothing to offer but support. It seems like a safe place that exists in your head could be anything you want, since it's your safety and your head. (Funny, I just sent my T an email and told him if he was waiting for me to feel "safe" he'd better not hold his breath. LOL I'm thinking he's probably heard that before, based on the comments here!)

 

[Leanne1]

I have been seeing a therapist who does emdr for a month and a half now. We started, and it was to much for me. I thought of one thing, and everything flooded in. So we have spent the last few weeks working on more coping tools for during the sessions and in between sessions.

I have been using the hand held things which have been fine, until I was feeling strong things then they became to intense. So when we start again, I will try something else.

Sometimes I am supposed to be remembering something, and then I go blank. She has interpreted this one time as the emdr lessening my experience, but I think I just checked out from the intensity. I'm trying to not over think it as my tendency is to think I am doing it wrong.

Good luck. Remember you can always say stop if it is to much.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I record my EMDR sessions since I dissociate a lot still during the really rough things.

Then when I listen back to the sessions, I can finally "hear" what my therapist and I said, and I can identify hot spots. I had to ask for and receive special permission from the agency for this, but my therapists believed this would help me and got some flexibility into the policy for patients who dissociate a lot.

The biggest challenge for me is not judging what comes up in my head, just allowing it to spill out. That, and working hard to keep one foot in the present as I look at the past.

The first several months of EMDR for me were a process of learning how to identify what I'm feeling emotionally and physically, then identifying signs I'm getting flooded. It's much better now.

Hang in there. You survived terrible trauma. Your track record for surviving is 100%. Trust that strength in yourself.

 

[scout86]

a process of learning how to identify what I'm feeling emotionally and physically,

If it's not too far off topic, can I ask how you approached that? I've been told that I don't recognize my "feelings" in a lot of cases and have been trying to figure out how I can "work on" that. I'd really appreciate insights and suggestions.

 

[BloomInWinter]

It's been a long process, but for me it really did require being able to tolerate distress enough that I could just breathe, then turn my attention inward, and ask myself "what is this I'm feeling? Where in my body do I feel this? When have I felt this before?" then giving myself a pat on the back for practicing self-awareness.

I kept doing this for the past few years when I've been upset in some fashion, and over time each emotional state has become easier to identify, once I remember to do so. My therapist(s) have helped me learned to tolerate just 'sitting with' my emotions. Not wishing them away or judging them, just listening to what I'm feeling and what it's trying to teach me about myself.

Triggers have become learning experiences for me to use in practicing distress tolerance, naming the feelings, and then using self-comforting/grounding strategies to see if I can help that emotion(s) dissipate without resorting to unhelpful actions or thinking styles.

A lot of my emotions that are the most distressing turn out to have a specific "voice" saying some core believe in my head. Once I can identify what I'm telling myself, I try to remember where I originally heard the comment or remark...or just picked up that belief. That becomes a target for EMDR and we go after it together in the therapy room.

EMDR has not only helped my PTSD, it has truly begun helping me make my own life the life I wish to live. It takes courage to face these things down, but every thing I face in therapy, I conquer.

It's a magnificent feeling to finally take steps fully into the present and have the residual injuries of my traumas heal and fall back into the past where they belong.

 

[scout86]

Thank you!

I've done some reading that suggested the idea of "sitting with" your emotions. I'm having a hard time even understanding what they're talking about. It helps a LOT to hear that it took you a long time to make the progress you've made. It's been so useful for so long, not to "feel" very much.... It's kind of hard to shift gears, and also to be "ok" with the idea of shifting gears. Typically, my therapist will ask me what I'm feeling, or how I feel about something, then I stop and think about it. I can tell that I feel "something" it's hard to give it a name. Yet, I have a pretty good vocabulary. If someone talks about being "sad" or something, I get what they mean......Except I'm beginning to think I only get part of what they mean. One of my first sessions, I'd related a piece of life history and my therapist commented that it was sad. He caught me totally off guard. I stared at him a second and said, "It is?" And I was serious. I guess I now see where it could be thought of as sad, but it was just something that happened, as far as I was concerned.

The whole idea of EMDR sounds kind of scarey! (and it hasn't been brought up in therapy either). I'm not so sure I WANT to ":feel" some of this stuff. But, I guess that's just kind of where I, personally, am at right now. It's a process, I know, and I probably have a ways to go before I get to that point.

 

[Marf]

I have been doing EMDR for a year now and my biggest suggestion is to drink a lot of water and just trust your brain. Our brains are just magnificent how they protect us and let us heal too. You may get a headache or tingling feeling during the process and feel tired that day and the next day also. Good luck!

 

[Abstract]

. Your track record for surviving is 100%. Trust that strength in yourself.

This is very well said. Good luck kas. :)

It helps a LOT to hear that it took you a long time to make the progress you've made

There is a common foundation between how Bloom did this and what I did. It took me literally years to get somewhere with it and that was working on it every single day. I believe it doesn't take that long for most people but I was very disconnected. After a 7 year period my life was transformed in many respects. I don't know how I would survive now without that foundation.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

If it's not too far off topic

I'd have needed to ask that too Scout so not off topic at all! In fact it's good because I get so used to people talking about emotions and having no clue, I tend to just skip past it and would likely have done here, even though I know it's an issue.

what is this I'm feeling?

This is where I need to get to and I'm just starting to. Previously and still a lot of the time I won't even know I feel anxious or distressed but will be able to piece it together later that day or another day entirely, like I might be able to realise that I was shaking all over and holding myself tight, I was aware of everything going on around me, every person, every movement, every breathe, my pulse was faster than usual - Later (yes later) I would realise that I was probably nervous. However for me that's pretty normal every time I leave the house, but nonetheless it's helping me (a year or so later) to notice I get nervous when I leave the house. In the last week, I have started to be slightly aware of other "feelings" and it's odd, they're still alien - disturbingly so, but I do feel them a little - I don't think I like it!

Your track record for surviving is 100%.

I agree with Abstract, this is alarmingly correct! :) I don't know if I believe it, but I know it's true - mind boggling! :confused:

I got it wrong, I don't know if that was basic maths or basic calender skills. My session is on Thursday, so actually 36 hours from now.

Thanks everyone for your help, it's useful to hear all this stuff, negative and all. :)

 

[Lucycat]

Just trying to check my world wide clock. How long to go now?!