Don't Know If This The Right Place, Self Image What Do You Think Of Yourself?

[billie]

I feel like a kid. But sometimes I feel strong? Btw, dont be hard on yourself Nomedic, you have a wonderful heart, and with all due respect your photo is fine. :)

 

[Nellie]

Your photo certainly wouldn't scare me away :)

 

[Nellie]

As for my own self image, it is terrible right now. Physically I feel like an ugly old woman and hate every single part of me. Almost all of my hair has fallen out because my body is under so much stress from PTSD. I'm female and 28 years old. Emotionally I feel like a young child.

 

[nomedic1]

I'm the guy at the back otherwise the lens would have cracked

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am cultivating a Helen Hayes vibe

That is cool. She was a 'change the world' person. :) "...was an American actress whose career spanned almost 80 years. She eventually garnered the nickname "First Lady of the American Theatre" and was one of eleven people who have won an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar and a Tony Award (an EGOT). Hayes also received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, America's highest civilian honor, from President Ronald Reagan in 1986. In 1988, she was awarded the National Medal of Arts."

@nomedic1 Sorry but that last post of yours made me laugh out loud. I am sorry you are feeling this way. The support you are getting right now I hope helps you in realizing you are worth something and are not alone.

 

[nursenurse]

You don't need to have PTSD to suffer from poor self image. Mine stemmed from 21 years of a progressively emotional abusive marriage. I was called many names, some unprintable, but for some reason, the one that stuck was "Fat Stupid Cow." Now, I am a little fluffy, but in decent shape, I am not stupid, and I sport 2 breasts and not a 4 squirter udder. I normally let such things roll off my back, but this crept up on me, insidiously, and I internalized it without knowing it. Until I separated/divorced him. Every time I looked in the mirror, I heard those words. When I wondered about dating, and who would/could ever like me again, I heard those words. While the Dude, my sufferer, whom I broke off with in September, was caught red handed so to speak with the Skank (and trust me, she is NOT pretty), well, my self confidence pretty much tanked again, even though he never called me names. I could hear the Ex Boy's words echo once again.

The point is, we are our own worst enemies, aren't we. No one is a harsher critic of our looks, our traits, than we ourselves. And we like to foist those thoughts upon others, even though no one is really giving us a sideways glance.

Self love and acceptance is so important, and is not selfish, but a need for survival. So every day you have to find something about yourself to like. And repeat, ad nauseum, until you believe it about yourself. find the good traits, both physical and emotional. You aren't a total wreck. You are good at your job. What trait makes you good? Start with the obvious things, then work your way to the more personal, intimate things. Over and over again. You need to love yourself before others can love you whole heartedly, especially if you are looking for a special someone.

Loner? Nothing wrong with needing wanting alone time, but if it is because you think people are looking sideways at you, think again. It is we who project that onto others, when they truly don't give a flying fig. All they see is another human being. Those closer tend to see the good qualities we sometimes don't see in ourselves.

Now, if you own the arm and leg in the background of the picture, well, they seem to be a good start. If you are either of the two up front, well, they look pretty darn good. And from reading some of your posts, you have what most of us want to see in ourselves inside and out. You have heart, you have soul, you have inner beauty.

I work on this everyday, and I am at the stage in my life where I pretty much don't give a rat's sorry behind anymore, for the most part. I pray that you will also be able to realize your own self worth and see what we read here :)

 

[nomedic1]

I am the the second guy less strain on that camera lens , I guess I am just unable to see anything in myself, I just see what those dark dogs bring.

 

[nursenurse]

You aren't ugly, and you certainly aren't old. How you see yourself physically reflects on how you see yourself internally, and i know what a struggle that can be. I focus on what I contribute to my work, to my friends, to the volunteer stuff that I do, and I have had to learn how to accept a compliment. That is hard!

Are you in counselling now? The good inner qualities need to start surfacing. You are still carrying a burden in your heart, and you need to lighten that however you can. As for looks, let us be the judge of that :D

 

[nomedic1]

Yes have a great T, I just slip into this especially when I'm trying to process that day

 

[nursenurse]

Anything in particular that happened?

 

[Abstract]

crept up on me, insidiously, and I internalized it without knowing it.

This is what happens. I don't think anyone is immune and as you say it is insidious.

Nomedic. What we all do when we do this is somatise our emotions. Although it is coping mechanism it heaps pain on top of pain. One of the most helpful things I have found is to take some time whenever feelings like this come up (all the time in the past) and ask myself how I am feeling and what caused me to feel that way. I am not allowed to describe anything in terms of physical traits. I am then forced to deal with real things.

Its all about separating those emotions from somatic traits so that I get to feel them, release them and preferably do something about them. Leaving them somatised means I can't do any of that and just heaps shame and pain on top of shame and pain.

From the outside it is almost laughable that you think you are ugly or old ( I mean that kindly). I know what that feels like. I was modelling and yet at the same time feel monstrous and toxic and as people were going to start throwing rotten fruit at me any second.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

We are our own worst critic. We are our own worst enemy. Sadly...

I'm incredibly hard on myself. I beat myself up over my weight, my looks, my stupid disorder. I tell myself that nobody is ever going to want me. I'm in my 30's and very single... :( I obsess over being so ugly. I have the thought that I'm so ugly, I should just be shot to be put out of my own misery. I scrub up well, but I have those moments when I look in the mirror and hate what I see, telling myself DUH, no wonder you're alone and unliked.

Damn the media. It's their fault that we hate ourselves. At least partly. We think we should look fabulous and when we don't it turns into self hatred. A few months ago I saw an un-photoshopped pic of Madonna. She looked old and haggard. I saw the photoshopped after pic and she looked like she was 25. And I'm totally not buying that Christie Brinkly looks that fabulous at 60 and hasn't had any work done.

PS You're not ugly. I think your pic looks fine.