Brene Brown Ted Talks About Vulnerability

[Tinyflame]

It's great that you had the presence of mind to see the insanity and unjustness of it all.

S2T, if flashbacks and body memories worry you, would you think of learning how to manage them, 'if' or 'when' they 'MAY' occur?

Really no different than learning how to fly, as with many things, they say 90% is preparing for emergencies.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

It's great that you had the presence of mind to see the insanity and unjustness of it all.

It was unmistakable. How could I possibly see anything else? I was blamed and shamed for biting my grandpa. Deemed a biter no man would ever want. Really? ~eyeroll~ Exactly WHAT did he expect? He was a power rapist. I heard the words abortion and lesbian long before I knew what they meant. Try living with that nonsense for years.


I was deemed a lesbian by my entire family. GEEEEEEEEEEEE....could it be something more simple as I didn't want to F ol` gramps and my older male sibling??? From the depths of my heart. F the family tradition. They're primates that don't deserve their thumbs! LOL! I happily remember trying to bite his thumbs off too! Yay Me!

For the love of God...Hello....incest is incest...the level of narcissism it takes to deem ME a lesbian is comical! LOL

 

[Abstract]

Well done for bravely exploring vulnerability on here. I have to agree with junebug about BB but maybe that isn't the most important factor here and think you see that. It's about vulnerability and trust. I very much get having trust issues and fearing vulnerability. Working with a therapist is very challenging when it comes to both I find. So much so that I find it extremely difficult.

but body memories are trapped negative energy. Right?

No, I am afraid not. I think only looking at positive and negative energy when it comes to PTSD will block our progress at a certain point. Probably really helpful before that but then we hit a brick wall. The reason for that is that our brain has literally misfiled the experiences. Until we take them out, experience all those awful emotions and re file them we will have symptoms of trauma such as re experiencing.

It seems to me you could continue to use your positivity and your use of positive energy that is so important to you but learn where you need to put it aside and work on other dimensions of things.

What you don't want to do is leave experiences and emotions unprocessed because you are afraid of the negativity that comes with processing them. I have done that with things before and it was hard to change it. I think there are ways of hanging on to who you are and refining and deepening your coping skills and processing experiences and emotions. There will always be problems that arise when we put all our eggs in one basket so to speak.

I think you actually know a lot of this already as I have seen you make comments which show awareness of it.

 

[Hashi]

The problem for me is that Brene Brown's context is so far from a PTSD context. She has to "call deep on her courage" over what title she's given in the publicity for a presentation. A mother's great challenge is how she feels if her child doesn't make the tennis team.

I think courage and challenge mean something different when you've survived trauma, and what Brene Brown's discussing isn't even relevant. Brene Brown is not talking about vulnerability to flashbacks, retraumatisation and psychosis. Her stuff might be useful later down the road when working on smaller life issues (to me, it wouldn't be but maybe for some people) but I don't think it's appropriate to apply it to trauma work in therapy.

@Survivor2Thriver, is your therapist suggesting you allow yourself to be more vulnerable and try EMDR despite your worries? If so, I'd find that very concerning. Some intensive work on safety would be much more appropriate - and that's where I would see positive imagery being useful, if used in a realistic way. It would also be useful to do other types of processing - which don't have to be EMDR.

 

[bell]

@Abstract, I'm not trying to argue, but I think that in some trains of thought body memories are seen an trapped negative energy as @Survivor2Thriver suggests.

@Hashi, I think you are right when it comes to PTSD and BB.

My comments were based on her work outside of a purely PTSD context. I think there is a some good stuff to take from it, but can see where other people totally disagree, too.

 

[Abstract]

@bell, I can see that actually. I'm just not sure that it is in the same way as Survivor is looking at it. It is trapped negativity or trapped negative experiences but people who follow positive and negative energy exclusively avoid what is seen as negativity at all cost. Trauma may be trapped negative energy/experiences but I don't think it is "just trapped negative energy". It's much more than that. There is no positive energy only way of getting it untrapped as it is unprocessed, incorrectly stored, and stored in the form of disjointed sensory and emotional information.

Survivor, I have to say I am not totally clear how vulnerability plays a role in processing trauma though. It seems to me that it is more of a safety issue and maybe the need to develop a much wider range of coping or safety skills.

If it is about allowing your t in enough to see these things and allow other people into your life then I can see its relevance.

 

[Lucycat]

I think only looking at positive and negative energy when it comes to PTSD will block our progress at a certain point. Probably really helpful before that but then we hit a brick wall. The reason for that is that our brain has literally misfiled the experiences. Until we take them out, experience all those awful emotions and re file them we will have symptoms of trauma such as re experiencing.

This is exactly how I understand it. Mis-filed is such a good way to explain it. Filed correctly and it loses its emotional baggage, but, yes, the pain is in the location, extraction and refiling processes. Once done it can sit there and gather proverbial dust.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I agree with @Kas_Can_Fly. Yeah, I know, you're shocked. ;)

You want a type of processing that doesn't have the *possibility* of sending you into a flashback. I hate to break it to you, but this type of processing doesn't exist. (Nor do I think it will ever exist.)

I went to a trauma center that had a newer type of processing that was designed to prevent the re-living aspect. (Every other attempt at processing threw me into horrible dissociation, and I didn't deal with dissociation as a recurring problematic symptom outside of talking about my trauma.) Yes, I still had emotional flashbacks during those two weeks, but there was no re-living aspect.

Trauma therapy isn't easy, but you want it to be. It's like having a thorn imbedded deep in your side and saying I want the thorn gone but not if it's going to hurt when you dig it out! Even with anesthesia, you'd still have some pain.

I think that after awhile the "I'm so happy and positive" facade will wear thin. You'll realize that simply being positive all the time isn't enough to get better. I don't think you'll ever become trauma free (as you say you will be one day) without processing your trauma, which means digging into the past and risking being mentally sent to a dark place. And yes, risking having more flashbacks.

I know you'll disregard my post and tell me that I'm being negative like you have in the past. But maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to realize that what I say has validity.

 

[Lucycat]

I went to a trauma center that had a newer type of processing that was designed to prevent the re-living aspect.

Do you know the name of this therapy? It sounds very interesting.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think @Hashi is correct, it's the hole in the relevance applied to ptsd (versus everyday life) that leaves me a bit frustrated, or feeling badly about myself with those talks. PTSD/ trauma is a more extreme end of the spectrum of what emotions and such are experienced (or may be, as S2T said with flashbacks).

I actually don't "dislike' BB at all. I just get the feeling she headed to Social Work because she has much of her own pain that seems very present. Not that she can't relate to trauma but that she feels she can overcome it with knowledge. Of course I could be all wrong. :laugh:

@Abstract , I totally relate to how vulnerability and processing trauma go hand in hand, which part do you feel isn't connected? I think 'safety' is ideally the environment one would hope to find their vulnerable-self within, as they process it , at the worst of times (processing). If that makes sense. :confused:

 

[Tinyflame]

I must say I would rather emotionally and mentally re-live it (ideally once) than re-live it repeatedly in real life. Especially through trauma- re-enactment (and related unconscious and deleterious choices).

There must be something to that, because I don't think I've ever had the exact same flashback more than once.

 

[Abstract]

I must say I would rather emotionally and mentally re-live it (ideally once) than re-live it repeatedly in real life

That's it exactly. Until we manage to go there in therapy and go through that pain and get to the other side we are doomed to repeatedly re live daily and weekly. How much worse that is!

Junebug, I think the difference is a subtle at the most if that makes sense. I was meaning that I think Survivors concerns about re living the trauma in therapy is about way more than vulnerability. It's about it jarring with her only means of creating safety and coping for her. That's why I think just saying be more vulnerable and trusting isn't going to work. That having more ways of creating safety for her and knowing when to put the positive negative stuff aside will be really important for her. I don't think anyone should be breaking down such an important thing for her though and it should be about adding to it and being able to recognise its limitations.

Discussing anything difficult certainly always involves a certain amount of willingness to be vulnerable. I know for me what it feels like is people will have "the goods" on me and be able to use it against me.