Thinking About The Future

[Justmehere]

Does anyone else find planning for the future nearly impossible? Prior to PTSD (but not prior to trauma), I used to plan everything I could reasonably plan for the next 5 years. I had a general sense of direction in life.

Over the past few years, after enduring a lot more trauma, and then enduring my PTSD symptoms getting worse, I have stopped being able to easily think of the future.

Sometimes, I am in a panic when trying to think of planning my life. I want to go back to school, but I start to panic trying to picture myself 6 months from now. I'm not really fearing any specific thing, I just get filled with dread. Sometimes, I don't feel panic, but it is very hard to get myself to think forward into the future. It's quite annoying at best!

I don't have specific worries or fears about the future, I simply can't seem to think of the future, or when I do, and when I think of even positive things in the future, I get into quite the state of paralyzing fear or shut down.

My therapist says this is PTSD related and will get better as the PTSD gets better. Does anyone else struggle with this too?

 

[SeanCharles]

Yes I do! I know with my current situation, my PTSD is worsening and has to the point that I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism within the last five years now which wasn't caught earlier, at least that I am aware of, and then last year in December I have another seizure which is how I came to join this forum!

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

It gets better when the PTSD gets better. At least it did for me. Something I really thought I would never have; A Future!

 

[Britt.f7]

I do find what you said to be true. I try not to think too much of the future, or panic sets in. I try to live daily. That's enough for me.

 

[SeanCharles]

It's struggle for sure to look to the future when you first have to deal with the past, while also dealing with the present. The present though is also a good indicator that has brought you into the present(in other words for me, I survived my past, and those events have brought me to this very moment!) Cherishing the present is refreshing, while it can also be difficult when you want to move even further forward in your life.

 

[Pencil]

Yes, big time. At some point in my life I had a career, a future, direction. It is all lost.

 

[SeanCharles]

Yes, big time. At some point in my life I had a career, a future, direction. It is all lost.

When I first started with the company I am employed with, I had my own expectations, then I realized those would never come. If I'm not mistaken, I had been diagnosed with ptsd before I started the job... While I had the diagnosis, I didn't know how this would impact my job. It wasn't until the seizure last year that I realize these ARE more likely connected to my ptsd than they are simply epilepsy... I definitely need to confirm this with proper medical opinion and documentation. I seem to be dwelling on this issue a lot. Has anyone else noticed this?

 

[FindingMyself88]

It definitely causes panic and anxiety for me, plus extreme shame and guilt for having to drop out of university for at least 2 semesters, possibly more. I think for me, its hard to think about going back because I am afraid of my PTSD overcoming me again, even when I do get better. I'm praying getting my service dog will help and that I can keep going forward with school starting in August again.

I think the best you and all of us can do right now is focus on healing ourselves right now so that we can prepare for our future!

 

[SeanCharles]

I think the best you and all of us can do right now is focus on healing ourselves right now so that we can prepare for our future!

I find for me with the toxicity of my workplace, and everything I am trying to deal with and reconcile considering the length of time I have maintained over the years that doing this is hindering my ability to focus on the heavy work I need to do with the trauma(s) as there are four I need to confront, process and heal from. So, trying to figure out how to survive with all this is proving a bit more challenging for my selves!

 

[FindingMyself88]

@Geordie By no means am I saying it is easy. I am thankful that even though I had to move back in with my mother who is mentally toxic at times for me, I had the option so that once I'm able to return to school, I can focus on that. I was on a fast track to a breakdown, well in fact I guess I did have one since i attempted suicide. So no its not easy, but we have to find ways to try to help ourselves in the midst of life. I think that is the only true way we can work on our future!

 

[shimmerz]

Has anyone else noticed this?

Absolutely @Geordie. I have never (to my knowledge) had a seizure before my PTSD rekindled. I have a friend who has been diagnosed with Epilepsy who I am certain has PTSD but it is not diagnosed. He almost went into a seizure based on something he watched on television that reminded him of a 'trauma piece' he had forgotten. If I am reading your question correctly I believe seizures can be linked to trauma triggers and not sudden onset of epilepsy.

Does anyone else find planning for the future nearly impossible? Prior to PTSD (but not prior to trauma), I used to plan everything I could reasonably plan for the next 5 years. I had a general sense of direction in life.
Does anyone else struggle with this too?

Absolutely. Plans for my future were a key component of 'me'. It shook me to pieces when I realized I had no 'plan' anymore. Alot of this was due to the fact that I could no longer be assured that I could live up to any type of expectation, no matter how simple. It took me a long time to even stop telling people I could do things that I could not. I just didn't have a grasp that I was not the pre-PTSD person anymore. It was a horrifying realization.

Yes, big time. At some point in my life I had a career, a future, direction. It is all lost.

Yes. Everything. Everybody. Every hope. Every dream. I started to see snippets of a future again but something recently has set me back. I am not sure yet what it is.

 

[SeanCharles]

If I am reading your question correctly I believe seizures can be linked to trauma triggers and not sudden onset of epilepsy.

My seizures, I feel are misdiagnosed, and as may be the case, is being treated as epilepsy and I am on medication for them.

I happened to be redoing some dot connecting after the last and latest seizure of last year, back in December before Christmas.

In 2009 I had come off the medication because it wasn't working, as I was then without insurance, as I had just lost my medicaid which I was on pre-work, and also decided to move to company insurance which didn't kick in until Jan 1, 2010!

I had successfully been off the meds and had a few seizure auras, but never lost consciousness, until the seizure I had in December. I suspect based on several things I recall that not knowing what I went through during my unconsciousness phase, seemed more like PNES symptoms and not Epilepsy. I am hoping to maybe go see a doc who specializes in the diagnosis of epilepsy so I can hopefully get a proper diagnosis and then develop a plan for if I have another seizure. In the course of my research I found this forum, what I actually meant by this question was has anyone notice that keep referring back to these seizures regularly...