Mentally Ill

[Wolvescry]

No one believes me because I am mentally ill, or am I mentally ill because no one believed me?

 

[verasdfghjkl]

I don't think that someone can be defined just by people's perception, because it's all depending on their interpretation what the 'verdict' will be.

However, as for the first part of the sentence, I have had those situations in the past when some people who knew of my past and illness didn't take me seriously... I tried to find a way somewhere in the middle, and asked of the people around me the same. So for example when I get raging mad because of something small, they shouldn't take my reaction to that too seriously, or understand that I'll probably be very irritable, but when I ask them to sit down calmly and I want to talk about something that I really didn't like they did I want them to take me seriously. I hope I make some sense :)

 

[arfie]

I hope I am not invalidating something that is important to you, but your question got me surfing for unanswerable questions. Thought I'd share one of my faves so far:

[DLMURL]http://www.pinterest.com/lastlemon/unanswerable-questions/[/DLMURL]

Gentle apology if I did minimize a serious thread. My sincere answer is that I honestly do not know.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

When I first started therapy, I began to realize the depths of the abuse and began uncovering things about the abuses in my life. No one believed me at first either and as I pursued therapy, I began the process of educating people and was finally believed by a rare few people.

It got to the point that my sister also got into therapy. But she quit and is very toxic and sick still.

I had to disconnect from my family because no one believed me. They were all stuck in their denial of reality.

There is a future and a hope for you if you stick with it. It is a long painful journey but you will become a real person, healthier than your family.

I wish you the best. I wish I could take your pain away, I empathize and relate to what you said.

You are ill because of past traumas in your life. Only you know what they were.

 

[TLight]

I prefer to think our brains got injured by trauma and abuse and a significant part of that trauma, at least for me, was being told nothing was wrong and I was 'loved.' (right..?????)

Mind F*ck is traumatizing in and of itself.

 

[NovemberStar]

I think it can be both. In my case, I was traumatized, became mentally ill as a result, and then not being believed made my mental illness worse.

 

[ghotiff]

A lot of my problems come from other peoples denial of my childhood trauma. As a result I have some denial issues of my own that I have only just discovered.

Even with some evidence (eg childhood diaries) I still doubt my own reality. But, intellectually I KNOW it happened (some very clear memories, but a lot of gaps).

 

[shimmerz]

I was, at one time, known for my credibility. People sought me out for just that reason. Then BAM! Everyone was second guessing me. Even myself. I found out my story (which had been lost to me due to my age and adoption at the age of 2) 50 years later. Everyone who mattered to me my whole life had lied to me. They were all dead (adoptive parents and family) or covering up to protect themselves (birth parents and sister). Therefore, I had, in other's eyes 'lost it' (it being my credibility). The story was, I have to admit, unbelievable. However my body and subconscious was ready to tell their truths. My truths.

If anyone refers to me as having 'mental problems' or mentally ill, I correct them immediately (for my own reasons) as 'damaged'. It feels more appropriate and allows me to attach to and end goal of being able to 'repair' day by day. I may not necessarily get to fixed - but seriously, who out there is really 'fixed'. What does that even mean?

I am the only one that needs to believe me at this point and I found that the more I was wrapped up in having others believe me, the more frantic I became. Now there is only one truth that matters. That is mine.

 

[verasdfghjkl]

@shimmerz just curious. Do you think other people find 'mentally ill' or 'mental problems' something that allows them to not take someone seriously? Because they might think the 'mentally ill person''s thoughts are not to be taken seriously because of their illness?

In the beginning, when I just got my diagnosis of PTSD, I found it really hard to accept the fact that it is a mental illness... Took me half a year until I could accept this. It had been even worse before that: the very first time a close friend of me said really calmly 'I think you should see a therapist', I felt kind of offended, but this was like 3 years ago. I couldn't imagine I could be mentally ill. Ironically, I already was, back then. It just shows me how something like mental illness, or going to a therapist - in short mental health is not something society seems to regard as something relevant. And íf this was relevant, well, then you must be a total nutcase, or something. I think that there should be a little more information that should be disseminated to all people in society... At least where I come from :) Fortunately, our government is already trying to get information about mental health - or illness out there. Step by step

I am the only one that needs to believe me at this point and I found that the more I was wrapped up in having others believe me, the more frantic I became. Now there is only one truth that matters. That is mine.

^ I couldn't agree more.[DOUBLEPOST=1398867603,1398867487][/DOUBLEPOST]

I may not necessarily get to fixed - but seriously, who out there is really 'fixed'. What does that even mean?

Studies here in The Netherlands have shown that 1/3 people have some kind of mental abnormality

 

[shimmerz]

Do you think other people find 'mentally ill' or 'mental problems' something that allows them to not take someone seriously?

Absolutely I do @verasdfghjkl . I am however, more concerned with how the term mentally ill is perceived in society and among therapists in limiting the patient's perception of being able to heal.

Studies here in The Netherlands have shown that 1/3 people have some kind of mental abnormality

I am going to go 3/3 to be honest. (I understand I may get blasted for this statement) The 2/3 who do not recognize that there is some healing that could be incorporated - maladaptive behaviours that could be adjusted to make their life or others around them happier - that to me, is delusional thinking. We all have issues. I also believe that narcissists and sociopaths will rarely go for help (therefore it throws off the numbers) because they would never think that there is anything wrong with themselves as that is the nature of the beast.

In my country there is no time for self introspection until the burn out. Most people are hanging on by their fingertips. Luckily I had a complete breakdown so I can deal with this. Let me explain. It has been horrendous financially for me but I wouldn't have passed this experience up for anything. I have learned so much about myself. And who better to know than myself no matter what the cost?

 

[verasdfghjkl]

In my country there is no time for self introspection until the burn out. Most people are hanging on by their fingertips.

This is the main idea of most of the working people here, too. There is a smaller group of people who do believe mental health is something to look after.

I also agree on the fact that a complete breakdown doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing if someone gets the help they need. It requires them to take a good look at themselves and it is a perfect time for self reflection - something that is very underrated in my eyes, and also something most of the people here (in my country) don't really think of, they just want to 'keep going' to be productive with work or studies or smt. I guess.

I also think that the better we get to understand ourselves, our minds and behaviour, the better we get to understand other people's minds and behaviour. We're really all just people with emotions and we may react to it differently, but I believe there is a pattern in a few things. Lately, my gut has been fairly right most of the time. It's wonderful how a time of medication, breakdowns, therapy and all kinds of shitty things that go along with them brings so many valuable answers, at least, to me.

 

[shimmerz]

We're really all just people with emotions and we may react to it differently, but I believe there is a pattern in a few things.

That is what I use as a litmus test for my somatic responses and figuring out this jigsaw puzzle. For eg. If I never cry and I compare that to the masses and some people do cry when there is a good reason, then
1. what made me so afraid to cry?
2. as an adult do I want to have the freedom to cry if I want to without that fear?
3. if I answer this question and am committed to my answer it is now my choice - and that allows me to heal. .

I feel like a life driven by fear is a life lived in shackles and chains. What I do know is that I want to be free of them. Some people don't have them, others choose to ignore them, others will gnaw their arm off to get rid of them. How important is an arm in the whole scheme of things? ;)

Lately, my gut has been fairly right most of the time.

I have found being able to listen to my gut to be a very helpful thing. Did this take much work on your part @verasdfghjkl ?