What Are You Thinking?

[Britt.f7]

I'm thinking that I have one more party to get through in the coming week. When first brought up, before I took a second to think of it, I jumped at the idea. Now I have reservations. But that is normal for me, considering how little I leave the house. Especially to be around a bunch of people. I can do this.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am thinking of something that popped into my head today and it was keep looking up. I do not know what that means and I am going to explore and meditate on this phrase for awhile. It seems to be a positive thought that came to me and this is very good. My answers will come from within.

 

[tired of the fight]

Right now I'm thinking, how am I going to make it through the day. Waking from a bad dream, doesn't make for an easy day. I hope I can self talk and think about good things.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am thinking that since I am so exhausted, it makes me vulnerable to negative thinking. I keep on catching myself at it. I find being this tired is a set up for me now.

 

[Britt.f7]

I'm thinking that I am getting better. It is a slow process, but I am doing better. I still have the fear and anxiety about leaving my house. Hopefully that will get better. Hard to imagine.

 

[Tanishq]

I am thinking to be easy on myself as I have woke up just.

 

[Britt.f7]

I'm thinking that I feel useless in my sister's life. Not that she makes me feel that way. It is just knowing that she is hurting because her son is an addict, and not being able to do anything to relieve her pain. I just try to be here to listen and not judge. I hope that is enough.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I'm thinking that I hear the word "triggers" is everywhere now.

 

[Go Hungry]

I'm thinking that it's quite likely that my new boss is going to try to push out everyone that my old boss hired, and possibly me too. I have a backup plan, but it's one that I'd rather not use.

 

[Let It Be]

I'm thinking of those times of growing up and being compared to my sister. My sister was the "golden child" who became quite successful, married a successful guy, had successful children, and built her very expensive dream house.

I can see how it has been so difficult for me to accept me and my life for what it is but as each day goes by now, I am allowing these thoughts to lessen in me.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Good going Let It Be. I am very proud of you. Usually very dysfunctional families have a golden child and a scape goat. I was the scape goat so I can relate to what you are going through. I think you are wonderful. You are working so hard on your healing and recovery and I suspect your sister has not been doing that. You are the strongest one in the family and survived the best.

 

[Let It Be]

Thanks again, gizmo, for your encouraging words.

I would like to believe that as each day goes by, that I am becoming more aware of what and how I survived. I believe the growth in my healing and recovery is happening on a daily basis as I notice the difference in how I feel with others. It is like I'm no longer holding on to those false beliefs about myself that were handed down to me by my family of origin.

More layers, more pain, but oh, so much more freedom to just be me.

Have a very delightful day with your family!