Really Wanting To Leave Town

[Dana1010]

I was wondering if relocating has affected anyone's PTSD status for better or worse. I have really been wanting to leave town for a while but I just don't have the job prospects/connections, etc. There are so many parts of the city I live in that trigger me, I venture out of the house as little as possible. I have no social life because I won't run the risk of running into creeps from my past. I have recurring day dreams of lifting off in an airplane and watching the ground recede farther and farther away.

 

[shimmerz]

I get this all the time. A driving urge to leave - for anywhere and nowhere. I would need to know more about your situation.

I don't know what kind of creeps you are speaking about - so if getting away from @ssholes who continue to harass you then getting away is a maybe a good thing but can potentially be an isolating thing leaving you ultimately at greater risk.

Support does help a ton and leaving that behind is not necessarily a good thing.

Be careful though. I am very prone to and have acted out on fugue states. I believe the preamble of this for me is relocation idealization. The difference (to me) with a pre-fugue state is that there is no plan, just a general - I want to go - don't care where, don't care how I will take care of myself. This normally doesn't end well for anyone involved.

 

[Dana1010]

Support does help a ton and leaving that behind is not necessarily a good thing.

That's the thing, there's zero support in my life. I'm estranged from my family and I have no friends. I have virtually nothing to lose, so I feel like I'm suffering senselessly as I idle away here.

As far as the creeps, I don't have a stalker or anything, but there are seriously unpleasant people from my past who I just never want to see again. There might not be physical danger, but there would be triggering, and possibly humiliation and that "someone from your old life knows everyone in your new life" phenomenon. Yuck, I just don't want to deal with it.

I just wish I could figure out a way to get free rent somewhere for a few months while I search for a job.

 

[shimmerz]

So a challenge for you to see where you are at/ Can you plan where you want to be, search for a job and do a planned move? That would mean to me that it is your higher brain you are following, not your reptilian brain.

Just an idea....

 

[notsurewheretoturn]

I have relocated twice, once because of the PTSD and once because of my business.

The move for PTSD did help, albeit limitedly, as it was to somewhere I had never been before, just passed through on a train, but it was isolating until I found friends.

However, wherever you go, you will still be you, that will never change, so before you act rashly and move, consider if its you, your PTSD or the creeps from your past you want to get away from.

 

[Dana1010]

@shimmerz, In theory I could. It's just that searching for a job without a residence in the state would be practically impossible. I'd spend hundreds of dollars on airfare to do one interview - what? In this job market?

 

[Dana1010]

consider if its you, your PTSD or the creeps from your past you want to get away from.

I think it's all three, but one or two out of three is better than nothing. I know the old killjoy, wherever you go, you're still you, but you have to see the forest for the trees too. If I have all this "me-ness" reflected back at me everyday through familiar places and faces, that's certainly not helping me change or form new ideas about myself.

 

[shimmerz]

Yes, understood @Dana1010 I am not sure what type of work you do so can't help you there. I wonder if there is an option to skype. I think that even going through the process of looking for a job in the state that you want and planning wouldn't be a bad one even if logistics don't work out - just to see if this is fugue or upper brain. @notsurewheretoturn makes a super valid point as well. What we have inside of us follows us. If prospects for new friends.life are the basis for this then that is good but remember the PTSD will be with you no matter where you go.

It is hard, I know. I go through this over and over again. I am sorry and hope that you can find a peaceful place for you.

If I have all this "me-ness" reflected back at me everyday through familiar places and faces, that's certainly not helping me change or form new ideas about myself.

This is absolutely and completely valid.

 

[Reds]

Irelocated beginning of this year because I wanted to far from my abuser and moving has helped me. Though I have to admit the first few weeks were hard. I didn't know anyone and had no ssupport. But I'm glad I related

 

[Dana1010]

I am not sure what type of work you do so can't help you there. I wonder if there is an option to skype.

I have some college but did not take a degree. I guess my job is semi-professional, but it doesn't satisfy me at all, and I'd frankly like to get out of it. From what I understand about long distance hiring, employers will do it for highly sought after workers with very specialized skill sets. There are lots of people around who can do the work I do so I don't think anyone would take on the hassle of hiring a dime a dozen worker from accross the country.

Also, the problem of being isolated just doesn't apply to me. Frankly, I need to be alone most of the time these days to deal with the war going on inside me. And being in the town I'm in is one reason I'm friendless to begin with, as I explained above.

 

[shimmerz]

There are couch surfing sites, although I am not certain that is a safe option. That may help with space for free. I couldn't do it myself due to my reactions etc.

 

[notsurewheretoturn]

When I relocated I was lucky. My landlord knew I was new to the area and did everything he could to get me settled, including printing off the bus timetables so I could find my way around easily.

And the first night in my new home I drank a whole bottle of alcohol - on a completely empty stomach and very little sleep. Moving is never easy, whether it is a few miles or a few hundred.

I have no wish to put any dampers on your desire to move, trust me, I had the same desires and I understand them completely, I'm just trying to be practical here. Moving WILL be stressfull and it WILL affect your PTSD at the beginning, even more so if you are moving a distance, and there is little you can do about that apart from trying to remember that it IS the stress of moving thats causing it.

But having said all this, I really do hope it works out for you. I know what its like to have constant reminders everywhere you turn. Be strong and stay strong.