A Question For All Who Have Abuse Induced Ptsd

[RussH]

I have read a lot of post here on the forum, and I have had the honor of getting to know many of you. And one thing I have noticed is how many highly motivated, highly educated people we have here on the forum.

So, this is my question: How many of you, who have been abused, are now more educated, and more successful than your abusers?

 

[Lucycat]

What a question! And oh Yes!! Both in academic terms, and 'educated' in a more all-encompassing general way too.( I think)
Success is subjective so I will leave that one for now...

 

[digger]

Do you mean academically? If so then no, I am neither more educated, nor more professionally successful than my father (in fact I'm way below) and probably on a par with my mother. Based on my school records and IQ, I 'should' have done a lot better.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Academically I did not bother whatsoever when I was in Education. Since leaving an abusive childhood I have become successful in work life by my own strengths. This was resented by my SO, she had a full degree in English and I still earnt more than her per annum by using my noodle.

I lost everything as a direct result of my PTSD meltdown. Family, job and friends all gone.

Time to pull my bootstraps up, stride ahead again and succeed. However this time with the knowledge that I am a diagnosed PTSD sufferer.

Laurie

 

[RussH]

Based on my school records and IQ, I 'should' have done a lot better

Unfortunately this is not unusual for abuse victims.

 

[Bookoffee]

honor

Quickly reading this, I thought you wrote horror

How many of you, who have been abused, are now more educated, and more successful than your abusers?

My step-father died and I am not sure about my brother.

He did graduate from college which is more than me. But while he was in college and working there, he had women complain about him for sexually harassing them. I over heard him telling my other brother. He also moves around and switches jobs often. He is never in one place long enough to have a stable job. It makes one wonder what he is still doing after hearing what he told my brother and did to me.

My mother was an egg donor. That is all she accomplished.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Russ, I always appreciate your thoughts, support and unconditional love.

So my take is not 'con' on your pose but pro on my thoughts, ok? For me, to measure success based on the world's view of educational pursuits, ect would do me a disservice. Although, I have a few degrees, they actually become outmoded in 8 years as the world speeds forward in the commonly held educational standards unless they are PhD's and then, universities use the older ones often for dept headings to receive accreditation or research grants...like a show pony. That is of course the opinions of a few of my friends that have them and what I found when I hired professors within the college that I taught as well.

Example, one of my ditties is a graphic, fine arts degree...pre-computers lol. A friend who holds one in psych use to teach findings that now are no longer used in treatment...lobotomy and the benefits.

So for me success has a different measuring stick, and I do not compare it against my abusers...ever. In the KJV , it warns me (my take) in comparisons of such natures. I will not quote the scriptures or passage but quietly state, for me...that is not the way to consider success.

I do appreciate the opportunity to express among your thread and will support your question in a positive light as it is a consideration for many.:hug:

 

[RussH]

@Recovery4Me Thank you for your response, and it would be perfectly ok to quote scripture.
The reason I posted this question is simple: There are many highly educated, and or intelligent people on here. And I am just wondering is way back when we were abused, if our abusers saw something in us that scared them, and they tried to distroy us as a result of it. Ultimately, it is a way for us, the abused, to pehaps,see ourselves in a different light,than what our abusers would have us view ourselves,

I, too, do not measure success as the world measures it. My measurement of success is very simple. Am I living my life in such a manner that it makes other's lives better. Am I living my life in a manner that pleases God.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Am I living my life in such a manner that it makes other's lives better. Am I living my life in a manner that pleases God.

Humbly, that quote to me is your key basis...it was what they sought to destroy consciously or subconsciously in their own pain.

Take what you need and leave the rest.

 

[rightkindofme]

(I was raped by 12 people. I'm going to kind of speak of them as a semi-one person for ease.)
I am much more educated and successful. I was a high school teacher and I went to graduate school. My perps were all high school education tops. Maybe some college classes but no degrees. I am financially very stable. I went from a childhood in the bottom 5% of my country to being in the top 5% as an adult. I save and save and save in a way that other people find kind of weird. But I am never going to be homeless again.

I have friends, I have an intense, deep social network. I am quite well known in a lot of different communities on a state level, national level, and sometimes international level. (I have been in the bdsm community for 14 years and I've traveled a lot. I used to teach at national conventions. I'm well known.)

Now I'm working on making a name for myself as a writer. I've written two books and they have been well received.

To the best of my knowledge the people who hurt me are still living pathetic, small, angry lives. I have better things to do.

My long-term goal (once I have finished home schooling my kids) is to be the worlds foremost expert on incest. Gotta have goals.

The people who hurt me are not going to succeed in breaking me. I am bigger than that. It doesn't matter how much I shake or cry in the privacy of my garage every morning. I'm going to climb into my kick-a$$-and-take-names-panties and go on with my day.

 

[rightkindofme]

The reason I posted this question is simple: There are many highly educated, and or intelligent people on here. And I am just wondering is way back when we were abused, if our abusers saw something in us that scared them, and they tried to distroy us as a result of it. Ultimately, it is a way for us, the abused, to pehaps,see ourselves in a different light,than what our abusers would have us view ourselves,

I believe this is part of what happened for me. I am wicket smart. I challenge people. I am very comfortable with conflict and getting in peoples faces and I always have been. There have been many people who itched to take me down a peg. I've been told that exact phrase so many times in my life "you need to be taken down a peg" that I just about start punching when I hear it now. That is someone who is going to hurt me and I need to hurt them first in such a way that they cannot hit me again.

I will not be taken down by these pathetic tiny fractions of men. They are not worthy to destroy me.

 

[Bookoffee]

And I am just wondering is way back when we were abused, if our abusers saw something in us that scared them, and they tried to distroy us as a result of it.

I was a product of an affair. My brother and mother hated me for it. They took some of their anger out on me because of it.

Am I living my life in such a manner that it makes other's lives better. Am I living my life in a manner that pleases God.

I love your measurement. Sadly I had the fear of God beaten into me. I am not sure what to believe but I must say, I do love your God.