Do You Have A Conscience?

[nic]

Growing up with a mother who has little to no conscience and who lied ALL THE TIME, I find myself to be the exact opposite. My best friend says that my honesty is both my virtue and my vice. I can't lie. Don't get me wrong, I've tried. But no matter what, my conscience always gets the better of me and I spill my guts. I think, for me, part of it is that I'm so afraid I will be like my mom, so I do whatever I can to make sure I never end up like that.

 

[Grama-Herc]

I have noticed a common characteristic we all seem to have which I find interesting.

We all seem to have been fairly uncaring and selfish people with little to no concern for the feelings of others. Once we were diagnosed, medicated, treated, and psycho-analized we suddenly became nice caring people.

Now, don't anyone take offense to this. I may not be stating it exactly the right way, but I mean it in a good way. I am NOT being a smart ass.

Did we just suddenly develope a conscience or were we just finally brought to a state of awareness. Did the fog just finally clear? I use to be a bitch with no concern for others feelings! I'm not that person anymore.

I am just curious why it changed, that's all

 

[TLight]

I've always been over conscious of how other people feel, to the point where I was constantly being harassed by men, just wanted to be left alone, but didn't want to hurt any of their feelings.
My overdrive in this area has caused me great distress because others have taken advantage repeatedly.

The motto I still live by is "Do No Harm".......I guess because so much was done to me. Then when people do it to me, I'm just devastated because I'm under the silly belief that others live this way too..........You'd think I'd learn....

 

[Shoshin]

I have a finely tuned conscience, and am always concerned with not hurting others...or doing something unethical...but I have my weak moments...some occasional minor road rage, e.g.

My big struggle is not to focus on guilt. My friend at work jokingly calls me a martyr, always looking out for others but not myself.

I love what TLight said, "Do no harm." As a Buddhist I embrace this to the point of giving up my childhood passion of fishing and also choosing to live as a vegetarian. But there is more to doing no harm than just not eating meat. I think we can harm with words, silence, body language, and lots of other things...

How do we as people who know suffering conduct ourselves in a way that does not punish ourselves as we strive to get along with others and show them patience, kindness and respect?

And like Spirit of Now said, "How can I show myself the compassion I show others?"

 

[dlross]

Did we just suddenly develope a conscience or were we just finally brought to a state of awareness. Did the fog just finally clear? I use to be a bitch with no concern for others feelings! I'm not that person anymore.

I am just curious why it changed, that's all

Perhaps it is just that once we begin to have a little compassion and respect for ourselves, it is possible to offer them to others as well. :smile:

 

[Roo]

Conscience...yes...mine is a constant presence, a prickling in my mind. My concern with it lately is that when in the midst of a major depression (as right now), my ethical sense is ... dormant, passive. I don't give a damn -- inertia takes over even as I sense the clock ticking...time sliding by...moments wasted on being numb and stupefied.

 

[tude]

Nicolette,

I am not responsible for the reactions and behaviors of other people. I am only responsible for my own.

I do have a strong conscience. Admittedly, it is stronger in relation to others than to myself. I make an effort to treat others with respect. I do not say or do anything I will have to apologize for later.

When it directly affects me and is important enough for me to confront another person's behavior, I do so respectfully and gently. I have a habit of choosing my words wisely and it's not in my nature to emotionally react. There have been a couple times recently, I refrained from confronting the other person because I could not do so in a respectful manner. If I cannot say it nicely, then I don't say anything at all. Talk about feeling like a damn passivist. I'd rather feel like a passivist than react in the same ugly manner in which I am confronting. Respecting myself while respecting others isn't always easy.

How do we as people who know suffering conduct ourselves in a way that does not punish ourselves as we strive to get along with others and show them patience, kindness and respect?

Shoshin, my best guess is through awareness and practice.

Nicolette, I am curious as to why you posted this question. What was your reaction to the greed and hatred? How does it affect you? Did you respond to it and confront them at all? I am just curious...

tude

 

[Nicolette]

Nicolette, I am curious as to why you posted this question. What was your reaction to the greed and hatred? How does it affect you? Did you respond to it and confront them at all? I am just curious...

Hi Tude. They say curiosity killed the cat :wink:!

I posted as I am watching a situation where a person is hurting both children and other adults through what seems to be hatred and resentment. What intrigues me more is the person claims that their whole purpose is to act in the best interest of the children where they actually demonstrate money to be their focal point. It also is a situation which could be settled if the person concerned would look at the whole situation and the effect they are having versus going after just one more dollar.

From what I see, this person has no conscience as their judgement is clouded by greed and hatred. I don't think the person concerned can objectively sit on the other side of the fence and contemplate the seriousness of their actions and the hurt they are causing.

 

[upstream]

My overdrive in this area has caused me great distress because others have taken advantage repeatedly.

The motto I still live by is "Do No Harm".......I guess because so much was done to me. Then when people do it to me, I'm just devastated because I'm under the silly belief that others live this way too..........You'd think I'd learn....

TLight, sounds like we have a lot in common!

Nicolette, I'm so sorry about the situation. It's unfortunate that some people are not capable of seeing past their own needs and desires, or just don't care.

 

[tude]

Nicolette,

I am sorry you have to be witness to this situation. Thanks for sharing and curing my curiosity. I have always had a soft spot for kids, so I can imagine why this is difficult to deal with.

tude

 

[pandora]

There are some people that are in fact narcisitis...I don't know if it gets this bad. There are other syndromes where a person does not get born wi th natural instincts for being nice due to a problem in brain development....if caught at an early age and only if in an adult if you can make them beleive they might need some help. That is just my take on it. There are differend neurogbiological, and biochemical things that can be looked into as long as the person is willing...just my opinion of course.

 

[Portabella]

Nicolette, I too am sorry you are dealing with having to look in and see this and are helpless to change it. I just hope to God that its not super close to you, If it is a friend tell them what you are seeing, sometimes honesty helps. If not ignore it as best as you can because you cannot change the situation obviously and it will eat you up. If it is very close to you, Godspeed and I hope all works out in the long run. (((Hugs))))