New T Appointment Tomorrow :/

[Smile]

Quit with regular T month ago. Seeing trauma specialist tomorrow who deals extensively with EMDR.

So scared. My antennas have been on high alert as it is recently and add this... Ugh :( feeling so unsafe... Everywhere.

But that I'll survive... Will be over tomorrow... Hopefully. But I'm scared. Scared she'll call me a fraud. Scared she'll say emdr can't be done in me because of lack of memories. Scared I'll be told I'm just a lazy person. Scared because she's expensive and so probably will only be able to see her the once so what's the point. But I'm just at a loss. Don't have options. Right now feeling like money could probably bring me some peace

Anyway. Anyone have advice on what to say/ask her? I don't want to waste my money with chit chat and I'm not very good at asserting myself. Need to prepare somehow...

Thank you and hope your all well...

 

[risingsun]

Scared she'll say emdr can't be done in me because of lack of memories. Scared I'll be told I'm just a lazy person.

You can do this. Remember, they work for you and it is their job to make you feel absolutely comfortable. If there are red flags, you know the drill and you "will" be able to spot them. As far as money, I would bring it up right away as some therapists are willing to work it out with you. I waited to bring up the money issue with a therapist and regretted it later.

Remember, you are interviewing them not the other way around. Best of luck to you. You can do this and you will know right away whether there is a connection. Warmest, Rising Sun

 

[Smile]

Thank you for the reminder & kind words @risingsun and especially re the financial issue! I will read this b4 I go in to session :)

 

[greenleaf]

Good luck, I'm really glad you are taking this step! Good for you. Let us know how it goes!

They might want to work on grounding exercises and some such first? I'd think they'd want you to feel safe with them before doing emdr etc. so a good thing is they will want you to feel safe -- and feeling safe is a really nice thing.

 

[Seasounds]

First, you are a good person, who does the best they can, like all of us. (Let the laziness word fall away, if you can.)

Second, if you really want to try EMDR, talk to the therapist about making therapy affordable to you. Really, offer only what you could pay.

Yes, I agree with Rising Sun. Walk in, feeling, knowing, we are behind you, we believe in you, and you can be proud of yourself, too. You are interviewing the T. Do you like the T, do you relax in their presence? If the T isn't a good fit for you, there are other fish in the sea!

Regarding being relaxed, to add to grounding ideas, you could bring something-a scarf, a ring, a book you like, listen to calming music, etc, that connects you to peaceful experiences that you've had. Also, speaking slower can help, too.

Preparing, sounds like you may already be writing down or know what you want to say. Know that the therapist, for you and for them, may want to intentionally go slow at first; it helps to create a solid, unpressured relationship.

I want to say that the fee a therapist charges does not always reflect their skill level; their fee could be to impress collegeues, or to attract wealthy clients. Their fee could be the going rate, and if they charge less, their peers may scoff at them, for taking away their business.

 

[Smile]

Oh thank you! I will hold the courage you all have with me and try to convince myself that I have it too :)

 

[Lucycat]

Have you done all the phase one preparation work with another T for the EMDR? If not I would be surprised if you can start the EMDR yet. I had literally weeks of preparation. Unless yours is a very simple single incident trauma ( even without memory) I would expect it to be many sessions not just one.

You certainly need that frank discussion with this new T about your expectations of what can be achieved realistically on your budget.

 

[Smile]

As ashamed as I am, I always keep my word so here's the update: I've cancelled. She has an office almost 2 hrs away an than her "home office" which is only 20 min from me. So I obviously took that. But I was very uncomfortable meeting in her house. I mean, I would normally never wal into some strangers house. Especially someone who comes with no references, I only found her online. So I got here early to scope out the area. I think at this point I was just looking for excuses but I didn't love how her block looked although her house seemed sweet enough. Then I got to thinking about all this money I was about to spend that very well may go down the drain (if things didn't work out with her). AND she would be my first female T, another thing I'm concerned about although I do feel it's necessary at this point. Ugh :(

 

[Smile]

Have you done all the phase one preparation work with another T for the EMDR? If not I would be surprised if you can start the EMDR yet. I had literally weeks of preparation. Unless yours is a very simple single incident trauma ( even without memory) I would expect it to be many sessions not just one.

I have no idea? I'm totally new to EMDR. Never done before so don't know the process. But yes, I am concerned as to whether I'm mentally healthy enough for it... But I assume that's the T's job?

 

[Dana1010]

I just want to ask, do you have insurance? I mean shouldn't have to pay out of pocket if you can't afford it.

 

[Lucycat]

I have no idea? I'm totally new to EMDR. Never done before so don't know the process. But yes, I am concerned as to whether I'm mentally healthy enough for it... But I assume that's the T's job?

My concern is that you say you are signing up for a single session. Just one. Even if you have the perfect T how can they tell you what you need and deliver it all in one go? Yes it is her job, but ..... Then what if you are not following up ?

 

[Smile]

I just want to ask, do you have insurance? I mean shouldn't have to pay out of pocket if you can't afford it.

Yes but any T that is referred to me doesn't take insurance... And definitely not mine :(