I Think I Am Dying

[Little Flower]

Turns for the worst. Very depressed son. New drug laws. Oppression by the govt
I'm almost comatose. Sit for hours staring at nothing. My bf is afraid to leave me alone. I had vodka for breakfast. I don't want to feel anymore I quit talking. I mostly quit eating. I don't have any hope for a life
I feel like I'm dying

 

[shimmerz]

Been there done that. I am not making light of it by saying that so please trust in that. I wasn't suicidal per se but was passively wanting myself to slip away. I felt I had no hope and no energy to continue struggling. In between comatose states I see sawed between wanting to fight and not caring anymore.

Things are better. I have a quality of life again. What if, just what if, things change for you? It may not seem possible right now - as I am sure it has felt to many sufferers here on the board, but what if this feeling doesn't last?

 

[radicalgratitude]

It sounds like you are having a really long emotional flashback.

I feel like I'm dying

A traumatic event, whether it is truly life threatening or not, feels life threatening.

I'm almost comatose. Sit for hours staring at nothing

This is a normal reaction to trauma. At the time of the traumatic event, you may "play dead," which is an innate survival technique.

Perhaps current life events have triggered memories of past trauma and now you are mentally the age of an earlier traumatic event trying to cope with an adult situation.

One thing Anthony told me once is to physically stand, because it is harder to dissociate while you are standing. If you have to work on your computer, put it on a platform high enough that you can stand while working.

Look around you and pay attention to your five senses as you observe your environment.

Find a small rock and feel the texture in your hand and between your fingers.

 

[Little Flower]

Everything triggers from my past. My children have discovered their dad is an ass. Now he's babysitting my grandson. His uncle , my middle son, said he was yelling and screaming at my 8yo grandson. Just like used to him only I was there to intercede Now I can do nothing.

I'm gonna die from a broken heart

 

[Little Flower]

New drug law says I have to take pee test before I get my Xanax. So do I give up my my most helpful tool or the Xanax. Thanks a lot Hussain

 

[Justmehere]

:hug: Little flower - I'm so sorry for what you and your kids are enduring. So awful! :(

I know the vodka probably seems like it is helping you feel better and endure, but some of the pain you are experiencing may be due to the depressive effects of alcohol. It can make people feel very hopeless. This is a very difficult and painful situation, but there is actually much reason for hope.

One reason for hope: your kids know their father is an ass. It sounds like they are adults with their own kids now? They see the truth and they can take action to protect their kids. You can warn them, once you are better resourced and in a better state. The current situation is triggering the past, but it is also different than the past.

Not having anxiety meds that you were counting on having is probably hell. Why would the pee test mean that you don't get them?

 

[Little Flower]

Because I use mj The meds are wearing thin n mj helps me get on with my life. My grandsons dad is in Sweden. He can't help much. He's as scarred as his brother
What I do in the privacy of own home is now being invaded buy Hussainocare We now live in a socialist state. America has failed

 

[Little Flower]

. Going off meds. Going off mj. I know alcohol is depressant. It also makes forget how fn miserable I am

 

[Little Flower]

And it a "legal" drug according to the hypocrites in congress

 

[Little Flower]

HELP ME PLEASE.

 

[Justmehere]

Now may not be the time to withdraw from all meds without adequate support. You are clearly self medicating because you don't have enough support. Can you call your doctor and tell him what you are going through? Or call a crisis line?

If you are going off meds - forced or a choice - then you gotta do everything you can to replace it with other means to cope. Things like exercise - that gets natural opiates flowing in the body. Deep breathing techniques will help send a signal to your parasympathetic nervous system to calm down.

This will get better, but I know you are in hell right now. :hug:

 

[Little Flower]

Thank u justmehere. I only had one sip at breakfast. I don't want to get drunk. I want lay down and die