Intrusive Memories Vs Flashback

[KwanYingirl]

I am interested in hearing what you folks have to say about the difference between intrusive memories and flashbacks. I am struggling with this because I feel like my strategies to manage them are ineffective.
My therapist told me today that I have parts that have it together and parts that are really struggling. He wants the together me to talk to the suffering parts.
This is the first time he has brought up the existence of parts. My mood collapses and I usually end up under the covers trying to ride out the storm.

 

[Friday]

Hmmm... That complicates things.

I have really violent mood swings, having everything together and completely losing it are two of them, but I'm not DID. It's still all me. Just me with her shit together, and me having a meltdown.

For me, the difference between an intrusive memory & a flashback is how present I am in the now. Meaning, a memory can be running but I'm still here, no matter how upsetting the memory. That was then, and this is now. Cooking, shopping, talking, etc. In a flashback, I'm having a nightmare while awake. My body isn't sleep-paralyzed, although I may go stalk-still, or I may be moving. My mind is locked in the past. I'm not here, in the now. I'm back when. Mostly to Entirely.

 

[risingsun]

the difference between intrusive memories and flashbacks.

I've wondered the same thing. Because an intrusive memory can certainly put you back in a time/place and sometimes I am there for quite some time mentally.

 

[Nyssa]

I'm not sure.

To me, the intrusive memory definitely feels like it's coming from the inside. On the contrary, the flashback looks like it's being imposed from the outside world.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I feel like the instructive memories are harder to cope with because they don't come on with a Big Bang like a flashback. For me it's more insidious and it takes me more time to recover. But what are some tactics that you've used to keep them away?

 

[Seasounds]

difference between intrusive memories and flashbacks

There is a continuum, I think. Also, officially, there is a DSM code distinction-need to look up. Intrusive thoughts and memories occur when I am trying to do an activity, and get interference, from hearing my parents critical voices in my head, or remembering an event, that distracts me. This process has a limitation, where I am able to continue to relate to my circumstances.

A flashback, is a fuller mindbody experience; it pulls me out of present time, and, to varying degrees, disables me from effectively functioning, where I may crawl under the covers.
As I have worked on traumas, I do notice a progression of flashbacks becoming less global, and decreasing to intrusive thoughts.

I am struggling with this because I feel like my strategies to manage them are ineffective.

I find managing my symptoms/triggers, is up and down. During the down phase, like you, I ask myself, or others, what more I can do, what other things can I try? What in particular, is hard to manage? Perhaps the forum members can help?

My therapist told me today that I have parts that have it together and parts that are really struggling. He wants the together me to talk to the suffering parts.

First, to be indignant on your behalf, your therapist sounds like they were 'putting a task on you' that you and your T may better share, as a goal in therapy. Perhaps, T is a little frustrated-allowed; but turn it into a creative learning project, with your client.

I certainly, also, respect, as a client, that i do work on my own, so that therapy flows easier. There are some things us clients need to do, to support our progress. There are some things, like making a decision to live, that only we can make.

From all that I know of you, you are smart, conscientious, and kind. Healing takes a village, and patience.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Instructive memories and flashback. Some for me are semi sleep, and then roll through my day. From sleep flashback and residual?

 

[Nyssa]

I agree, they are more insidious.

Sometimes, I'm not even aware of all the crappy memories polluting my mind. Maybe, those shouldn't be called intrusive memories, as I am not conscious of them. But they defintely alter my mood. So for those, the first step is to realize what is going on at the back of my mind.

More often than not, I tend to fuel the memories with my own thoughts, which are themselves fueled by various emotions and unmet needs. So I work on identifying those. Then I try to adress the needs and process the emotions. The risk here is to get stuck in the "Oh my god my past is so terrible, there is no way I am going to recover, I might as well stop trying". I'm not so good at staying away from that destructive behaviour without being avoidant. I'm working on it right now.

Meditation helps to focus. Work, too. Or sports. Or calm walks in nature. Or partying with friends. Anything helping me to remain in my present life while trying to process what can be processed.

What have you tried?

 

[scout86]

@KwanYingirl , when your T was talking about "parts" are you sure he meant that in the DID sense of the word? My T talks about "parts" fairly often, even about holding conversations with and among them, but he means it in the sense of "parts of your personality" that are there all the time and may be more or less noticeable and apparent, not "parts" as in the sense of different identities that are more or less cut off from each other.

What I think of as intrusive memories are things that I identify as memories, I'm aware that they are memories, but they show up unlooked for and then seem to get stuck and keep just going around in my head and I can't totally change the subject. Sometimes some little thing brings them up. A tone of voice, a particular phrase, a particular sight or smell the reminds me of something else.

What I think of as a flashback is usually kind of dramatic. For example, a few months ago, I was walking in a field, near a grove of pine trees. When I got close enough to the trees that I could smell them, I suddenly realized that those trees looked exactly like a pine grove I had seen in another time and place. Let's just say it was a time and place I have no desire to return to. It turns out, there are pine trees there, but they are nothing like what I saw. What I saw, and smelled, was a representation of a different time and place, that exists in my head, but was made to appear "real" in that moment. As another example, I have a client who served in Iraq. A friend of his got lit on fire and he was the first person there to try to extinguish the flames. He gave me a VERY detailed description. I'll spare you all that. But, the fire was started with diesel fuel and there was a strong smell of that at the scene. After this guy got home, he bought a diesel pickup truck. The first time he put fuel in it, all of a sudden that friend was right there in front of him, just like he was really there, only he knew, for sure, that couldn't be. (The guy lived, by the way.) Those are what I think of when I think of flashbacks. You "flash back" to a different time and place..

It would make sense, I guess, that this stuff exists on some kind of continuum. I've seen "emotional flashbacks" mentioned too. I'm not real clear on exactly what those are. Maybe you experience an emotion NOW that was actually felt THEN?

But what are some tactics that you've used to keep them away?

I wonder if you CAN keep them away. Maybe you just have to learn to recognize them and deal with them.
.

 

[TonyG]

I have intrusive memories all the time and it's just the image of the traumatic event, Flashbacks take me there and I relive the event, mostly as dreams, when I wake up I don't know if I am in the present or the past, The first think I do is look at my hands because they where covered in blood, I was also lying on the laundry floor when I woke, it takes me ten minutes to relise I am safe and in my bed, the only thing I still have the taste in my mouth and I can smell the what I could that day.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@scout86 I don't know why he just suddenly after a year would tell me I have parts that are together and parts that struggle. When I go to therapy, I almost always try to present myself as being together even if I'm saying I'm shattered and can pick up a shard and see myself in it. I drift in and out of consciousness I think that he notices I lose my place in conversation and can't recall what I was talking about.
I'm wondering if sehow I'm triggered and then these flashes of memories float through my mind and then freeze. I can't make the picture move. I experience flashbacks like you describe. And I do believe I have emotional flashbacks that leave me unhinged.
I just feel like I'm at a crossroad here. One foot in a sane world and then being sucked into blackness so black I can't move a muscle and try to breathe even though the blackness is smothering me. This is a flashback to being raped with a pillow over my face. I just want to do whatever will make it stop. Until recently, I would describe 'her' motors and was adamant that it was 'not me'.
Reiki has helped extinguish some of my fear so that I can sometimes refer to her as me. Not DID I hope but I'm kind of worried that's what he's saying.
I keep myself in a cocoon out of danger so I hope. Doesn't always work. For instance, I saw the movie 'Wild' last weekend. It's a true story of a woman who hikes the Pacific Coast Trail. Several times she was in danger of being assaulted and I can't shake it off because it was exactly what happened to me-except she got away-I didn't. I've been ruminating about it for a few days. Why can't I just will myself to ignore it? No matter what I'm doing, that woods scene drifts into my minds eye. So I guess this is an intrusive memory as opposed to a flashback because the images are not wanted.
I wish I could figure out how to stop these. EMDR? Hypnosis?

 

[KwanYingirl]

@Nyssa I hate to admit how many years I've been in therapy and how far I still have to go. First, I had to get sober, that took a few years I have been sober for 23 years. Then I had two kids, so that took awhile. My son is dyslexic and my energies were spent helping him. Then I got poisened at work and was deathly sick for five years. Then I had to make a new career and that took awhile. Anxiety and depression have followed me for years.
But now my business is stable, my children are grown, and it is time to face my PTSD. I have a trauma therapist I see weekly. I take yoga and get reiki for my mind-body connection, I read books on Buddhism and find it very comforting. I have a history of cutting and I'm happy to say that I don't do that anymore despite wanting to when my stress is extreme. I practice DBT skills-very helpful. I think that about covers what I've tried. Oh, and best of all, I joined this forum!!! Gratitude for that.