Is Your Worst Trigger When A Loved One Yells At, And Blames You?

[illusionist]

Being yelled at is a huge trigger for me....blame not quite so much. Luckily I have only come across it once in my relationship with my partner. I do tend to be very aware of his body language, goes back to always having to watch the mood of my foster parents. Aggression in the body language ie banging things about, stomping across the room in frustration triggers me just as much as being verbally shouted at.....as this was normal behaviour before the beatings as a kid. It does not have to be directed at me....he can be frustrated at trying to fix something, or normal frustrations people have, but they have the same effect.

 

[Ronin]

No, nowhere near the land of worst triggers, and not in the land of major triggers either, I don't think.

When we're conversing heatedly like that, it means we're both essentially alright: breathing, stable, communicating, able to communicate, of sound mind enough to know what the hell is bothering us, not in a dangerous situation & company, safe to exchange something so deeply emotional. It means we're good.

 

[Dana1010]

Loved one?

 

[Karen12]

I couldn't be around anyone who yelled, certainly not if they yelled at me. That's a deal breaker. Does it trigger me? A little but it's also just totally inappropriate.

 

[Friday]

Ditto @Kaia !!!

 

[shimmerz]

Idk if this is a help at all but I took a free online course (no affiliation here) called Think Again: How to Reason and Argue. I found it at Coursera and it has a pretty fun spin to it which helped me understand Arguments in a non threatening way. Anyways, it originates from Duke University but it really helped me put into the right perspective what an Argument is in the adult world.

 

[shimmerz]

Loved one?

Smart. I missed this somehow. May I ask the OP if it is only yelling from a loved one? Luckily for me I have trained my loved ones not to yell. Interestingly enough I am fine if someone yells at me in type. I don't freeze. Same with on a phone. However, if they are in front of me and yell that is a whole different game for me. I think it is about their eyes. Angry eyes terrify me.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Are you talking about the present of the past? Is this person still in your life? If so, WHY? This behavior is unacceptable. But no, its not my worst trigger, not by far.