I am pissed off.
I know I can deal with (most of) my triggers if I really want to. I have the toolkit now. I know what to do now.
And instead I choose to enable them because I feel threatened and not secure enough with my new self, my actual self.
Instead I choose to feel sorry for myself and indulge in the thought of "this is so unfair, all of this is happening to me".
To be honest, I come across as a spoiled child. A child who just wants to whine instead of growing up. Because whining is easier.
I have realized that I am my own enabler. I can change NOW. I need to face it. :banghead: