I Just Found Out My Fiance Didn't Get Me A V Day Card Even Though He Had Plenty Of Time

[Kristina25]

Ok so I thought I would give him the benefit of the doubt that he could get me a Valentine's Day card without having to be reminded. But I guess not because I asked him tonight because Monday is his day off and it's the last time I get to see him before his next day off which is after Valentine's Day if he got me a Valentine's Day card and he said no. And he didn't even seem sorry. He just said he forgot. Um excuse me how do you forget the biggest couples holiday there is and forget to get your Fiance a Valentine's Day card. I even have to help him order the Edible Arrangements thing that I want tomorrow afternoon or Monday. Not only that but the Valentine's Day last year he got me a card that says "I still do" on the front. Which makes no sense to me because we aren't married. But the year before last Valentine's Day he got me the same card that says "I still do". He at first said he would get me a V Day card and give it to me after Valentine's Day when I see him on his next day off. But I'm sorry that is tacky and I told him that. He said he would mail it to me which is also tacky. You are supposed to give your Valentine's Day stuff to your Significant other in person, not through the mail. Especially when you live right down the street from them. Like seriously, why didn't he get me a V Day card like 3 or 4 weeks ago like I did. I am really mad. And this is actually triggering a lot of things in me. It makes me feel like he doesn't even really love me. It's obvious I love him since I got him a Valentine's Day card 3-4 weeks ago. But it is very apparent that he doesn't love me as much as he says he does or he would have gotten me a card without me having to tell him.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Um seriously???????????????

 

[Kristina25]

Um seriously???????????????

Yes Um seriously. I take Valentine's Day very seriously.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Well better dump him then

 

[anthony]

Sorry to hear. Me personally, I don't take valentines days seriously... I think it's a waste of space nonsense day myself. I accept everyone has their own opinion on that though, and for you it's obviously more personal.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

You say you take Valentines day seriously, well what about the other 363 days in a year, don't you take them just as serious. Valentines day is a commercial day and nothing more, I should know and no I am not prepared to share why because for me now Valentines day is to be perfectly honest a day of the year I would rather forget.

Oh and one other thing @Kristina25 I have been following your other threads and wondered if I may get a reasonable reply to this post seeing as I and many others on this forum have asked numerous questions of you which you appear to refuse to answer.

You say you love him and that clearly if Valentines day means so much to you that love must run deep, how come you want to marry him so that he can look after you and you can then justify not giving back in return.

Just Curious

 

[Kristina25]

@Santa_Laurie Um, I got him a Valentine's Day card 3-4 weeks ago. Because apparently I'm the only one that gives a shit about the other person in this relationship.

 

[Queen Boudica]

This is not serious is it? Look you don't tell your boyfriend to get you a valentine card that is up to him. If he is not into Valentines it has nothing to do with loving you or not. You don't order an edible present for yourself and expect him to pay for you. And you don't get MAD because he has not got you a card yet. Last year he got you one and it wasn't good enough, hardly surprising he hasn't got you one this year and doesn't want to deliver it to you in person. Sound like you are already mad with him, so why would he even go there?

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Please do not insult my intelligence with an answer like that I am a grown man.

Oh and if you really believe he doesn't give a *shit* then sorry @Lizio has already addressed that issue, Leave him.

 

[digger]

Not only that but the Valentine's Day last year he got me a card that says "I still do" on the front. Which makes no sense to me because we aren't married. But the year before last Valentine's Day he got me the same card that says "I still do".

So you've been with him a couple of years at least? But this isn't the boyfriend who had PTSD last year?

He has Link Removed and he will never open up to me about anything.

And I never said my current boyfriend had PTSD. My ex boyfriend has

If this is the guy that you are wanting to spend the rest of your life with and are expecting to look after you and do everything for you for the rest of your life, as you suggested in your post yesterday, then you maybe need to work on compromise a bit. Valentine's day is important to you, but it clearly isn't as important to him. Maybe he feels he shows his love in other ways than spending money on a card, that, given the previous years experiences with giving you cards, won't actually be appreciated by you anyway because it will be the 'wrong' card!

He at first said he would get me a V Day card and give it to me after Valentine's Day when I see him on his next day off. But I'm sorry that is tacky and I told him that.

He said he would mail it to me which is also tacky

I really don't understand why these things are tacky. He realised it was more important to you and tried to come up with alternatives to make you happy?

apparently I'm the only one that gives a shit about the other person in this relationship.

Based on buying a card? What about all the things he does for you year round and has said he is prepared to do for you once you are married? Does any of that count, or is his love only measurable by what he does or doesn't get right on one day?

 

[Queen Boudica]

Because apparently I'm the only one that gives a shit about the other person in this relationship.

Buying someone a valentines card 3-4 weeks before valentines day is not an indication of love. Being overly critical and ordering him about, that says a lot about the relationship and I'm afraid it shows you are not treating him with very much respect.

 

[sun seeker]

If you are seriously planning on marrying this man, you need to re-evaluate what you believe about the meaning of love. When you love someone, you accept some give and take. Your partner won't always do exactly what you want. That isn't his job. Love means you want the best for the other person, not for them to cater to you. Him not getting you a card doesn't say he doesn't love you. It says he doesn't feel the same way about Valentine's Day. Nothing to do with loving you or not. What you are expressing isn't love. It's insecurity. It's okay to feel that. It isn't okay to project it onto him.

Your statement that you're the only person who gives a shit about the other doesn't jive with your insistence in another thread that you expect him to provide for you and (I paraphrase here) basically do everything for you for the rest of his life.