General Time To Take Care Of Myself

[Glara]

@Sighs he wouldn't kill himself over me, but he might kill himself if this next cat dies. The cat that previously died is what triggered this episode. If he ever notices I'm "gone", or that I've changed, he may use that as excuse to self pity.

I don't like talking that way, and I didn't used to see it that way. I'm sure he has ptsd and I know there's a lot I don't know or understand. But he has to take some responsibility for his problems and his actions.

I do feel sad and I do think about him, but I felt sooooo bad this weekend and so deceived. Even if it is somehow due to ptsd and isolation he still has to find a way to tell me. If he can't do that, what do we really have? He doesn't know anything about my life at this point. I can't remember when the last time was we actually spoke, I think when I last visited. Again, maybe ptsd? It doesn't really matter.

 

[Sweetpea76]

he wouldn't kill himself over me, but he might kill himself if this next cat dies

Not to be mean, but let his cat take care of him... especially if he is using the same sick cat as an excuse to check himself out of the hospital. @Glara you have made a herculean effort to love and support him and he blew it, PTSD or not. And I agree with @Sighs, there is never going to be the right time to talk to him about ending it. You sound like you ended it for yourself already, and that is all that matters.

 

[Shadowofdoubt]

Just thinking of you. :hug:

 

[Glara]

Thanks @Shadowofdoubt! He's texting and then not responding. Maybe it is just the ptsd. I don't know what to think. What I do know is that I'm going away next week and I'm so excited to get out of the cold! I'm really doing much better. Worked 12 hours today and I'm not wiped out. I slept well last night for the first time in a while. I think going tanning has actually helped , but mostly just letting go emotionally. I feel like my old self again.

 

[Shadowofdoubt]

Wish I could go with you Glara! I start intensive out patient therapy next week, have you heard anything more about counseling?

 

[Sighs]

Yay! So pleased to hear the old Glara is re-emerging!

 

[Glara]

Counselor never responded. I'll worry about that when I get back. I'm going to a Pampered Chef party tomorrow. It's the type of thing I usually avoid, but it'll be a good social environment where there's something to focus on besides small talk. And maybe meet some new people. On Sunday I have to pack and do my nails. I also have to go tanning both days, so I'll be forced to be busy. Then 2 works days. On Wed I fly away to someplace warm! Well hopefully, I'm going to Florida and it's even been cold down there! It's only for 3 nights, but it'll be a nice little break.

 

[still_i_rise]

Take care of YOU!!!!
Have a great time :)