What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

[Vorzha]

Thinking of Cragger's post...
I did try to get/keep a job, and after collapsing in the snow, in front of an oncoming car I realised that what the world might think of as a simple thing might not be so simple for me.

You can tell people that you can't sleep, that you can't eat (if you can afford it), but they can't even seem to understand. Go figure.

 

[Irton Pike]

i just had an appointment with occupational health during which I got


"its time to move on"

" you shouldn't dwell on the past"

and

"so what are you going to do?"

the last one about 15 times. after 45 minutes i blew up some!

nightmare of a day.

 

[Kunoichi]

Junebug:

now that i read it, it kind of made me laugh. and yes, made me realize more about how it wasn't my fault and even though i wanted to run, I coudn't.

*******

"Well...shit happens."

Ummmm yea, in the toilet. That's where it happens. But mine was more than a bowel movement, thank you very much.

 

[Tinyflame]

"Don't be ridiculous- you can only get raped if they have a gun to your head."

or,
- 'nothing' at all, not a word.

 

[Kunoichi]

"Don't be ridiculous- you can only get raped if they have a gun to your head."

or,
- 'nothing' at all, not a word.

Wow June, I'd prolly be cursing at them...man that would make me beyond livid...the nerve of some people!

 

[Tinyflame]

If you can believe it, -the first one was from a normally very wise and empathetic female relative.

 

[Kunoichi]

If you can believe it, -the first one was from a normally very wise and empathetic female relative.

psh yea i can understand that...one of mine who i always considered the same said:

"Well its just borderline what you went through" because it wasn't a stranger and because I didn't physically fight back due to terror and freezing.

 

[Kunoichi]

"at least you haven't been through ________ (insert)"

I can't even explain how that is to hear that!

 

[Irton Pike]

I get


"but you weren't even badly injured"

and

"its not like you were in the army with someone shooting at you"

 

[Kunoichi]

aww pike...sorry hun :(

"So....?"

SO? What do you mean so? Like "oh its not big deal?!" LIke HELL it isn't!

 

[secretstars]

oh, how about, 'god, what DOESN'T trigger you?'

that was said to my friend with PTSD once!!

 

[jeapea]

I feel mostly pity for the people who say what they shouldn't say to me. They haven't lost their innocence. They are naive. They are ignorant. Our trauma brought us 'out' of the world they still live in. A world they're stuck in. Until they experience what we have. I wouldn't want that for anyone. Not really.

What angers me is their lack of empathy or compassion. And the substitutes they use for those virtues. And I ask myself... did I used to be like that? I hope not.

Of course... my first trauma happened when I was 5 months old, so I doubt I have ever been without compassion or empathy. I have spent all of my lifetime "aware".
I don't know any other way to be. This IS the way I am.

I have heard all of these remarks, statements, idiotic comments, and the worst is to allow someone to antagonize me with their insensitive cruelty. My wolf dog taught me something about mean people because she is so sensitive. If I just walk away from them... out of earshot... out of reach... I don't have to get hurt by what they say or do. Maybe someone else will be more kind to me. That's all I hope for. And accept my grief and losses along the way. I can't 'fix them'. And I don't need to be 'fixed'.

My only answer when I hear how strong I am... and 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger' is this: yes, you're right, maybe it didn't kill me... but at times it made me wish it had. I don't know how to explain that to very many people so they could understand it.