Did My Therapist Mishandle My Flashback?

[SeaQuel]

I went into a flashback during therapy yesterday (not uncommon for me), actually right as we were ending the session. My therapist started to yell at me to come back into the room, or at least it seemed that she was yelling. She was speaking very loudly and very forcefully, much more so than any time in the past.

This went on for a while as she tried different things to bring me out of it. At one point she was hovering over me, way too close to me, and speaking in a very harsh tone.

She wouldn't let me leave until she knew I was safe, but I didn't feel safe with her, and I always feel safe with her. I felt like she hated me and was going to hurt me.

She usually speaks very firmly, and I can handle that just fine. That strong, measured and firm tone works for me. But the yelling yesterday not so. It didn't feel safe, like she didn't want to deal with this again and was taking her frustration out on me.

Am I just being overly sensitive or do you think she was out of line?

 

[The Albatross]

No she didn't. Was it what you wanted/needed? Nope but the effort was there... what you feel is irrelevant. It seems as though you have a low tolerance threshold (I did) for others.

I vote for oversensitive and questionable perception of the event.

 

[anonymous]

Naaaah,

You said she tried for quite awhile to bring you out of it, so I'm guessing that she felt like she had to up the ante in order to bring you out of it, and she made the judgment to raise her voice as part of that attempt.

In the future tell her that when you go into a flashback, yelling and raising voices doesn't help. She will be glad to get this feedback from you.

 

[SeaQuel]

You said she tried for quite awhile to bring you out of it, so I'm guessing that she felt like she had to up the ante in order to bring you out of it,

There was no upping of ante. She was consistently harsh from the very beginning interspersed with being kind (giving me something to drink etc). It felt so confusing.

tell her that when you go into a flashback, yelling and raising voices doesn't help. She will be glad to get this feedback from you.

I'll try to.

 

[Kefira]

I would try to talk to her about the incident. People will need different things. You also state it was at the end of the session- perhaps she had some of her own stress crop up that caused her to be a bit more harsh than she otherwise would be in an attempt to pull you out of it more quickly. If that's what happened it's not ideal but is at least understandable.

Ultimately you might benefit from knowing what her reasoning was for being as forceful as she was and she would certainly benefit from your feedback on how you viewed this and what could be improved next time. But no, I don't think she 'mishandled' it.

 

[The Albatross]

I got nowhere in therapy til I could get out of my own perceptual stuff. Harsh is a perception... for me that was not necessarily tantamount to an honest assessment or characterization until could get enough levity to get the ability to pause before reacting or being judgmental. Not saying that's you in particular... just what happened to me.

 

[Deleted member 24866]

Some counselors are better for certain types of people than others, and bad counselors certainly do exist. Remember that they are human too, I know of at least one that actually committed suicide. Anyhow try to communicate first and if its not a good fit- find a different one. That is just my opinion. I also believe our self work is the most critical and empowering thing we can do.

 

[anonymous]

This went on for a while as she tried different things to bring me out of it.

At one point she was hovering over me, way too close to me, and speaking in a very harsh tone.

There was no upping of ante. She was consistently harsh from the very beginning

Are you were sure that you were having a flashback if you were completely aware of your surroundings and what your therapist was doing?

 

[SeaQuel]

You also state it was at the end of the session- perhaps she had some of her own stress crop up that caused her to be a bit more harsh than she otherwise would be in an attempt to pull you out of it more quickly

I was her last appointment for the day. I feel terrible I kept her there so late. I wanted to leave, she wouldn't let me.

Are you were sure that you were having a flashback if you were completely aware of your surroundings and what your therapist was doing?

No, I'm not. My therapist said that's what I had experienced. I'm always really confused about my symptoms.

There was a specific memory that I flashed back to as I was talking about something, but after that, I think it was more dissociation. I was aware of what was happening on a certain level, but I couldn't move or talk. I don't really know, I wish I did. I think her yelling at me made it worse.

 

[desiderata310]

Flashbacks, it seems, are hard on the therapist too.
My therapist has admitted that he feels impotent when I have a flashback. I don't know he's there or if I do, it's very confusing and the flashback has my almost full attention. I almost know he's there but breaking out of it to hear what he's saying is ... it's hard.

He says that as I start coming back down out of it, there are times that his presence triggers me back into it so he sometimes leaves and stands outside to allow me to come back out and just checks on me. He leaves his dog in there with me.

He's admitted that he doesn't know what to do for me other than let me ride it out and try to let me know he's there. It's kind of hard to think about.

 

[Kefira]

He's admitted that he doesn't know what to do for me other than let me ride it out and try to let me know he's there. It's kind of hard to think about.

I wonder if there is some sort of standard guidance besides "do your best to make sure the client doesn't harm themselves or you". I mean, honestly there's not a whole lot to be done that's going to be reliably helpful.

I feel terrible I kept her there so late. I wanted to leave, she wouldn't let me.

I didn't mean to imply that you should feel guilty. Quite the opposite- part of her job is to make sure that you're safe to leave. But timing of these things sometimes is not the best, and it's possible she was also stressed. That might be something that comes up when you address it with her.

 

[desiderata310]

I wonder if there is some sort of standard guidance besides "do your best to make sure the client doesn't harm themselves or you". I mean, honestly there's not a whole lot to be done that's going to be reliably helpful

I think for my therapist at least, he's used to being able to use touch as a grounding technique. We both know that this would be bad for me. He CAN'T touch me. I think we've shook hands once and high fived once.

He's wanted very badly to take my hand and place it on the dog but is was afraid that this would be a bad move in the midst of a flashback