What Do You Do To Maintain Sobriety?

[rainy_daze]

I'm interested in what things people do to stay sober from any substances they may have used to self-medicate.

I've read a lot of the threads about alcoholism. I see there are people here who still use substances to get through rough patches. I found myself being tempted to get drunk recently, and although I resisted, it has been a rough time not to try to numb some bad feelings. I'm not even an alcoholic, but I've drank myself into oblivion many years ago.

So, all responses to the title question and the topic of staying away from using any substances are appreciated :tup:.

 

[anthony]

I taught myself to try and use it in moderation, to put it simple. Yes, at times I still binge with it, especially if having a party or such, where we're having drinks and socialising. Mind you... it doesn't take much nowadays due to lack of drinking. There are still times I will have a scotch, rum or beer, just to help calm me / chill myself out. But I set the limit before I begin, typically.

I had three options when my drinking was out of control:

1. Keep going the way I was and alcoholic death was imminent,
2. Stop using it completely,
3. Teach myself to use in moderation.

I chose option 3, because I like to be social with a drink and chill out with others.

Everyone has their own response, and I'm not sure much exists outside of those three choices when it comes to alcohol.

For me, it was to counter exactly what you stated, about getting drunk to get through a rough patch. I would rather have a drink or two, not get drunk. Yes, I have still gotten drunk when in a rough patch whilst socialising, but the majority of times I will use in moderation.

What is your goal?

For me, my experience, I view alcohol as the lesser of evils when compared to pharmaceuticals.

 

[rainy_daze]

I'm not sure I can drink alcohol in moderation. One glass of wine makes me want a whole bottle.

My current goal is to continue not using alcohol or cannabis as a crutch. Sadly, I prefer both to pharmaceuticals @anthony . I started the thread because I had a few days recently where I wanted to be numb to avoid nasty feelings. I'm not sure if I had self medicated that it would have made things better.

I do like the sound of option 3, if I could get myself to that stage. For example, I plan on having a couple of glasses of wine on Christmas day, which is a long time away.

And while I'm being very honest with myself, I'd like to stay away from painkillers. My chronic pain is reaching an all time high again because I'm doing a lot more, and while I can afford to take my prescribed painkiller now and again, I don't want to be reliant on it. I want to manage my life with less medication, be that booze or drugs.

 

[Chava]

I go to a chosen AA meeting every week...really like those women, Havent felt like drinking for over 20 years

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Curious, is it a matter of craving alcohol? Or just numbing feelings?

 

[ghotiff]

There are lots of websites that list alternative activities to drinking. Maybe you will get some ideas there.

I drink less when it's lower alcohol content per volume, and less again if I have something to keep my hands busy, eg knitting.

Hope that helps. Great thread.

 

[joeylittle]

My current goal is to continue not using alcohol or cannabis as a crutch. Sadly, I prefer both to pharmaceuticals

Will it help you if you acknowledge that alcohol and cannabis are also both drugs?

This is actually what helped me. Now, I'm a person who needs medication. So, I was self-medicating with alcohol very severely, and when I started anti-depressants at first it was easy to not drink because it's not good to mix the two. But I started missing social drinking. I tried to re-introduce it to my life, but the serious level of hangover that I'd have in the morning made it really not worth it.

It's all stuff we use for various reasons. At this point, I'm fine accepting that I need an ativan every once in a great while in order to deal with anxiety or to help my mind ease up. And (for me), pharmaceuticals have less negative after-effects.

 

[Casey_03]

I read horror stories about alcoholism on AA forums. It really helps to remind yourself how bad things can get. And reading about what other people have lost because they mistakenly thought they could handle it .... well it's a pretty good reminder that it's just not worth it.

 

[Deleted member 29899]

I struggled with this for years. What did I do? I cried. A lot. I journaled. I went to AA even though no one there thought I was an alcoholic (but everyone I knew knew I had a problem). it got to the point where I drank daily. Many black outs, etc.
I didn't realize til many years later that I was not alcoholic, I was only drinking to black out the trauma. I had NO bad memories or flashbacks until I quit drinking, so had I not quit drinking I could never have started to grow.... And I did grow.
I had to absolutely CONVINCE myself that to drink was to die. And I did convince myself. It saved my life. That was 25 years ago.
Soooooo glad I don't abuse alcohol anymore... Soooo glad I will never be hungover and feel that ugly drinking remorse.
Or perhaps tell yourself that to drink is to stop growth?

 

[Deleted member 29899]

I'd like to add that the pain (of everything or anything) was always worse with alcohol in my life. Since that time many years ago that I quit and actually started to deal with life, address things, get counselling, I never ever feel like drinking.
I'm in really bad shape right now with depression and PTSD but will always be grateful that I don't turn to substances because they only makes things worse, physically,mentally and spiritually even when a person doesn't realize it.

 

[Friday]

what things people do to stay sober from any substances they may have used to self-medicate.

Be in a place I don't need to medicate.

Which may sound flippant, but it's huge. It means I'm managing my symptoms and my stress. It also means I may want to, but don't need to. In either case, it all comes down to making a decision.

I've both used and abused many things the first time I was bad off. It was part of my oblivion-seeking. And it wasn't limited to drugs/alcohol. For me, it's not the substance or the activity that is the thing. It's the oblivion they provide. The relief from my symptoms.

The above? It means that I'm not an addict/alcoholic in the disease model, sense. I have a separate issue I'm dealing with, and it's dealing with that issue (PTSD) that let's me both drink/use, or not, as I choose. Not as simple as that exactly, it was a learned thing. That process used the exact same tools, as quitting. I'm one of the people who went back to using in moderation.

One of my favorite quotes, is both on this issue, and can be looked at either way:

"It is easier to exclude harmful passions than to rule them, and to deny them admittance than to control them after they have been admitted."
- Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD)

So do I need an EasyButton? And if so, where? And what is it worth to me? Those answers change depending on how I'm doing. And so I make a decision. Am I ruling or excluding? If I can't exercise the self control needed to ________ (drink as I choose, not kill my ex, not run myself into the ground, etc.) then I use the easy button. I don't drink. I don't go somewhere I know my ex will be. I don't go running. If I've got self control? Then I have a beer. Or go to my son's baseball game. Or I tie on my trainers and hit the pavement.

 

[Care Bear]

@rainy_daze My pattern of alcohol usage sounds similar to yours. I have successfully not used alcohol to self-medicate for a long time now. Here are my tactics:

1. Just thinking of my mom, who drank alone every night. I don't want to be like she was.
2. Having a partner who is very intolerant of me drinking at all (it's actually annoying at times, lol)
3. Simply not buying alcohol (not having it around is a huge deterrent because who wants to go to a store when you're depressed?)
4. The severe hangovers that I now have.

If I want to enjoy wine, I enjoy a glass in a restaurant or buy one of the small bottles to share with someone. Otherwise, consumption for pleasure can turn into something darker. When I am in a dark mood, my new default is to browse the internet mindlessly for hours. Harmless, but makes me feel like a loser. I have gone out of my way to prepare some nice distracting activities (books, magazines, happy movies) to have on hand when I feel down.

Best of luck to you!