Sufferer Reality Sinking In

[Eternum]

Hello everyone.

This is unusual for me. When I decide to join a forum, I have usually looked at some threads and found conversations I want to leap into. I tend to forget there's even an introduction section unless I'm looking to greet someone new. I am usually the one to help, usually the one with the information.

Today finds me signing up here at my wit's end: dazed, exhausted, overwhelmed. I know the technical stuff surrounding PTSD. I've already been through one round with a therapist 7 years ago and read some books then. It settled down for awhile, and then several recent events sparked a relapse. This is what's making my head spin. I feel like a raw, exposed nerve. I feel broken.

I'm used to picking myself up by now, so this is all catching me off guard. Can anyone relate to this? If you can, where did you start in these forums?

Thank you.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I definitley relate. So many years relatively symptom free, and now I'm crashing. Welcome.

My advice? Just start reading. Searching. I don't think there is a rhyme or a reason to using the site and different sections make more sense for different people.

 

[iwannadeletethis]

@Eternum hey!!:) welcome!!

I feel like I understand. I worked through my PTSD for a good 15 years.. And I thought because I had worked through all the flashbacks, normal triggers, and seeing red that I could relax.

I joined because I went from very basic manageable panic attacks to HUGE ones that make me physically ill.

You're not alone <3

I'm available all day to chat if you need a buddy.

 

[joeylittle]

I'm used to picking myself up by now, so this is all catching me off guard. Can anyone relate to this? If you can, where did you start in these forums?

Oh, I relate strongly. I spent about my first two weeks here just reading. It started with using the search function for words that related to my trauma, and then bloomed out from there. We have articles you can access by section listed on the home page. Any questions, just visit the Help Desk (it's linked in my signature on this post), and these are helpful:
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community constitution

For when you feel like posting. We are a big site, but it's full of great resources, ideas, stories. You'll find that you are not alone in the "oh I thought it was better and now it's not" feelings.

Anyway, glad you are here.

 

[Eternum]

I have a hunch I will be using the Like button a lot. :x3: I didn't expect such a rapid response. Thank you!

@joeylittle - Appreciate the links. The tech geek in me is already coming alive at all the interesting features around here. This forum has got a sleek interface compared to the ones I've been to before.

@Skitzii - I especially appreciate the offer to chat, though I am a bit too frazzled at the moment. May I follow you, though? I would enjoy a chat once I get familiarized. I empathize with panic attacks. I don't get them to the point of hyperventilation, though I have a separate health issue that causes breathing problems. It's my least favorite feeling of any feeling in the history of ever. :yuck:

 

[WillyKat]

PTSD is like Coyote the Trickster or Loki. You get to thinking you've made progress when you haven't. The train tunnel you've painted on the canyon wall has a real train in it coming right at you.

On the other hand, sometimes crashing can be a good sign. I'm inclined to think the latter. In your case, like with me about three years ago, it could mean you're ready to deal with things, round 2, that you may not have been ready before.

I joined the forum after I had gone back to therapy about 2.5 years ago. I didn't want to try to recover where it was just me and my therapist. We have to find people like ourselves, someone we don't have to pay to get support from. And right away, I knew it was the right move.

 

[iwannadeletethis]

I have a hunch I will be using the Like button a lot. :x3: I didn't expect such a rapid response. Thank...

Sounds terrible!! And of course you can <3 I hope your day gets better!!

 

[Eternum]

Ha, I loved that analogy about PTSD. :giggle:

On the other hand, sometimes crashing can be a good sign. I'm inclined to think the latter. In your case, like with me about three years ago, it could mean you're ready to deal with things, round 2, that you may not have been ready before.

Thanks for pointing that out. I'd say you're right on the money. The events and circumstances that caused all this actually sent me deep back into my childhood as far as flashbacks go, and nothing has done that before.

Up until today, I was of the mind to keep it to just my therapist and I. It's been my experience with group situations that I'm the strong one others lean on, and I still deal with my stuff alone. But this community already seems very different to me, just even in what I'm reading. There's a strong positive vibe here. I like it.

 

[WillyKat]

Sharing your pain with others you trust (not just anyone) is a way of walking on the surface of the Earth. We don't have to slither from rock to rock anymore.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Jump right in?

Answer posts where you feel comfortable, and don't be afraid to make a post if you need to reach out for help. (Most of the time I recommend reaching out for help in a post instead of chat because with a post, you can always come back later and revisit it or take your time with responding. Chat enables people to ruminate and re-hash the same issues ad infinitum b/c they can't re-read the advice given to them before.)

Welcome!

 

[Friday]

I'm used to picking myself up by now, so this is all catching me off guard. Can anyone relate to this? If you can, where did you start in these forums?

LOL... I had 10 good years. Got so damn used to any little spike in symptoms being short lived, that I was a year deep into symptoms before I realized I wasn't pulling up outta this nosedive! So I started busting my ass trying to lock shit down, pronto, before things got bad again. Another year in therapy (not trauma therapy!) before I realized... Well holy f*ck, we're really doing this thing again, aren't we? (Massive tailspin, first one lasted about 5 years). Sigh. So yah. Can relate in spades. Wish I'd found this place sooner. Learned more in a year here, than 15 years out in the world. SMH. Damn good place, here.

 

[Deleted member 29961]

It settled down for awhile, and then several recent events sparked a relapse.

I had 10 good years. Got so damn used to any little spike in symptoms being short lived, that I was a year deep into symptoms before I realized I wasn't pulling up outta this nosedive!

Yes I can and like @FridayJones, I've been in a slow nosedive for longer than I realize. I'm in my fourth go-around in the past thirty plus years. I've licked it before. I'll lick it again. I've come to far to let it all slip away.

I've discovered there are some really great people here o this form, what I did to get started was just picked a thread that resonated with me and added my two cent worth.