Birthday

[shimmerz]

My birthday is actually in December. I have no reason to celebrate it. Ever since I was a child I would cry on my birthday. I didn't know why. My adopted Father always used to hug me and tell me that I wasn't supposed to cry on my birthday. I couldn't help it. It was always just so sad.

So three years ago, I decided to change my birthday. To June 21st. I can't tolerate people saying happy birthday on my 'born day'. I don't react well for some reason.

People who are 'norms' think I am nuts for having done so, although there are tons of reasons I did so, without going into too much detail. All trauma based reasons (anniversary, family dynamics, etc) I know people don't understand. You guys might, idk. I am just so tired of going ballistic on that day.

I am wondering if there is a chance that my birthday can be changed on my profile information. I have officially decided to make that day just any other day.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Mine, too...

My Mother invented a ritual on my birthday that said she could hit me (hard) the number of times I was old, then she would " pinch an inch" by picking a tender spot and pinching viciously. My older sister ("her daughter") would gleefully join in. (Thankfully, no one else would.). I was fair game until the minute of my birth 5:15 PM, so I would spend the day, hiding. She didn't do this to anyone else.

She let me know, in many ways, that she never wanted me...

She convinced my Dad one year that I wasn't old enough for the gift he got me (a pretty little radio), and made him give it to my sister - in front of me - on my birthday, with no other gift from anyone...

I often think of Job, wishing he had never seen the light of day, that he was stillborn.
Me too...

Yes, beautiful Shimmerz, birthdays can be very sad days. I'm so sorry you feel this way, too...

 

[shimmerz]

Oh, @deer_in_headlights , I am so very sorry that anyone can relate to this at all. I so wish that it wasn't so. Thank you so much for posting.
Truly. That must have been painful to put into words, and I honour that. Thank you.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Beautiful Shimmerz,

While I would never wish you such pain, it is a gift to everyone here and to the world that you were born, that you have survived, that you are here - you are such a rare and amazing person.

My heart resonates with your sorrow... Tears for you, and with you...

Celebrating you, your courage, your strength, your unique and wonderful self this day!

 

[Spiderallis]

I'm sorry you go through that each year, but nicely done on coming up with a solution. That's awesome. I remember sadness on birthdays going back to childhood, no guess as to why. My trick is insisting that 'I wasn't born, I was only hatched', it's a line from an old country song.

 

[Kefira]

I'm so sorry you feel this way but very glad you have come up with a solution that feels right for you. Who cares if others get it?

A couple of my trauma anniversaries are in the month before my birthday so I can at least sort of relate. It always seems to be a toss up whether I'll be able to use it as the pivot point into a couple better months or whether I'll still be stuck.

 

[MT Johnny]

Shimmerz, you picked a symbolically perfect day for your birthday, the day filled with the greatest light (well, here in the Northern Hemisphere).

 

[shimmerz]

the day filled with the greatest light

Yes, thank you MT, that was the plan. More light, less darkness.

 

[BlueDream]

I hope you make today a wonderful celebration of you @shimmerz!!
Happy New Birthday!!

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@shimmerz, I totally understand that, in fact I would like to do the same. It's like the Queen, she has two "birthdays" :) although I know you just want one but at a different time of year. Happy birthday! :)

 

[joeylittle]

I am wondering if there is a chance that my birthday can be changed on my profile information. I have officially decided to make that day just any other day.

You'll need to post this request in the Help Desk
(Birthday information can only be changed by an administrator)

And happy birthday! :) - I think it's a smart idea, actually, to choose a day you can like instead of a day you want to have disappear.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Wow, just barely got the cake here before the stroke of midnight (in my zone)! Took forever to get those candles in.:clown:

Has nothing to do with your young age but I figured we can roast a marsh mellow or two before you blow them out.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Now breath & huff and make a wish!:hug::hug: