Birthday

[Ronin]

@shimmerz, ditching phones & changing phones fast & eventually using call boxes (that a word? I know British phone booth for it) if they still do them where you are & using friends / shelters / etc phones for little payment could all be an option?

And/or you can play dead bug on people. Deep disinterest & not being in the expectable spots when they try to get to you physically can tire even persistent assholes.

(I'm still doing that with some of mine. Mostly because creativity with hiding amuses me, and it's not as much hiding as exploring safe spaces. And I don't tend to have much of value in my housing; documents I need for work are stored with trusted friends, ditto photos of my children & dead partners if I'm not having them on me, ditto things reminding me of my past as former uniforms. Travel documents & the like goes with me. Computers don't have anything of essence on them. Favorite knives go with me. Lighters are enough gettable everywhere. Phone numbers I got memorized & don't forget under any circumstances.

Home-that's-not-home statuses reason.

Boy, was this a too long, didn't read. :D)

 

[Deleted member 30331]

Mine, too...

My Mother invented a ritual on my birthday that said she could hit me (hard) the...

These are wonderful posts. Congratulations to all. Changing your birthday is brilliant! I know another person who did it, and it brought out all kinds of autonomy.

Here's a thought: I've done this more than once. Sometimes on certain anniversaries, I must in a way dissociate intentionally back in time. By meditation, I've re-explored many incidents, both happy and sad.

Almost like the director of a movie, I can be the star, the writer and producer. I can change the situation at will in dreams, but during meditation, I tend to search for the sad child that I was. That is because another, more mature version of me is invisibly on the scene. And no matter what is happening in the movie, that invisible character is giving that child a warm hug and whispering in children's terms, "This will be over soon, and one day you'll be happy. Cry all you want to, whenever you want to, but remember that we're going to be OK."

I intend to keep the occasional practice of doing that. That way, no matter what may happen to make me sad, I will always know that a scarred up but kindly old
man is on my side all the way from the future.

Does this sound strange? I can even privately know that that old man is in my future, and he's proud that I took care of him.

After I do that, I always feel better, having done the best I could for my most vulnerable self. Take care, and Happy Birthdays!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I understand why you're doing what you're doing, but in the end, I don't agree with how you're doing it.

You're trying to control the rest of the world in order to be OK with your birthday in your own mind.

Everyone else knows your true birthday. You tell them it has changed and to celebrate it on a new day. They choose to not celebrate your new birthday, and you throw a fit. Well, quite frankly, they have a right to not agree with the new birthday bit as it really does go against everything we've been taught about birthdays from when we were born. You then try to change your birthday here on the forum. Why? Honestly, there is no reason why. Hide your actual birthday and then make a post on your chosen birthday announcing your birthday. Or is it really that important that everyone else on the forum see your posted birthday and wish you a happy birthday? And what about everywhere else that a birth date is required? Nope, can't change those birthdates!

My point is that your birth date is stuck with you for life, and you'd be better off just ACCEPTING the actual date instead of trying to change it and throwing a fit when the world doesn't bow down to your commands.

Really, this is what PTSD healing is about. We work through our triggers and build our tolerance levels so that the triggers disappear. This changing everything to "fix" your trigger thing pretty much flies in the face of what healing is about. You can't change the world, you can only change yourself. But, if you want to continue to fight it, then know you're going to deal with resistance at every step of the way.

I'm not saying "don't have a different day that you celebrate your birthday" but I am saying that you need to diffuse this trigger and realize that day is stuck with you for life instead of trying to make the rest of the world change.

 

[Deleted member 30331]

@shimmerz, ditching phones & changing phones fast & eventually using call boxes (that a...

Are you sure that by disappearing as much as you can, you might not be cutting off people who might be able to help? Just checking. I hope you take care of yourself.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

Happy Happy Birthday....belated. LOVE LOVE LOVE BIRTHDAYS