This is a really good reference to bring up here. The drama triangle, once seen, can help people get out of the 'rinse, repeat' process that you speak about @Anarchy . Good get.
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Has Anyone Else Discovered How Incredibly Cruel People Can Be, To Those Of Us With Ptsd?
- Post starter HFA_Cat
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I was just thinking today how much I missed your hugs @Anarchy! Thank you! :hug:'s right back at you!
Meadowsweet
Diamond Member
I've no doubt that your personal relationship is hard for you. But the op didn't mention anything regarding a partner, she spoke about an online community from which she receives some support, but also, a lot of abuse and mind games.
And that is what she was wanting support for.
From what I read, I don't even know if the op is even in a relationship at all. And this is what I pointed out previously = it would be a wrong assumption to imagine that ALL people with PTSD are in relationships, or looking for relationships. Many of us manage by ourselves.
Sometimes a skin can be so thick, that you don't actually listen (or learn) from what is being said. This thread isn't about someone in your personal situation, and in projecting your situation onto another, it could be counter-productive and create more difficulties for the person who is here for support. Perhaps if you are looking for support, a thread of your own about you, will bring you that. But to tell others what they ought to feel for loved ones that we don't even know exist, seems off topic for this one.
Friday
Sponsor
Public Lives are challenging on several fronts. It takes a certain kind of person to be able to maintain their personal integrity & sense of self regardless of what others do or say about you (adoration or disgust). Not something I do, not my bailiwick, but this is the way of life of some of my nearest & dearest.
There's a balance needed, a kind of momentum coupled with being influenced enough by others to effectively shape things, without being influenced enough to be shaped themselves.
When that balance gets out of whack? Like with PTSD? Or losing your sense of self due to an abusive relationship? ((Or many of the challenges that have made friends need to -or harder, fear they need to- pull back from public life?))
It's a difficult & scary thing. Like a surgeon who can't stand the sight of blood, or an actor who is triggered by bright light, or the mom who can't hear her children play... Getting triggered is hard enough. Add in the emotions that get all tied up in not feeling like we can do what we love best as well as we want to? And worse, the naysayers agreeing with all our fears?
Cha. I'm pretty sure most of us can relate to the multiple levels that get f*cked up, and how the absolute last thing in the world any of us need is people telling us how much we suck as we're working harder than we ever have before.
There's a balance needed, a kind of momentum coupled with being influenced enough by others to effectively shape things, without being influenced enough to be shaped themselves.
When that balance gets out of whack? Like with PTSD? Or losing your sense of self due to an abusive relationship? ((Or many of the challenges that have made friends need to -or harder, fear they need to- pull back from public life?))
It's a difficult & scary thing. Like a surgeon who can't stand the sight of blood, or an actor who is triggered by bright light, or the mom who can't hear her children play... Getting triggered is hard enough. Add in the emotions that get all tied up in not feeling like we can do what we love best as well as we want to? And worse, the naysayers agreeing with all our fears?
Cha. I'm pretty sure most of us can relate to the multiple levels that get f*cked up, and how the absolute last thing in the world any of us need is people telling us how much we suck as we're working harder than we ever have before.
So true. Ever so painful.
- Post starter
- #31
Meadow - thank you for those words. As you see by the post date, I sort of poofed. As for the mindgames, with you there - you'd think I'd know better after 14 years of community ownership. For one thing, I get horribly triggered there. This is a major, major issue: it's =MY= joint and I'm still barely able to post there.
Spider - my real name is very well known - needs to be, because of the nature of that community. Certain folks need to be able to find me when need be. It's never been an issue until this PTSD mess!
As for Diamonds, me, I felt a lot of pain in that post of theirs. A =lot= of bitterness and pain. I haven't been around, but it was my issues: certainly not that post.
Meadow, oh lord I feel you. I have a grand total of nobody taking care of/even visiting these days - short of those I pay. That small matter of abuse? That individual did what abusers do so very well: got rid of my friends, as well. Predator 101: Isolate. And since I posted here, I did the unthinkable - I posted the truth on my own community. Only to find that literally hordes of others had been or were currently in the same situation. But there were also those who accused me of using the abuse or my PTSD as - I don't know, a cry for attention? Christ almighty. That's way beyond belief, IYKWIM. You finally get the balls to say listen, know I ain't been around for X years. It wasn't because I didn't care - it was because I had a wee situation, etc etc. And that's one of the responses? I think my favorite response was "Oh good! If Y kills Cat, can we get all the banned folks back?"
I think everyone needs to exercise a lot more caution when dealing with people who have been abused, who have PTSD, who live with someone who has PTSD. You never know what is going to trigger people, nor what form that trigger will take - IMHO of course.
Diamonds, knew I recognized the pain in your post. Many years ago, I had several relationships with Nam vets. OH do I have that tee shirt. When I was diagnosed with PTSD in fact - I told my therapist "nuh uh. I do NOT. That's for vets!"
Sun - there is a load of difference in 'support' and 'trying to fix.' (Right now I'd give my left boob for either one.)
Friday - you so very right about "Public Lives." I only wish I had my "public balls" back - although I managed to do my (VERY FIRST IN 2 YEARS!) radio interview 2 weeks ago.
Thank you all for the kind words... I wasn't in a place to come back and read them then. I'm not 100 percent sure I am now - giving it a shot.
Spider - my real name is very well known - needs to be, because of the nature of that community. Certain folks need to be able to find me when need be. It's never been an issue until this PTSD mess!
As for Diamonds, me, I felt a lot of pain in that post of theirs. A =lot= of bitterness and pain. I haven't been around, but it was my issues: certainly not that post.
Meadow, oh lord I feel you. I have a grand total of nobody taking care of/even visiting these days - short of those I pay. That small matter of abuse? That individual did what abusers do so very well: got rid of my friends, as well. Predator 101: Isolate. And since I posted here, I did the unthinkable - I posted the truth on my own community. Only to find that literally hordes of others had been or were currently in the same situation. But there were also those who accused me of using the abuse or my PTSD as - I don't know, a cry for attention? Christ almighty. That's way beyond belief, IYKWIM. You finally get the balls to say listen, know I ain't been around for X years. It wasn't because I didn't care - it was because I had a wee situation, etc etc. And that's one of the responses? I think my favorite response was "Oh good! If Y kills Cat, can we get all the banned folks back?"
I think everyone needs to exercise a lot more caution when dealing with people who have been abused, who have PTSD, who live with someone who has PTSD. You never know what is going to trigger people, nor what form that trigger will take - IMHO of course.
Diamonds, knew I recognized the pain in your post. Many years ago, I had several relationships with Nam vets. OH do I have that tee shirt. When I was diagnosed with PTSD in fact - I told my therapist "nuh uh. I do NOT. That's for vets!"
Sun - there is a load of difference in 'support' and 'trying to fix.' (Right now I'd give my left boob for either one.)
Friday - you so very right about "Public Lives." I only wish I had my "public balls" back - although I managed to do my (VERY FIRST IN 2 YEARS!) radio interview 2 weeks ago.
Thank you all for the kind words... I wasn't in a place to come back and read them then. I'm not 100 percent sure I am now - giving it a shot.
macbeth
Gold Member
@HFA_Cat I think I have an understanding of what you're talking about. I developed ptsd after a violent and abusive relationship and was homeless for a little while before finding what I thought was a safe place/town not far from family. I started to slowly come out of my shell and speak to some of my neighbors. They were supportive and and revealed they had been through similar. What I didn't realize was that they were using me to get to my ex. When they didn't get what they wanted from me they turned on me and became just as if not more abusive and manipulative than my ex and used my illness against me .I had to flee from them too. I was floored by how cruel people could be even though my ex is the worst human alive. I hope it helps to know you are not alone. :hug: s
Ladyghosthunter
Gold Member
I seem to attract narcissists lately and am tired of it. I'm going to talk to my counselor to find out why this is happening and what I can do to stop this BS.
Not Important
Bronze Member
Wanna know one thing I found out recently that's really f*cked-up?
There is a whole internet meme centered around mocking triggers. You've probably seen it before:
[GALLERY=media, 2656]f*ck This Meme And Everyone Who Likes It by Not Important posted Jan 7, 2016 at 1:09 AM[/GALLERY]
It's regurgitated constantly by these f*cking subhuman worthless intolerant bigots who want to make the Turner Diaries a reality. They post it to mock people who are upset by likening the to feminists and "social justice warriors", who they falsely believe are all the lowest of the low pieces of filth on the planet. Wooooooooooooooow, not only are you shitting in the face of the mentally ill, you're also confirming that you're nothing more than a misogynistic anti-feminist male supremacist! Good going!!!111! I hope everyone who uses this meme slits his own throat.
But to put it in perspective, it's really typical for the human race. They will rape and beat the weakest people on earth, and then shit all over them some more when they beg for mercy. And for the people who display the slightest level of sympathy or compassion to them? "COMMUNIST!" "SJW!" "CUCK!" Of course, f*ck me for having an ounce of compassion, right?!
There is a whole internet meme centered around mocking triggers. You've probably seen it before:
[GALLERY=media, 2656]f*ck This Meme And Everyone Who Likes It by Not Important posted Jan 7, 2016 at 1:09 AM[/GALLERY]
It's regurgitated constantly by these f*cking subhuman worthless intolerant bigots who want to make the Turner Diaries a reality. They post it to mock people who are upset by likening the to feminists and "social justice warriors", who they falsely believe are all the lowest of the low pieces of filth on the planet. Wooooooooooooooow, not only are you shitting in the face of the mentally ill, you're also confirming that you're nothing more than a misogynistic anti-feminist male supremacist! Good going!!!111! I hope everyone who uses this meme slits his own throat.
But to put it in perspective, it's really typical for the human race. They will rape and beat the weakest people on earth, and then shit all over them some more when they beg for mercy. And for the people who display the slightest level of sympathy or compassion to them? "COMMUNIST!" "SJW!" "CUCK!" Of course, f*ck me for having an ounce of compassion, right?!
" Social justice warrior " was apparently started as an ironic way to tell your activist buddies they were being too pushy/dogmatic/purist/serious. Because you do get those counter productively " this is SERIOUS!" types, who usually end up disrupting groups through endless purity arguments that have no practical benefit.
It got hijacked by...hmm...a certain breed of Ayn-Rand-worshipping male supremacist jerk that lurks much on Reddit and Twitter, amid pizza cartons and the smell of unlaundered socks.
Personally, I heard the term and thought..." wonder how many hit points that character class has?" though you probably have to roll for sense of humor check. But really? As opposed to a " social injustice drone?". I mean...people who are going to actually make fun of me for caring about other people?
Why should I care what a herd of jackasses think? Why should ANYONE care what these creepy, self-entitled little pissants think?
The thing is though, those antisocial, pathologically selfish, parasitic adult children are in the minority. They do an outsize amount of damage, yes. But they are in the minority. So we're not doomed. Really. Most people are good people.
It got hijacked by...hmm...a certain breed of Ayn-Rand-worshipping male supremacist jerk that lurks much on Reddit and Twitter, amid pizza cartons and the smell of unlaundered socks.
Personally, I heard the term and thought..." wonder how many hit points that character class has?" though you probably have to roll for sense of humor check. But really? As opposed to a " social injustice drone?". I mean...people who are going to actually make fun of me for caring about other people?
Why should I care what a herd of jackasses think? Why should ANYONE care what these creepy, self-entitled little pissants think?
The thing is though, those antisocial, pathologically selfish, parasitic adult children are in the minority. They do an outsize amount of damage, yes. But they are in the minority. So we're not doomed. Really. Most people are good people.
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