Don't Touch Me.

[Ariane]

I don't understand why this is such a hard concept. I don't understand why people feel the need to touch others that they aren't all that close to. It's an invasion, it's terrifying, and I want it to stop.

It was a really stressful day for everyone at work. Huge truck, not enough staff, super busy with crabby people, floor cleaners coming in, etc. Everyone was shouting over the walkie so I'm already on edge. One of my coworkers, an older lady, grabbed my upper arms from behind in what I'm sure she thought was a comforting gesture but I freaked. I told her please don't and speed walked the hell away. Teared up, pushed through the panic, finished all of my work and the minute I got home I just blew up. It's going to take me days to be okay with my brother giving me a high five or my sister giving me a hug, much less my boyfriend trying to cuddle me.

Please don't touch me.

 

[Fadeaway]

Yup, I often joke that people don't seem to see the barbed wire surrounding my personal space bubble. People are just clueless. Even my husband knows not to touch me if I am asleep, and we sleep in the same bed, so why can't strangers get it?

The worst time was when I was standing in line at the convenience store and a woman decided it was perfectly ok to start brush cat hair off my butt. I have cats I sit where they sleep. No I don't care if I have cat hair on my butt if I am just making a quick convenience store run. I felt bad because I went off and made her cry, but no! just No.

Give yourself all the space you need over these few days. I am sure your sibling will understand, and at work you can always say you feel like you might be coming own with something.

 

[Mallaky]

:roflmao:

 

[Ariane]

Thank you @Fadeaway and thank you @Mallaky

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

I have never had that problem as far in companionship, as touching my significant other provides a sense of security for me. But, I am like you in the fact that I don't like strangers touching me, even brushing up against me. This may sound strange, but I feel like my personal energy or aura is contaminated when an event like that happens. I think, to some people, touching can be a sensory overload that causes severe anxiety and emotional pain.

 

[Ariane]

I completely agree. Sometimes, when I'm already having an off day, someone with a negative energy/aura just being near me can set me on edge.

I am just starting to get used to companionship, but I have an extremely hard time still. My mom and her boyfriend weren't affectionate. He was "friendly" and the touching wasn't good.

 

[Mallaky]

I am uncomfortable with hugging all but the very nearest to me. I remember the dread and terror when it became fashionable to hug everyone when I was younger. I much preferred the "Hi" with a waggling hand. After a few years of this the constant exposure made me relax about it.

Nowadays that is not an issue, but I very much have the "exaggerated startle response" so my parner learned the hard way not to attack hug me. If that startle is caused by somebody suddenly being very near, I just want to shove em.

I can see how it could be an enourmous issue at work, and times ten if the trauma is in any way linked to physical integrity or unwanted touching, which is mostly not the case for me.

 

[Ariane]

I work at a fabric store and for some reason...every little old lady seems to think its okay to touch the workers. Like grabbing a hand or wrist or patting my shoulder or hand. It's not okay to touch people without their consent.....I know I'm being a little dramatic but c'mon, it's not like this is a new concept.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

I work at a fabric store and for some reason...every little old lady seems to think its okay to touch the...

It is just the way their generation was taught. They were brought up to be affectionate and compassionate, and to most, hugs or pats on the back are a positive thing. But, when people have a disorder such as yourself, it can be stressful, even though the elderly have good intentions.

 

[Ariane]

I guess I just find it strange, growing up the way I did.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

I guess I just find it strange, growing up the way I did.

From what I have gathered, you have grown up in a poisonous environment. You are simply reacting the way anyone who has been violated would react. You are a lovely young lady, and have a lot to look forward to in the future. Rid your life of abusive, selfish and poisonous people, including even flesh and blood, and things will get much better for you.

 

[Ariane]

Thank you @Whispering_Truth that means a lot to me (: