Scared Of Relationships?

[idougame]

Hi,
A little bit of background information. For the past 7 months, I have been getting quite close to a lovely guy from school. He is incredibly sweet and just an all round fabulous guy. He is very protective of me and he cares for me a lot. Recently, whilst on a trip to the beach with our school, we got to talking. He told me that I need to take a chance with the 'guy I like' even though he knows that it is him. He was very persistent and kept telling me to just do it. I spoke to friends and we all agreed that I should do exactly what he said and just do it. But I couldn't. I am a little scared. He doesn't know about the PTSD but he does know about the situation with my sister that has caused it. Basically, I am scared that I might mess things up with him if I had a bad spell or if something new happens with my sister. Has anyone else experienced something like this before in relationships or am I just being incredibly stupid?
IdOuGaMe

 

[J_trustno1]

No, you're not the only one with a fear of relationships. I am in the same boat but my case is a little different. I've been liking someone for 4.5 years yet I've never had the nerve to talk to him while his friends keep telling me to talk to him. His friends have been telling me that he's a nice and a shy guy. However, I have a fear of relationships due to seeing all the horrifying relationships and domestic violence at home that I am scared of guys plus having past bad experiences that I am scared to try.

This doesn't mean you give up. What you need to do is take things slow and slowly work towards your relationship. Learn how this guy is like. Learn about his strengths and weaknesses. Learn about what he has to offer in a relationship and also what you can offer him. Always be cautious of the things and learn to recognise red flags. Also set some boundaries to what you will and will not allow in a relationship. Remember, a relationship is about two people not just one person.

 

[Theresa1122]

Jass is completely right! Take it slow - baby steps. I think everyone, to a certain point, is afraid of getting into a new relationship because it's scary. It's EXTRA scary for those of us with PTSD because we're more frightened of new things, we're more cautious because of our histories, we need to lean more on those around us, and letting someone new in is really hard.

Take it slow, don't push it because your PTSD and healing may take a step backwards is you push too fast, too hard. Let him in a little at a time. Don't tell him details about your PTSD until you're ready. You'll be OK. Everyone on this site will be here for you. Just don't let him push you too beyond your comfort zone.

 

[idougame]

No, you're not the only one with a fear of relationships. I am in the same boat but my case is a little d...

Thank you so much!

 

[idougame]

Jass is completely right! Take it slow - baby steps. I think everyone, to a certain point, is afra...

Thank you so much!

 

[idougame]

Hi again.
I have certainly accepted the PTSD and have spoken to close friends. They have all been very understanding and supportive which has really helped. However, I don't know how to tell someone I am getting into a relationship with about it. I feel like he would understand but I don't want to ruin things by telling him. I need some advice really!

Oh and if I don't get to say it before, I hope each and every single one of you has a happy and healthy Christmas.

Much love,
IdOuGaMe

 

[Alfred]

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/anxiety-dp-dr-panic-attack-will-sacrifice-her-his-love.57962/

You can read through this.