Friday
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So to switch from "everything" to "civil" (not even friends, but not enemies either) is a huge change.
It gives you goals, however. & Where there are goals? There are paths to achieving those goals.
Civil tends to imply : cool, detached, polite, general awareness (but not specific awareness) of the other's ongoing life, mild interest, very little emotion involved, rare or superficial involvement, etc. Each of those are goals with paths to them.
Since you said at least, though, I would look at the other possibilities you might hope for, and outline those as well. And with each goal? Back track. Okay, how do I get from A-Z?
I'm not a fan of "hope" in general. Feeling good about something imaginary that may never happen, instead of feeling good about reality which is happening, just strikes me as wasted opportunity. Wasted opportunity to build a life that you're happy with at each step of the way, instead of constantly falling short of some maybe future you're waiting and waiting on. Hope just seems to suck so much joy out of the world / wanting what you don't have. It's such a helpless thing. However, I do think it is a very useful tool for determining what you want. Biggest trick I've found, though is making the path there worth it in and of itself, as "there" may never happen.
So my suggestion would be to not just look at your end goals (civil, friends, trusted friend, close confidant, best friends, etc.) but the paths to achieving those goals, and which ones bring you joy or benefit each step of the way.
It gives you goals, however. & Where there are goals? There are paths to achieving those goals.
Civil tends to imply : cool, detached, polite, general awareness (but not specific awareness) of the other's ongoing life, mild interest, very little emotion involved, rare or superficial involvement, etc. Each of those are goals with paths to them.
Since you said at least, though, I would look at the other possibilities you might hope for, and outline those as well. And with each goal? Back track. Okay, how do I get from A-Z?
I'm not a fan of "hope" in general. Feeling good about something imaginary that may never happen, instead of feeling good about reality which is happening, just strikes me as wasted opportunity. Wasted opportunity to build a life that you're happy with at each step of the way, instead of constantly falling short of some maybe future you're waiting and waiting on. Hope just seems to suck so much joy out of the world / wanting what you don't have. It's such a helpless thing. However, I do think it is a very useful tool for determining what you want. Biggest trick I've found, though is making the path there worth it in and of itself, as "there" may never happen.
So my suggestion would be to not just look at your end goals (civil, friends, trusted friend, close confidant, best friends, etc.) but the paths to achieving those goals, and which ones bring you joy or benefit each step of the way.
