Am I Over Reacting ?

[Deleted member 24866]

Its cool, reaffirmed our verbal contract for 200$ to cover shelter- in the event he can not pay me I will have credit towards tattoos. Also his coverage of his food (now obtaining assistance) He has since has his medical and all forms of ID obtained and will be getting back on medication and some therapy, perhaps SSI. Also stepping back to clarify boundries on a personal level, I feel it would be better to "love me" when he doesn't "need me".. but will put a roof over his head, and have seen him fed this 2 months. A gift to him- homelessness is no joke on the mental toll it takes -having battled it myself. (Yesterday I felt like the good Samaritan, only after the man got his strength back he said the food was not good enough..lol ) Societal norm and odds say it will not work- but the primary goal here is obtaining him stability and shelter- yes- while simultaneously evaluating the system. Had he no roof the time required to obtain assistance could double and we are already at over 2 months in. People die on the streets.. not going to just let him rot. I am strongly advocating FEMA to step into the housing situation.. a war against the poor. Not acceptable. My state has over 4000 homeless youth, susceptible to being trafficked. I am confident in my intent and actions. Peace out and thanks for talking me through a tantrum I may have regretted. :)

 

[shimmerz]

You are right. Homelessness is no joke. And while in survival mode we don't always think clearly. I feel like establishing a 'relationship' that is any different from helper/helpee is counterproductive here.

It is a hard go to even TRUST that one is safe in a home when one has been homeless. There is a ton to take in emotionally, etc. I tip my hat to you for attempting to help him. And helping him means helping him get a step up so that he can, again, take care of himself. Much power to you. Good luck with keeping this on track to your original directive.

 

[scout86]

only after the man got his strength back he said the food was not good enough..lol

Could be "just me" but I don't find that very funny.

 

[Deleted member 24866]

Could be "just me" but I don't find that very funny.

scout.. he has no where, I took him in feed him and am trying to help him. He is far better emotionally- and making progress. I am not made of money so it is meager - and there are times he has thought it was a free for all. And it is not. He now is able to pay his way, obtained ID (had none) medical..working on SSI and housing, but we are both human.. it did reaffirm however that we need the primary goal of this to be for him to acquire housing. As long as the landlord does not interfere here - he has a roof. I have sacrificed far beyond what any "normal" person would be willing and he is thankful it seems to be working. Just have to make sure the lines do not blur.. no it literally was like that. God is my judge so no fear from you.

 

[shimmerz]

Could be "just me" but I don't find that very funny.

Agreed. It isn't.

He now is able to pay his way,

So then he should be able to get his own food then.

 

[Deleted member 24866]

I have never done this before and no intent to do it again- but curious about effective rehab and the realities of homelessness and evaluation of how long our current system takes and where it fails for greater advocacy that immediate housing should be mandated especially for youth- as well as veterans and our citizens. On other social media sites and speaking with our governors office - these are serious attempts to shift homelessness and those who view it as an emergency- they are shifting views. It is effective advocacy and this also serves a pupose for fuel for greater change. Anthony understands supports and sees a chance at some personal advocacy and healing with fighting for this cause. We are adults.. though I feel my age makes me a bit more so, but between his developing positive support network including church and mine- now not solely mine.. he is growing stronger and maturing, his poor decisions contributed to his housing and they are legit but he is responding well to outside input and seeking it. I think he will be fine we just can't cloud it with a relationship.

 

[Deleted member 24866]

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Agreed. It isn't.

So then he should be able to get his own food then.

ank God- hence needing our talk. It took two months of support people.. I suppose you are so much better. Inspire me.. as if it was not a sacrifice. whatever..

 

[Deleted member 24866]

my reward is in its success anyhow.

 

[shimmerz]

I am in exactly this position right now. I have a person 'helping me step back up'. I am eternally grateful. And I may not always say the right things - because I am still figuring out my 'safe' after years of not safe. I tip my hat to you and your helping this man.

 

[Deleted member 24866]

maybe I was just pissed because he was able but chose to neglect the responsibilities to the house and want to incur more debts having spent his money on lottery tickets to have the gall to ask for cash- I can not afford cash- I did buy him 3 sets of cloths also and cover laundry/given. I had to reinforce those responsibities- that irritated me. Just want to see him step up and be able- but even people who have not experienced homelessness can be careless with $.

 

[Deleted member 24866]

I can get by.. but my ex makes double what I do - "needs" to eat steak all the time and gone bankrupt twice now. Blamed it all on alcoholism, but in the process of his bankruptcy was buying 400$ box sets. (notice referring to ex here..) I lent him money having been in a long term relationship and he refused to pay it till I was in a housing crisis due to medical. Rediculous.. its basic math. But I have to acknowledge some people are willing to make sacrifices and some are not- those who don't typically stand on the backs of those who do and having to many men on the make I have established some pretty firm boundries, I just don't prefer to have to repeat myself. But I need to be more patient as my past triggers that also. Just had to vent here rather then at him. And I am thankful.

 

[joeylittle]

I suppose you are so much better. Inspire me.. as if it was not a sacrifice. whatever..

OK. But you were also having sex with the guy? I'm glad you are putting down a boundary about that - because it muddies everything - but honestly, it looks like you were getting something out of this set-up as well, besides a sense of helping social justice. Or am I wrong? (Happy to be wrong, here).