You know you have complex trauma when......

[ReachingOutJ]

You know you have complex trauma when you realize that you are not who you thought you were.
When you...

This.

 

[ReachingOutJ]

You know you have complex trauma when everyday is a struggle to relive the flashbacks , to try...

This, too.

 

[new gamma rays]

Maybe this applies to any kind of trauma, but there's a storm forming - and where you used to like storms- this one feels like it will lead to some catastrophic life event. Maybe that's me just expecting catastrophic life events to happen every night tho.

 

[illusionist]

You think you have dealt with everything you need to....have spent years of relative management and up pops something else....is this ever going to end?

 

[void]

....when symptoms and coping mechanisms(mostly maladaptive) are so dominant that you have no clue what type of personality you have and what personality you were born with

 

[Ronin]

When mentioning one type of trauma as opposed to type of trauma you struggle more often with cheers you up, and macabre humor that isn't funny in most places you try to fit in cracks you up.

 

[Higgins]

IDK why, but this thread made me feel better. I think it's because the three "who the f*ck cares" emails I wrote this week now make a little more sense.

 

[caramelmix]

When you do something simple like touch a door handle or someone gives you a hug and it triggers a 3 day long anxiety attack and it makes no sense to you. when you get triggered by things you can just never see coming !

 

[angrypanda]

When you never had a "true self" before the trauma began because it began in infancy. Who would you have been, what love language would you have had.

When the trauma is so complex and long lasting the triggers are too numerous to avoid and too many "anniversaries" to even track.

When "merely going home" throws you into flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks for days to weeks!

When you can't develop attachments without intense therapy and LOTS of time and patience on both sides.

When you discover what you knew and thought to be "normal family and relationships" is so severely abnormal, you don't even know what "normal" parents, grandparents, cousins, affection and kindness looks like.

When you're entire life touch was always painful and scary and now that you're free, you still expect it to be painful and scary. You're confused by kind and gentle touch....

 

[angrypanda]

When you inner voice is really just everything they told you to believe about yourself because you never had the opportunity to develop independent self image.

When you grow up self harming from preschool age because you were taught it by an abuser. I don't remember ever NOT self harming.

When you can't think of a time in your life you felt truly safe and wonder if you ever will

When you realize it's not "normal" do want to be done with this life. I've always wanted to be done.

When you could answer this thread ALL DAMN DAY!

 

[Friday]

When mentioning one type of trauma as opposed to type of trauma you struggle more often with cheers you up...

Was so just about to write this! :p

Also (on a theme)

- When you're grateful for 1 type of trauma, or 1 situation, because it made this other trauma over here, way easier to handle.

- When people mistake ^^^ for you're glad #1 happened, period. No, you effing idiot. I'd rather none of it did! But since #2 happened, glad #1 came first in the order. Cause 46 & 52? Those came in the f*cking worst order possible. If things are gonna be f*cked up? Might as well have the decency to to come at a useful time.

- When "you must be at least this tall to ride this ride". Snort. Sorry, Little Bitty Trauma. You don't even begin to meet the height requirements for my personal list of f*cked up shit. Go back. Try again. Next time with feeling, maybe. Put your back into it.

- When someone asks you about X, & you reply "Which time?" Or "Well it depends on when you're talking about." Or "Well, that time.... But it was this other time over here was the really gnarly/funny/better relating one."

- When your funny stories make people all :eek: & there there you poor thing. WTF? I'm talking about good times, not dark shit! Yeesh. Talking. Gotta stop doing that.

- When, in order to talk about Z? There are 26 other letters that come first to make Z make sense. Not. Worth. The. Effort. So mum on Z. Lol. Or worse. Trying to say all 26 things simultaneously and it comes out as "And the, well, but, when, before, I don't, but well maybe, I, no, the, and... Motherf*cker. I give up. Stuff. Things. Places. People. Pick noun. I can't do this anymore."

- When the things that hurt the worst... Are in their own separate little category, and bloody everything has a damn hook in them... Trying to ease the pressure over here, which snarls up that piece, so gotta mess with those now. f*ck. All tangled. f*ck f*ck f*ck.

- When "It could be worse." is a personal motto :p

- And most of it? Wasn't really that bad.

 

[Panda Bear]

When some idiot lets the microwave go until it beeps.......