Now that you're a few days past... How did it go/ what did you learn/ anything you want to remember for next year (to do or not to do)?
Me'self... When I can remember (and that's a thing for me, I'm often caught surprised by anniversaries because I start disassociating & compartmentalizing early, so working on not doing that helps!)...
- Bleed stress in advance. Extra exercise. Extra downtime. Extra sleep. Extra food. In the days leading up to what is often a hard time, I often don't notice my self-care slipping, but it usually does. Even if it isn't? My normal levels are not enough to deal with the added stress. So intentionally taking the time to lower my stress levels, to vent as much stress as possible? Helps tremendously.
- Contingency plans. I can be the most zen motherf*cker on the planet, prepping in advance, and still get hit with a brick to the face and need to be flat out for a day. Conversely, my energy & mood may be through the roof, and having a lie in? Can be the worst idea ever (all that energy focused more and more on why I am not out & doing). As such, in an ideal world, I make multiple plans. I might drive up to the mountains and find some powder. I might take a couple Valium and go to bed. I might have a gaming day, or social day, or whatever. Regardless... Multiple plans to deal with my mood & mindset as it comes, instead of trying to force myself a different direction.
- Limit the damage. (Relationships) I can be a proper c*nt to the people I love best when my mood is all over the damn place, and anniversaries send me sideways. It is paramount to me to protect those relationships. If I know I'm being a bastard in general? Keep my damn mouth shut in the moment. Add layers of filters. Be nice. Not because I feel like it, but because I'm choosing to. The people in my life don't need me targeting them just because I'm feeling like biting someone. Alternatively, I go elsewhere, but sending people away tends to work a bit better. AKA, send my kids on a sleepover/camp/some kind of adventure, or my beaux out fishing/guys weekend/etc. Yep. Isolating in reverse ;) Sending people I love to go have fun keeps them out of my back blast area. Let's me be a grumbling miserable whiny little bitch to my heart's content without hurting anyone in the process. :D Love. It. Not the being miserable. The not only not fighting when I already feel like crap (and am usually spoiling for a fight), but the no-guilt because they're somewhere safe/fun/interesting & I know it.
- Limit the damage. (Me, myself, & I) This is a long and personal list that I won't go into that starts with handing over my passport (so I am at least confined to the continental United States), and continues on with other intentional hobbles that are point specific for not repeating shit I regret later, and ends with making readily available the useful/helpful/healthy alternatives. These are mostly learned by having f*cked something up in the past. So, given advance notice that I have a tendency for XYZ? Removing XYZ from being easily accessed or accomplished.
