Adjusting But Wondering

[medley29]

My honey is still wrestling with his PTSD episode pretty bad. I've spent a lot of time reading, discussing, and processing lately, and I've also started seeing a therapist myself. He is adjusting to new meds, and I'm not sure if they are helping. It's easier to be patient how that I know more about what he's suffering with.

I was sending a little short encouraging message everyday for a while, but I have eased back and am giving him some days in between without contact. I have made it clear that I'm not going anywhere, I just want him to get better. I have started working on my own issues like so many have suggested on this forum and that is helping. I spend time with friends, try to keep busy and do things I like to do.

My question is this: I haven't heard from my honey since Sunday. And then I messaged him and asked him if I could take my dog to play with his pups on Wednesday while he was at work. He said okay, so I went over and let our dogs play together. For those of you who isolate, is it normal to have a period of days where there's no contact with your loved ones? I don't push him to talk and I've learned not to expect a response. I'm just curious as to whether this is common among people who need to isolate.

Thank you in advance.

 

[Resilientbibliophile]

Hello,

Scribbling from the perspective of one who could certainly be termed a social isolate, a great many days can pass for me without strictly noticing that I'm not tending to social relations that otherwise call for maintenance. Without regular appearances of people in my life at normally designated times, the rhythm established within the space of the lives of the 'normative normal' people in my proximity simply isn't comparable.

I find I don't quite look at the time displayed on the wall in the same way, conceptions of 'normal hours' likewise do not apply, whereas if I'm holding onto hopes that some quite fundamentally rejuvenated social life consisting of many eclectic figures visiting or calling me will carry the weight of transforming my life for the good - I know I'm sunk! In short, my default P.T.S.D. setting is 'isolation', especially apart and away from social circumstances that have demonstrably triggered me in the past, whereas I'm closer to being at peace for not strictly relying on some moral boost to walk through the door.

If it helps at all, were someone to wonder why I'm not strictly holding my end up in relation to phoning regularly or going through the agreeable motions of maintaining ties that presumably I value, perhaps it's best to understand and appreciate that a certain protective emotional armor must be disassembled panel by panel before I (and others like myself) can find it within to discover or rediscover comfort in relation to comfortably engaging in being part of something larger than the self. Old defensive habits die hard surely. Hoping that this reply avails something to someone...

M.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

My honey is still wrestling with his PTSD episode pretty bad. I've spent a lot of time reading, discuss...

I definitely isolate especially when I am not doing well. There was a time in my past that I hardly left the house for over two years. I was in a very deep hole that time around.
I've been on leave from my job since August. I was going to therapy 5 days a week 9:30 - 3:30. Now I am going 3 days a week for half a day. If not for that, I wouldn't be bothering with anyone now.
For me relationships in general are difficult even when I'm not down in the rabbit hole.

 

[medley29]

He still goes to work everyday, and is working on setting up his stands for hunting season, which I'm glad to see. He has to have a lot of contact with other people at his job, so I imagine after a day full of that, he's pretty well spent or beyond.

He initiated the relationship when he wasn't manifesting any symptoms. When the doc changed his meds, he warned me that it probably "wouldn't be pretty." And it hasn't been. But I'm just trying to learn as much as I can and letting him know I'm here for him when he's ready.

 

[medley29]

He still goes to work everyday, and is working on setting up his stands for hunting season, which I'm glad to see. He has to have a lot of contact with other people at his job, so I imagine after a day full of that, he's pretty well spent or beyond.

He initiated the relationship when he wasn't manifesting any symptoms. When the doc changed his meds, he warned me that it probably "wouldn't be pretty." And it hasn't been. But I'm just trying to learn as much as I can and letting him know I'm here for him when he's ready.

 

[KwanYingirl]

While you're waiting for a miracle, I'd suggest you find activities that you enjoy. Fill your days with the things that brighten your outlook. Sorry to say that I think I married my ex because he is a loner and worked away three days a week so I had my quiet time and could tolerate a relationship in small doses. He complained that I couldn't just "be" and let the world unfold. I'm constantly vigilant and try to plan for every possible circumstance. It's no wonder we divorced...

 

[medley29]

He was doing really well a few weeks ago. No problems until the medicine change. I'm not sure this new medicine is helping him, so the doc may have to change it again. I'm trying to learn to take care of me right now. I'm no use to him if I'm a wreck too.

 

[journey31]

My honey is still wrestling with his PTSD episode pretty bad. I've spent a lot of time reading, discuss...

Mine is in full blown isolation. Like not even responding to texts.
From what I read it seems pretty common for them to isolate.

 

[medley29]

@journey31 Same here. If I ask a question like I did on Sunday, he will usually respond because I don't ask questions much. He has even retreated from social media, which he still used frequently until recently. I think that was his outlet to help the loneliness without any close contact, but now he doesn't even post on there much. Concerns me some. :unsure:

 

[journey31]

@journey31 Same here. If I ask a question like I did on Sunday, he will usually resp...

He isnt even responding to me. But is on Fb.

 

[medley29]

He isnt even responding to me. But is on Fb.

I wish that close contact with us didn't make things harder on them. I understand it does, so I'm trying to give him space. Some days that is easier than others.

 

[journey31]

I wish that close contact with us didn't make things harder on them. I understand it does, so I'm tryin...

Same here.