Does The Depression End?

[Panda Bear]

Just curious....

Will I always struggle with depression on some level? But maybe not in hefty waves like I do now?

I do not take any medication, though I have after kids(serious PPD) I always end up feeling like I should drive into oncoming traffic. I mean, I usually feel that way on some level....but with SSRI's its uncontrollable.

 

[Seasounds]

I think it varies. For me, I think I always will. I'm glad I have ways to manage it.

 

[Panda Bear]

@Saetva

What do you do to manage it?

I have therapy, exercise etc. But it weighs....

 

[ms spock]

That is a huge question, and I don't know the answer to it.

I have been severely depressed since I was a young child, and it deepened as a teenager and an emerging adult and then solidified even more when I was an adult. I would like to think one day I would not live with depression, but I don't know if that is my path, now I don't focus on that I focus on working on myself. Getting on top of the distorted cognitions - that is thoughts, feelings, perceptions and ideas - is a big focus in my life today. I have a continuing thread on that in social.

I have gone from the highest severest suicidal depression on the Burns scale down to having moderate depression, now I am aiming for mild depression. It has taken a lot of work, but it is really worth it.

It is not easy, but 1 minute per day is all you need to do. per day to start.

I would suggest the book, that I am so grateful that Anthony suggested, David Burns' book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. The Clinically Proven Drug Free Treatment for Depression". I didn't know that so much of my experience was depression before I read this book. I thought it was just me.

I have both the book, audiobook and CD of the "The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness" by Mark Williams, Jon Kabat-Zinn, John Teasdale and Zindel Seagal. And that does explain depression really, really well. It is possible to to change and heal, I think it is about finding what works for you and then doing it to create new neural pathways in your brain.

As well as challenging distorted cognitions - on a regular daily basis, doing Mindfulness for an hour, I also exercise at least two hours per day. I do things for my communities. I support other people in their recoveries. I run challenges on this forum. I do random acts of kindness. I also practice gratitude. I also spend time in nature and I go to therapy as well with a psychiatrist who is very good with psychotherapy with a keen interest in PTSD and Complex Trauma. Currently I am learning about and starting to practice self compassion. There are many avenues that you can explore to recover from depression.

 

[Friday]

For me, no. At least, not how I generally think of depression.

Do I have periods where I'm depressed? Yup. I almost never know it when I'm in it, I have to look for other signs :rolleyes: & keep tabs that way. From sleeping for weeks (or even months) on end for 20+ hours a day, to absolutely nothing being interesting or fun (except my walls, my walls are f*cking fascinating when I'm depressed, for gawd alone knows why). Can pretty much just go down the checklist for depression and tick boxes. Yep. Yep. Yep. Shit. I think I've gotten depressed again. Dammit.

For me'self though... It's a secondary thing. My natural state of affairs / what I normally kick up into when I'm in a tight spot is rage. Looking back? Each and every single time I've unleashed hell I completely and totally bypassed depression. :sneaky: And each and every single time I've turned that rage inwards instead of outwards? Oh f*ck. Here we go! Let's go wiggle our toes over the abyss. :banghead:

My first PTSD tailspin lasted about 5 years. All told, I was depressed for maaaaaaybe 3-6 months of it. Tops. Using a very generous estimate. This most recent tailspin has lasted 4 years so far, and I've had to deal with some pain in the ass f*cking serious depression for about 2 years of it. 1/20th-1/10th vs 1/2 ??? Huge damn difference there. Astronomical difference.

In between those two things? A little over a decade of virtually symptom free years. I wasn't depressed once, although I'd have short bouts of rage or emotion-free-zones.

Did I have down days, no matter what, during those 10 years? For sure. But I don't count those as depression-depression. They were just shit days. Everyone has those. They're just part of life. Today sucks, carry on.

So... For myself... I know that when I'm running symptom-hot I'm going to be struggling with rage &/or depression-depression. When my symptoms are well managed? I didn't. So I doubt that I will in the future, once I'm well managed, again.

 

[joeylittle]

I can say, for myself, that I will most likely never be clear of my depression; I also could not manage it without a combination of meds and DBT skills. I think that anyone with pervasive depression can make very good use of cognitive skills, CBT and DBT, for symptom management and abatement. I also believe that, if I could ever stop medication, I'd still need to use those skills daily.

 

[Panda Bear]

I have CBT skills, but don't use medication. @Ms Spock, I don't want therapy for the rest of my life, I'd like to to be done...some day. I do volunteer with our church, I love serving and it does keep me out of trouble.

Just curious, if I will always struggle with depression to a certain degree.

 

[ms spock]

It depends on a whole range of things @Panda Bear - what type of depression do you have? Whether your situation is safe to live in? If you have access to safe housing, appropriate trauma therapy, good social support, good health care, and those things may or may not be in our control. Some depressions can be biochemical, some can be situational - something may happen that sends you into depression. Living in a war zone wouldn't help depression. Growing up rarely not having depression would make it hard to live depression free as an adult. And there are other factors that may be out of your control, that I haven't thought of at this time.

However then there are the things that you can change. Are you willing to read the books and challenge your distorted cognitions? Are you willing to apply your CBT each and every day? Are you willing to do vigorous exercise each and every day? If you can't do vigorous exercise are you willing to do a gentle exercise each and every day? Are you willing to look at forms of Mindfulness and meditation that are suitable to your conditions? Are you willing to take medications for 12 months to have a break from serious depression? Are you able to have the self control to monitor your news watching, and keep it brief or cease it entirely if required? Are you able to have a purpose and contribute to your community? Are you willing to do the work that you need to stay well and depression free? I don't know. I am working really hard at all these things at this time.

I think it depends on you choosing your attitudes, busting apart the depressive thinking, going to therapy, having the ability to work hard at managing your depression/PTSD, and a bit of luck as well. Persistence, patience, perseverance, practice and dogged concentration.

You really are probably the only person that can really answer that question in reality @Panda Bear, except if you are in a major depression at this time, then your answers won't be reliable.

 

[Friday]

Just curious, if I will always struggle with depression to a certain degree.

For some people, yes; they will struggle with depression their whole lives. Much like PTSD, depression can be managed, but unlike PTSD, there are several very distinct forms of depression, which drastically shapes what that looks like / there's no easy answer as to what that's going to look like without knowing the type/form of depression. People with all forms of depression can get PTSD.

For some people, no; their depression is situational, and as the situation is remedied, so is their depression. Situational depression doesn't mean it's going to be "fast". It can and does often take years to resolve certain situations.

For some people, yes & no; their depression is secondary to something else, and it will come and go. How often or how long, very much depends on what it's secondary to.

Which group are you in? There's no way for any of us to know.

You really are probably the only person that can really answer that question in reality Link Removed, except if you are in a major depression at this time, then your answers won't be reliable.

^^^^
This.

Depression lies.

 

[Panda Bear]

My depression is cyclical and situational. It goes with the time of year the trauma happened. It seems to have gotten worse before it's gotten better. But I guess that's because the more I deal with my trauma, that's to be expected. It also is tipped off major events that re-trigger my PTSD symptoms. Like having kids and being in the hospital caused a spiral of depression from my CSA, etc.