How To Hold On

[Bek1929]

hey my hubby has ptsd and anxiety etc. I struggle to deal with the mood swings tamper outbursts and verbal abuse but the other day our argument got way out of hand he tried to grab our 9 month old from my arms he was pushing to my head and grabbing n squeezing my arm I feel ashamed that it got like that I never thought in a million years he'd lay a finger on me i just don't know how much more I can take when is enough enough

 

[Justmehere]

Physical aggression like that is not ok. It's not your fault he did that, no matter how much you were arguing back.

 

[Bek1929]

Physical aggression like that is not ok. It's not your fault he did that, no matter how much you were...

I know it's not my fault I did nothing wrong
The whole situation is just hard

 

[firebloodteeth]

Bek1929, I just want to say that what he did is ABSOLUTELY NOT OK, and you should not feel ashamed because it is not your fault. That being said, do you have a safe place you can go? Because if he is physical, he will be again. And next time may be worse.

 

[seedling]

Your 9 month old is soaking all of this up on a very visceral level. Please keep your child's safety and emotional wellness paramount in your decisions and actions.
This is a tough situation for anyone, let alone a mother with a young child. I think it is enough now. Please stay safe.

 

[Bek1929]

Wow I'm glad I have my parents for support because you people are coming across very judgemental I'm actually sorry I posted at all

 

[Born to Run]

I just see supportive realistic replies from other members above. I am not sure what you experience as judgemental, as everyone supports you in your difficult situation. It sounds serious to me from how you describe your situation, is it not?

 

[firebloodteeth]

Wow I'm glad I have my parents for support because you people are coming across very judgemental I'm act...

Sorry if what I said offended you, that was not my intention at all. It's true that no one here knows your situation better than you do, and we are in no way trying to tell you what to do. Could it be that we are telling you something you really don't want to hear? What sort of responses do you prefer? Many of us here are familiar with domestic violence and its repetitive cycles. Sadly, it is not that uncommon... 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will experience it in their lifetime. And people who have experienced it before know that it is very likely to happen again. And that it can even escalate. We are mainly concerned here for your safety, and from what you wrote it sounds as if your safety is at immediate risk. Sorry if that was a misinterpretation.

 

[joeylittle]

i just don't know how much more I can take when is enough enough

I think, what you are reading from other posters on this thread is just that this:

he tried to grab our 9 month old from my arms he was pushing to my head and grabbing n squeezing my arm

Might be when it was enough - and that you would be 100% justified in taking yourself and your child away from your husband for a time, in order for you and your kid to stay safe while he gets some medical help.

I feel ashamed that it got like that I never thought in a million years he'd lay a finger on me

Please try and not feel shame. You're not the cause of this, as you said earlier - but more importantly, you're not responsible for making sure he doesn't get stressed out. It does sound like it's time for him to get therapeutic support.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Please be safe. Is your husband getting treatment?

 

[Bek1929]

Please be safe. Is your husband getting treatment?

Yea he is and we r safe he new as soon as he laid a finger on me he f*cked up and is working hard on himself to be better for us

 

[Sweetpea76]

I'm not dogging your husband. I love a PTSD sufferer very much also. He can lash out too.... Verbally most of the time. Sometimes he breaks things or throws things. He has learned to check his aggression more as time goes by, and he has never laid a hand on me. I don't think he would ever hurt me, but I still have to keep myself safe. Lashing out can escalate easily.

There is a right way to handle these episodes. Setting your boundary, reinforcing your boundary, refusing to engage, and removing yourself from the situation until things calm down.