Sexual Assault Just Wondering What The Difference Is

[Forgetful]

I am wondering what the difference is between rape, sexual assault, molestation and sexual abuse.

Personally I was raped but I hate that word. I'm trying to see if i can use another word, although I don't think any of those words apply either.

 

[Justmehere]

I really dislike using the word "rape" too.

what the difference is between rape, sexual assault, molestation and sexual abuse.

Rape is the most specific term, meaning unwanted penetration of one kind or another.

Sexual assault (and sexual abuse and molestation) are general categories that include all unwanted sexual contact, everything from fondling to rape.

Not all sexual abuse includes rape, but rape is a form of sexual abuse, or sexual assault. Same for sexual assault and molestation. They can include rape, but someone can also be sexually assaulted without being raped.

Legally, in the US, molestation is the crime of any sexual acts (from fondling to rape) with someone under the age of 18. Casually (outside of a courtroom), and professionally (like in therapy), the term molestation is most often used when talking about children.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Personally I was raped but I hate that word.

Reason to hate the word. I have no confusion about the word, its impact, precise. Why we hate rape.

 

[HoosierGal]

I was raped too. Its a hard word to say. I still sometimes don't want to say it, but it's also important to say. I used to try to find other words, but over the years my loved ones and therapists have gently reminded me that there is empowerment in being able to call a rape what it really is.

As one if my favorite authors, JK Rowling, wrote in the Harry Potter books:
"Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself."

Even though it's from a children's book, there's a lot of truth in it.

 

[Recovery4Me]

I am wondering what the difference is between rape, sexual assault, molestation and sexual abuse.

Takes deep breath and gets ready for flack...:nailbiting: Did you bring it up to your Therapist? Curiosity concerning semantics of degrees or flavors of violation can be indicative of an underpinning of needed movement.

There is not a kinder word set of words for those violent crimes.:hug: However there are many resources in the library, crisis centers, mental health, government sites as well as the net for clarity. Sending inner peace, respect and courage to you as you go forward.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I am wondering what the difference is between rape, sexual assault, molestation and sexual abuse

Not much. Rape and sexual assult is generally the same; sexual abuse is usually a term for sexual things done to a child but not always and molestation is fondling, oral, usualy excludes intercourse/penatration but the tramas are usually all the same.

 

[Forgetful]

Thank you for all of the replies.

@Hoosier I like the quore. I'll be adding that to my affirmation list.

@Recovery4Me I will mention this to Pdoc tomorrow.
I don't understand what you mean "underpinning of needed movement". Can you please explain?

 

[joeylittle]

I am wondering what the difference is between rape, sexual assault, molestation and sexual abuse.

In legal terms -

• Sexual assault is the umbrella term for all forms of unwanted sex-related abuse or attack. Rape,. molestation, abuse are all forms of sexual assault.
• Rape is usually considered to be the penetration of one being by another forcibly using ones person or an object. However, in some states the degrees of rape go beyond whether or not there was penetration involved.
• Molestation is generally the term used for sexual abuse or assault of a minor. The connotation doesn't necessarily include 'rape', and in many states is limited to describing fondling, grooming, and other behaviors.
• Sexual abuse is a form of sexual assault that is generally broken into two categories - child sexual abuse/assault (CSA) and just sexual abuse, pertaining to adults. By itself, it's not commonly a legal term (though it is, I think, in some states/other countries - I'm writing from a US perspective) - but it is a descriptor used in many sexual assault cases. For example, molestation may be defined as 'the sexual abuse of a minor', and then go on to have more details.

I suspect most people understand sexual assault as 'everything but rape' - which isn't really accurate (though I know I used to think of it that way).

What's important is your relationship to what happened to you. I am uncomfortable using certain words to describe what happened to me, and my therapist thinks it's important that I accept and use those words. Sometimes, I don't use them because I don't think what happened to me was 'as bad' as it is usually thought of. Technically I was abducted/kidnapped, but it was not as long a period as months, or years. So I feel strange saying I was kidnapped. I always want to say that it was 'not as bad' as what kidnapped people live through.

I'm usually OK with saying I was 'taken' - and I know that is my substitute word, and that I'm using it because the correct word is too much for me right now, but hopefully (eventually) I'll be OK with using the right word.

These things take time. As long as you are upfront with your therapist about where your discomfort comes from, and you understand that you are giving yourself time to get used to calling it what it was - as opposed to trying to diminish what it was - then I don't think you are hurting your own recovery. But if you want to diminish it by calling it 'assault' instead of 'sexual assault' or 'rape', then it's important that you work on acknowledging that what happened to you was a really shitty thing.

 

[Kintsugi]

I usually say "sexually abused" when I'm trying to be polite about it. I know that those listening to me generally don't want to hear the word "rape," especially considering how extremely young I was.

I think this is interesting, though, because saying that I was raped as a child... sort of validated my experience. When I first disclosed my abuse at fourteen, my parents were deeply in denial in spite of my abuser confessing. After they came slightly out of denial, they went straight to minimization. They didn't have any details (and still barely do), and it seemed they were envisioning a one-time fondling incident, not at least a couple of years of rape.

I know it's a hard word to integrate into personal experience/identity. It is. And I respect that you are struggling. I just wanted to toss in my experience as something of a counterpoint, a different way to think about it. @Changeling is right... it is excruciatingly precise.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Link Removed I will mention this to Pdoc tomorrow.
I don't understand what you mean "underpinning of needed movement". Can you please explain?

Joey nailed your above question with paragraph below. That is what I was trying to nudge you to discuss with your T (((hugs)))

These things take time. As long as you are upfront with your therapist about where your discomfort comes from, and you understand that you are giving yourself time to get used to calling it what it was - as opposed to trying to diminish what it was - then I don't think you are hurting your own recovery. But if you want to diminish it by calling it 'assault' instead of 'sexual assault' or 'rape', then it's important that you work on acknowledging that what happened to you was a really shitty thing.

:tup: You are so darn impressive to me. Just thought you should know, I didn't want to dance there. You are one fantastic teacher.:hug:

 

[RussH]

Another thing to consider when using the terminology is this: If you use the word rape, you are in no way indicting yourself, nor are you diminishing your value as a person. What you are doing is making the statement that your attacker is, in fact, a rapist, and as such he have very little value as a person.

What happened to you is horrible. I truly hope you will be able to recover and live a wonderful life.

 

[pamcoco]

I was raped too. Its a hard word to say. I still sometimes don't want to say it, but it's also important to say. I used to try to find other words............ there is empowerment in being able to call a rape what it really is.

I agree wholeheartedly and very well put!!!!

The fear of the word feels very similar to the fact that people cringe when I utter the word. Someone recently lectured me that she could no longer tolerate me since all I talk about is rape. There is no truth to this, but I do believe it feels to her like I only talk about rape, because that's how very uncomfortable the subject/word is.

Until this word places shame upon the perps and those that perpetuate silence, I believe, as a victim, I should "shout" it at the top of my lungs. This commitment to discomfort is a benefit of my PTSD, I no longer risk a fall from grace. So, F that. Bring it. RAPE RAPE RAPE.

There's a movie (not sure if I am supposed to name it) where a victim tattoos 'I AM A RAPIST PIG' on the chest of the perp. 'Do you doubt what they say about me?' she asks, 'They're right, I AM INSANE.' An ironic juxtaposition before the man that brutally attacked her, she's the crazy one. Therein lies the problem.