Medical Botched Circumcision

[Anarchy]

I've given more than just an outline of what I strongly suspect (due to how much it used to trigger me into dissociation if it was mention and the continuing physical pain it causes me) was one of the early events that likely predisposed me to land here on this forum.

I'm on the road and on a tablet for a few days. I haven,t worked out how to copy and paste from @missbliss baby boomers thread to here. I'll do that when I'm at a desktop.

Until then, please put replies that are more specific to genital mutilation here, rather than on the baby boomers thread.

 

[scout86]

Can I say "ouch"? I have no doubt what you experienced was a very real trauma. The whole "babies don't feel pain" thing has always been a bit beyond comprehension. I can't imagine why anyone would THINK that? Like the nerve endings aren't there? Give me a break!

 

[Anarchy]

Hi Scout, thanks. Yeah, only two sessions of foolish medical incompetence with mine, I gather that it was when I was about six months old. My mum says that I was starting to talk when I was 9 months old and could talk quite well at 12 months. I'd completely stopped wetting the bed at night by about 9 months too- it must have been too painful to pee through the ulcer at the tip

Can I say "ouch"? ...The whole "babies don't feel pain" thing has always been a bit beyond comprehension. I can't imagine why anyone would THINK that? Like the nerve endings aren't there? Give me a break!

You certainly can say ouch, still bloody well hurts half a century later. I only just got to wondering whether some of that is body memory. Part is probably cognitive too.
Apparently it goes back to Descartes and one of the suppositions incorrectly drawn from his "I think therefore I am" which runs along the lines of it doesn't speak, therefore it doesn't think, therefore there is nothing in there for the messages those nerves are sending to get felt by.

I think it is also quite easy to fall for the false interpretation of the child or animal's response. "Look, it only cried for a few seconds, now it's calm and resting, and it didn't really bleed. when what has happened is it has gone into shock, its brain is flooded with endorphins and has completely dissociated and its body has gone into shut down mode ready to keep blood from leaking from any more wounds.

 

[Nam]

I worked in Labor and Delivery. Luckily, my job wasn't assisting in circs. However, I had to witness a few of them and then I flat out said I would never, ever go back in there. It bothered me so...and this was before my memories had started to return. After that, I barely could work; being anywhere near someone in physical pain was rough. There is so much ignorance around this issue. So many lies from the medical professionals to unsuspecting mothers and fathers. It is sad and makes me so angry. It's hard to bring up with my own friends that had baby boys. My advice is to just see one. Usually that does it. Because it is horrific. It's where violence and sexuality first meet.

I'm so sorry you had this done and I'm even more sorry that it was botched. I am glad you are alive, sir. We had a few with transfusions where I worked...so I know that there are major risks. I don't know what to say for you do to but just want you to know that I feel for you. If it continues to hurt you, I suggest you work with a doctor that has the same views as you. There certainly are very bad circs...with painful, physical consequences later in life. Please research to make sure that the pain is not physical in nature.

 

[Anarchy]

Here's the link to the post in @missbliss thread, describing what happened to me.
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/baby-boomers-got-a-rough-deal-no-doubt.49366/#post-785685

 

[Anarchy]

Thanks for your kindness @Nam :hug:

I did get it checked out (back about 96 or 97), I explained the before and after of the injury, and the pain (like being stung by nettles) and the urologist had the ignorance and arrogance to tell me there was nothing wrong with it.

 

[Nikie]

There is so much stuff I read on missbliss thread I would like to quote..

I think about any medical thing NOTING they lie and are layed to .. We don't have a clue what's in the medication they give us..

And I do understand your situation a lot better. You explained it well with not to much info :) .

The sad part is if you go for a hair cut and they'd mess up, it grow back.. But these stuff never grow back and this is shit we have to live with the rest of your life. Its not like a broken bone that heal. Its the pain that reminds you everyday of what you went trough ..

:hug:'s... wish there was some home remedy I could tell you about to make this better.

 

[stillstanding2]

please put replies that are more specific to genital mutilation here, rather than on the baby boomers thread.

OK, @Anarchy, you've done it now! I just noticed this thread, and I'm almost afraid to further it, since it is HUGE. There is another support forum which I read for a while, until I became overwhelmed by the scope of it.

Yet it affects millions of men, and is the secret key to many men's darkest original traumas. It is so secret that exposure has led to many suicides, yet even my own excellent therapist had never heard of it until I told her. Some other professionals, even urologists, have failed to grasp its long-term trauma.

It's your thread to run with and name. I was not sure if I could ever introduce it on my own behalf. Now, I may discuss my own experience, probably in pieces, If you are not just talking about circumcision, but also of genital birth defects needing "correction", I'll stay with you.

I'll let this message sit for a while, before deciding to send it.

 

[Anarchy]

@stillstanding sending you big hugs. Also thanks for your support of other members.

Yes, the closest traumas here to that one of mine ( and arguably far more extreme, I know we don't compare traumas, they only had to be subjectively "bad enough" but hell, they're bad!) include " corrective surgery " on genitals.

We also have at least three pre- op f> m trans folks here that I'm aware of.

Let's run with it!

@

 

[stillstanding2]

OK, @Anarchy, you've done it now! I just noticed this thread, and I'm almost...

@Anarchy, I just noticed that your posts on the above subject date to 2014. I hope I didn't open an old, painful subject unnecessarily. My problem was another "birth anomaly", with surgeries/infections/shame/fear at crucial stages in my development and you know... Proof of having been born a "freak".

 

[Anarchy]

Hugs stillstanding.
None of us had any control application how we were born, or what was done to us by those who could.
Here's where we accept ourselves and each other, just as we are, and pal up to become the best versions of us that our nature allows.

I'm also seriously freaked out by lobotomy, and have a hole in my skull consistent with that, but haven't verified whether that happened or not. Trauma is a seriously f*ckedup rabbit hole.

No you haven't triggered anything
The thread was from within a few months of me accepting that I belong here, and I had only realised a few weeks before I started the thread, that what I felt whenever genital mutilation was mentioned, was me being triggered.

My response on miss Bliss' thread came out as something of a written blurt, but it's out there now.

So yeah, no apologies necessary, and I'd be happy for this thread to be used as a base for planning a more inclusive genital mutilation and modification thread.

I'll try to give the "guys" who I know who have genital and gender issues, the heads up over the next few days.
@

 

[stillstanding2]

@stillstanding sending you big hugs. Also thanks for your support of other members....

OK, here goes. First let me say that I am totally male, physically, mentally, genetically, emotionally, and stubbornly. My condition was hypospadias with chordee. Hah! My spell check doesn't even recognize the terms, they are so hush-hush. Yet it is estimated by some that one in every 300 live male births will have the conditions. (More about those stats later.)

Hypospadias is a condition whereby the urethra opens on the shaft of the penis, sometimes as far back as the testicles. Chordee is an unusual downward curl of the penis, caused by tighter-than-normal skin on the under side of the shaft, where the urethra normally should be. There are degrees of severity. Mine was "bad enough". I could not stand to pee without spraying the floor.

There is still debate over what causes the condition, ranging from hormonal or nutritional deficiencies in the mother, pesticides, or genetics. But that matters little for right now.

Compounding those problems was that I had other "anomalies" which could not stay hidden in my pants. One of those is congenital nystagmus, an uncontollable back and forth movement of my eyes, and very poor vision. Without glasses (another story) I was legally blind.

From the eye problem, I learned as a toddler what it was like to be ridiculed and bullied for being different. From that alone, I became fearful and horribly withdrawn. And I felt that if anyone learned about my hypospadias, I would be tortured as more of a freak.

These days, when a boy is born with hypospadias, doctors try to "repair" the problem sometimes within weeks of birth. But I'm an old man, having been born in 1946, when pediatric surgery was almost Medieval. My parents were poor anyway, so I didn't have even the first surgery until the summer before I started school at seven.

So I still have vivid memories of the terror and shame I felt, before, during and afterward. Surgery was meant to be in three stages with healing time in between, and I was not told at the beginning what to expect. Not even my parents fully understood that, much less the effect on me.

I'm OK, but I'm going to take a break here. I'll send this though, so I don't chicken out.