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Deleted member 32655
Hello, I'm in my 40's now. My father abused my mother, she eventually passed away due to CTE, most likely. She was my best friend. At that time I was away at boarding school where my older sister & her friends terrorized me daily. I felt dead. My father buried my mother then it was my turn & the 2/3 weekly unprovoked punches to my head began. I had no friends or family who cared, my father scared them away. I broke away in my 20's. I had short relationships. I gained my amazing son, but his father left & traumatised me through my pregnancy. He then wanted to return to try again, I refused as could cope with his indecisiveness. He then met a woman who knew he loved me & they both started to bully & punish me, usingy son. My son had a vaccine reaction & (now 16) has been ill every few weeks for 16 days. It's heartbreaking, isolating. I cut my father out 12 yrs ago. He still writes & sends nasty mind messing letters, "The pen is mightier than the sword" is his motto, he's evil. I work two days a week & finally for a loving company. Previous jobs I have been bitched to, ignored, set up - I dress well, am polite & hardworking, women hate me. Men objectify.
Last year my son had a terrifying reaction to medication & no medic stepped up and took action. I had to treat him myself, dressing burns, comforting him. His mouth was burnt. He couldn't open it. It was horrific. This triggered my PTSD and I recently realised I have always had PTSD from a very young age. I have flashbacks. I don't drink or smoke & I find when my son is well I go to the gym, walk, I sit in the chapel & gain strength. My son has been ill since baby & we have just gained diagnosis, but I had to take him away from the "experts" treating him to do so. It's been hell. I had to Make brave decisions, research hard, deduce & wean him off the medication which was not helping & which he became addicted to & reacted to. The medics acknowledged this after. I had to stand up to them & present facts to be greeted with "who else is at home?" And "where's Dad?" So rude & this hit me hard. Once I hit on the diagnosis I presented it & demanded correct referral. We gained it & the correct diagnosis.
Whilst enduring this I was bullied in a shop by nasty beauty counter woman & wrongly escorted out & not allowed to collect anaesthetic I needed. I had to report this and meet to express the impact of their actions. The woman was found to have a history & fired.
I'd also been bullied by a man I worked with who when I stood up to him would get worse. The boss was smitten & my son ill & I eventually found my Current job & left.
I had a severe migraine in gym (my sanctuary) and was left unable to walk or speak for an hour, stroke like. Stress & their new lights. The boss chose not to call a medic & instead a PT took notes. Once I could almost walk they put me into a taxi. I was terrified. I took Myself to hospital and had MRI & EEG. My son was also ill at this time.
I am hoping I can find help. I am strong, kind, caring, loving but I just feel numb. The main traumas were my Mum dying, father being mentally &
Physically violent and my son being ill so ill. We have no support. Few friends. I tried counselling as wanted to find how to deal with seeing my son ill & the heartbreak. I die inside everytime he is ill.
I am now without a social life & few friends. I avoid everything as can only cope with focusing on my son as to experience anything such as the gym situation or beauty counter bitching again worries me. I look down all the time and I don't speak unless I have to. Although, when I'm at work & it's just me and my 70yr old boss I am in heaven. He's kind funny & caring. He has restored my faith in mankind & men.
I'm sure when I read others intros mine will seem mild. I will hope to support others.
I'm not a victim. Just a gentle person.
Thank you.
Last year my son had a terrifying reaction to medication & no medic stepped up and took action. I had to treat him myself, dressing burns, comforting him. His mouth was burnt. He couldn't open it. It was horrific. This triggered my PTSD and I recently realised I have always had PTSD from a very young age. I have flashbacks. I don't drink or smoke & I find when my son is well I go to the gym, walk, I sit in the chapel & gain strength. My son has been ill since baby & we have just gained diagnosis, but I had to take him away from the "experts" treating him to do so. It's been hell. I had to Make brave decisions, research hard, deduce & wean him off the medication which was not helping & which he became addicted to & reacted to. The medics acknowledged this after. I had to stand up to them & present facts to be greeted with "who else is at home?" And "where's Dad?" So rude & this hit me hard. Once I hit on the diagnosis I presented it & demanded correct referral. We gained it & the correct diagnosis.
Whilst enduring this I was bullied in a shop by nasty beauty counter woman & wrongly escorted out & not allowed to collect anaesthetic I needed. I had to report this and meet to express the impact of their actions. The woman was found to have a history & fired.
I'd also been bullied by a man I worked with who when I stood up to him would get worse. The boss was smitten & my son ill & I eventually found my Current job & left.
I had a severe migraine in gym (my sanctuary) and was left unable to walk or speak for an hour, stroke like. Stress & their new lights. The boss chose not to call a medic & instead a PT took notes. Once I could almost walk they put me into a taxi. I was terrified. I took Myself to hospital and had MRI & EEG. My son was also ill at this time.
I am hoping I can find help. I am strong, kind, caring, loving but I just feel numb. The main traumas were my Mum dying, father being mentally &
Physically violent and my son being ill so ill. We have no support. Few friends. I tried counselling as wanted to find how to deal with seeing my son ill & the heartbreak. I die inside everytime he is ill.
I am now without a social life & few friends. I avoid everything as can only cope with focusing on my son as to experience anything such as the gym situation or beauty counter bitching again worries me. I look down all the time and I don't speak unless I have to. Although, when I'm at work & it's just me and my 70yr old boss I am in heaven. He's kind funny & caring. He has restored my faith in mankind & men.
I'm sure when I read others intros mine will seem mild. I will hope to support others.
I'm not a victim. Just a gentle person.
Thank you.
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