I wouldn't worry about that to much, as I feel everyone does that sometimes. Eventually we will feel that way as it gets easier with "practice". ;)
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Sufferer Introduction Of Me & Companion Ptsd
- Thread starter Bloomy
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Saria
Silver Member
Yes, I am :) I haven't read the book you mentioned, but I've read "Dissosiasjon og relasjonstraumer" by the same authors a couple of years ago. Meaning to the chaos is always welcome, so thanks, I'll check it out.
I've pretty much internalized my previous therapists voice too, and I'd say use it for whatever it's worth. At first I felt silly for being so attached to her and for the need to remind myself of her voice and our past conversations if I felt down. But I've come to realize that through her, even if she's no longer my therapist, I may be able to cultivate some sort of acceptance of myself, and that attachment isn't dangerous or disgusting. I just wish I could get a similar alliance with my new current therapist, btu unfortunately I don't think we're a good match. How about you? Have you been in therapy with your current therapist a while now? And if so, do you find that you compare him/her with your previous one? I find it hard not to, even though I know I probably should'nt.
- Thread starter
- #15
Ive decided in 2016 to read more about ptsd to help myself understand my reactions better and enable support healing. Ie sort the chaotic :)
I dont know how it was with you mom, but my "mom" never gave motherly love and care. The lack of love is also the lack of learning self care. So its not silly to internalize our therapist. Its healing. Its the accept one should have had in the childhood.
Had a clearing conversation at the last session. Therapist admitted that things she says to me sometimes is not good at all. She admitted she feel pushed and becomes uncomfortale. I had the intuition about it since I know my trauma can easily become to severe for many to handle. So we kinda agree she will only be my supporrt in getting full time job and get back to school. So thats the answer to if we get along or not. I think people with ptsd is very sensitive. We can catch if a person speak with sharp voice despite trying to hide it or a voice with corners. We can easily distinguish tone. My formers therapist had a soft voice. Which didnt create any trigger og resictance in me. Body language is also a thing. I had one that locked her self totally from me with arms and legs. And then called me aggressive. Is there something like this you react upon with your therapist? Why you didnt continue with the old one?
I dont know how it was with you mom, but my "mom" never gave motherly love and care. The lack of love is also the lack of learning self care. So its not silly to internalize our therapist. Its healing. Its the accept one should have had in the childhood.
Had a clearing conversation at the last session. Therapist admitted that things she says to me sometimes is not good at all. She admitted she feel pushed and becomes uncomfortale. I had the intuition about it since I know my trauma can easily become to severe for many to handle. So we kinda agree she will only be my supporrt in getting full time job and get back to school. So thats the answer to if we get along or not. I think people with ptsd is very sensitive. We can catch if a person speak with sharp voice despite trying to hide it or a voice with corners. We can easily distinguish tone. My formers therapist had a soft voice. Which didnt create any trigger og resictance in me. Body language is also a thing. I had one that locked her self totally from me with arms and legs. And then called me aggressive. Is there something like this you react upon with your therapist? Why you didnt continue with the old one?
Saria
Silver Member
Sounds like a good idea @Bloomy :)
Yeah, it's the same here. It's hard to learn something that noone ever taught you. Thanks for your wise words.
A therapist that feels pushed and says unhelpful stuff doesn't sound too healing.. but at least you can talk about it with her, so I guess that's something? Have you considered getting a referral to a psychologist that has experience with trauma? Depends on where in the country you're living, but I know at least Modum Bad and several other places has therapists that specialize in trauma, particularly complex trauma/relational trauma. But sounds like you made some sort of agreement with your therapist the last session, so I guess that's good if you feel like that's what you need to get better? Working full time and getting back to school does sound like a lot though. But you probably won't do both at the same time I guess. I'm on social welfare myself, and feel that I do need the time off to get better. But I understand that healing can happen simultaneously as having a full time job as well, if you have the energy for it.
Yes, I agree, body language and tone of voice means a lot. Sounds like we both need an open, caring and sensitive therapist. I had to change when I moved to another city. The one I have now is just really really stressed out. She talks constantly and interrupts me a lot, it feels like she's hyperventilating the whole session. I've met her about 5 times and was hoping she would relax and that it would get better after a while, but it doesn't really seem like it. But the waiting lists are like 6 months for a new psychologist now, so we'll just see how it goes. I still hope she'll calm down once we get to know each other better. Why did you get a new therapist?
Yeah, it's the same here. It's hard to learn something that noone ever taught you. Thanks for your wise words.
A therapist that feels pushed and says unhelpful stuff doesn't sound too healing.. but at least you can talk about it with her, so I guess that's something? Have you considered getting a referral to a psychologist that has experience with trauma? Depends on where in the country you're living, but I know at least Modum Bad and several other places has therapists that specialize in trauma, particularly complex trauma/relational trauma. But sounds like you made some sort of agreement with your therapist the last session, so I guess that's good if you feel like that's what you need to get better? Working full time and getting back to school does sound like a lot though. But you probably won't do both at the same time I guess. I'm on social welfare myself, and feel that I do need the time off to get better. But I understand that healing can happen simultaneously as having a full time job as well, if you have the energy for it.
Yes, I agree, body language and tone of voice means a lot. Sounds like we both need an open, caring and sensitive therapist. I had to change when I moved to another city. The one I have now is just really really stressed out. She talks constantly and interrupts me a lot, it feels like she's hyperventilating the whole session. I've met her about 5 times and was hoping she would relax and that it would get better after a while, but it doesn't really seem like it. But the waiting lists are like 6 months for a new psychologist now, so we'll just see how it goes. I still hope she'll calm down once we get to know each other better. Why did you get a new therapist?
- Thread starter
- #17
I got rejected at Modum twice. I went to a trauma therapist and she said I was to ill for her to take me on. Well that was beacause her office were right beside the place I was abused for years and years so location triggered everything within me. This area is usually a no go to me since perpetrator is still there. Ive tried a lot since its been my childhood promise to myself. Now I realise that without money I cant get what I need. Those that are qualified cost money. The official sector can rarely offer someone with real expertice on this. As you know in Norway traumas are just recently taken seriously as a part of people that dont manage their lives and end up in welfare. And now norwegian goverment has put down two trauma senters like Malvik and the one up north. So its taken seriously by people in quest, but not really by government it seems.
So this is also why Im fighting for work and education. Social welfare for me is not a place of healing. Its a place of utter despair. An economy that contionously destabilize living on the verge of total poverty. I think if I can get financial stabile and secure and have a education that counts I can sometime in the future take time to go to real trauma therapi. But first I must get secure. And stabilized.
My sensitive therapist got cancer and had to quit. It was really hard period. We had just come to some serious stuff and then - nothing... You therapist doesnt sound to me like the right one for you. What does she talk about when she constantly babble? A person with PTSD dosnt need another to be stressed. We allready have our alarm system ticking and having someone else that is supposed to help you doesnt really help. She doesnt either sound like she has insight in herself and someone with trauma need that more then any. Yes and its the waiting list. So as I said above - i dont belive in getting the help I need anymore if I dont have money to pay for it. So I have decided I can not stay in this PTSD trap anymore and I must seize the journey of healing on my own. No matter how hard. To be on this sight helps me tremendous which Im grateful for.
Oh well - I probaly cant heal myself 100 %, but I try to belive I can move ahead and try to do the things that will assist it.
What dreams do you have for your future? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What do you really want? How ill do you see yourself today? And what do you think could help you heal?
Many questions at the and no obligation to answer :-)
So this is also why Im fighting for work and education. Social welfare for me is not a place of healing. Its a place of utter despair. An economy that contionously destabilize living on the verge of total poverty. I think if I can get financial stabile and secure and have a education that counts I can sometime in the future take time to go to real trauma therapi. But first I must get secure. And stabilized.
My sensitive therapist got cancer and had to quit. It was really hard period. We had just come to some serious stuff and then - nothing... You therapist doesnt sound to me like the right one for you. What does she talk about when she constantly babble? A person with PTSD dosnt need another to be stressed. We allready have our alarm system ticking and having someone else that is supposed to help you doesnt really help. She doesnt either sound like she has insight in herself and someone with trauma need that more then any. Yes and its the waiting list. So as I said above - i dont belive in getting the help I need anymore if I dont have money to pay for it. So I have decided I can not stay in this PTSD trap anymore and I must seize the journey of healing on my own. No matter how hard. To be on this sight helps me tremendous which Im grateful for.
Oh well - I probaly cant heal myself 100 %, but I try to belive I can move ahead and try to do the things that will assist it.
What dreams do you have for your future? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What do you really want? How ill do you see yourself today? And what do you think could help you heal?
Many questions at the and no obligation to answer :-)
D
Deleted member 28403
That is a lot of stuff that happened. I'm sorry.
Welcome and hugs :hug:
See ya in chat, glad I read this, as it gives a bit more background to understanding
Welcome and hugs :hug:
See ya in chat, glad I read this, as it gives a bit more background to understanding
- Thread starter
- #20
I wrote just the highlights or maybe I should rather say the downlights....
Your words are a recognition of what has happened to me so thank you - means a lot.
See you in a chat or somewhere here :hug:
D
Deleted member 28403
@Bloomy
:hug: See ya
:hug: See ya
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