Hello at all!
First please be patient with my English - it's not my mother tongue
Since almost a half year I am in a "relationship" with a man with ptds. He comes from Syria and was tortured in prison. We both did not know that he has ptds when we get to know each other. The relation startet good except the physical issue. He had problems with kissing because - so he sad - this leads to sex and then automatically the relation would break. A long time I did not understand what he mean.... we celebrated with his friends silvester and he startet to get a little bit more physical- he hold me, kissed me and so on. But after every little step forward he pushed me back. There i realised that he had problems and we often talked about his time in the prison. We finally had 2 times sex but in the morning he pushed me again and I made the mistake and sad he should go out of my house.
This almost ruined everything. But it went on again. We behave as if we are a couple but without sex or kissing. We almost see each other every day, i know his friends, he wants to go on holiday with me and so on..We drove to his brother and slept together in the bed: the next day he sad he liked it. But a few hours later he run away again.
Before 2 weeks we have been in the disko and he startet to kiss me and it was very passionate but 3 days later he told me he did not like it. And now he always say he wants me as his sister because then he will never lose me... and now no bodycontact at all again. Yesterday I told him it can not go on like this - this push and pull hurts me and I said directly that I think that he has feelings for me. He denied this and told me that I am only his sister and wanted to stop the contact completely!
He is very open to me and i now that at the moment i am the one he trust most. He is so afraid of losing me and because of the torture he don't like it if somebody touch him. I love him and a part in me believe that he also has feelings for me but because of his fear he has to push me always away. But it's so painful and I don't want to lose myself...
How should I behave or is it better to give him time to recover? I went with him to a psychiater and he gets some medicaments now.
Thanks for your support
Nessi78
First please be patient with my English - it's not my mother tongue
Since almost a half year I am in a "relationship" with a man with ptds. He comes from Syria and was tortured in prison. We both did not know that he has ptds when we get to know each other. The relation startet good except the physical issue. He had problems with kissing because - so he sad - this leads to sex and then automatically the relation would break. A long time I did not understand what he mean.... we celebrated with his friends silvester and he startet to get a little bit more physical- he hold me, kissed me and so on. But after every little step forward he pushed me back. There i realised that he had problems and we often talked about his time in the prison. We finally had 2 times sex but in the morning he pushed me again and I made the mistake and sad he should go out of my house.
This almost ruined everything. But it went on again. We behave as if we are a couple but without sex or kissing. We almost see each other every day, i know his friends, he wants to go on holiday with me and so on..We drove to his brother and slept together in the bed: the next day he sad he liked it. But a few hours later he run away again.
Before 2 weeks we have been in the disko and he startet to kiss me and it was very passionate but 3 days later he told me he did not like it. And now he always say he wants me as his sister because then he will never lose me... and now no bodycontact at all again. Yesterday I told him it can not go on like this - this push and pull hurts me and I said directly that I think that he has feelings for me. He denied this and told me that I am only his sister and wanted to stop the contact completely!
He is very open to me and i now that at the moment i am the one he trust most. He is so afraid of losing me and because of the torture he don't like it if somebody touch him. I love him and a part in me believe that he also has feelings for me but because of his fear he has to push me always away. But it's so painful and I don't want to lose myself...
How should I behave or is it better to give him time to recover? I went with him to a psychiater and he gets some medicaments now.
Thanks for your support
Nessi78
