How Long Should We Be Members On This Forum?

[pandora]

I have learned so much here, I have gained alot of different perspectives here, I have grown here and I have seen progress in others too, making this forum a great forum to be a part of.

If PTSD is non curable and we are all going to have good and bad days, good, bad months, self-reflective and awful days is this not the point of the forum to learn from each other. Support each other when we are down, everyone heals at a different age, space and place, there really is no time limit to healing. There are different things coming out all of the time.

I am just wondering....Do other forum members feel like.....one day you will not be a part of this forum.....

Do you not think that sharing the positive stories about healing and how much this effects our daily lives is reason to keep coming back to share that with the newly diagnosed that is just as confused as when we old timers started.

How long do you plan on staying with the forum........

 

[tardis]

I am not long on this forum, but I reckon everyone's time on the forum will be a different length, as we all different. My girlfriend, for example - struggled with this very topic for a long while, as she was a longtime member here. She was consumed with guilt for not staying here once healed. However since she has become more well, she discovered she prefers to meet other PTSDers offline and in person - she is far more effective in that capacity. She has started a face to face support group, which has 6 members as of this writing. She honestly finds it easier to share in person, as she has always had difficulties with mistinterpreting the written word. For her, being off the forum permanently is a very good thing.

For myself, I also don't plan to be here indefinitely. I see the forum as a tool for my healing, but believe if I stay here too long I will stagnate and the forum will become counterproductive. I base this on my personal experience of being a longtime member of an online support group for autism. I was an active member on said forum for close to 3 years, helped myself, helped heaps of others, however near the end I found it necessary to leave. I still pop in there from time to time but it is nowhere nearly as much a part of my life as previous.

What happened? Well, when I initially joined, I knew no one else with Aspergers/Autism, so it was fantastic to meet others, make contacts, and feel I wasn't alone... even if it was only online. Later though, I began meeting other autistics in person, and I found face to face meeting is infinitely superior to online. There really is nothing like real, tangible people... and living life offline. I still struggle greatly with trust and meeting others in person, however my goal is to have most of my supports off the computer rather than on.

Do you not think that sharing the positive stories about healing and how much this effects our daily lives is reason to keep coming back to share that with the newly diagnosed that is just as confused as when we old timers started.

I believe in giving back, sharing what I have learned, but I do not believe it must be online and/or on this forum only. Fact - not everyone is cut out to give support to others in an online setting, or in life period. Some are better just living life in general. If through healing I could simply be a better friend, brother, son, boyfriend - and ultimately better husband and father perhaps - that would be enough for me. Not everyone in life I touch need have PTSD. Just my opinion.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I think it's a personal decision and as long as you are either working still at issues that bother you, or are helping others, there should be no problem. JMO!!!!!!

 

[midi]

If you are at the stage where you are listening to your gut instinct without all the external noises and guilts, you'll know if you are supposed to leave or stay.

 

[Grama-Herc]

I am so glad this thread was started. I have been feeling bad because I am still here. It's like I should be "cured" and not need the forum anymore. But that is not the case for me.

Interacting with others in like situations and hearing the stories of other sufferers is very helpful for me. I can see how far I have come AND how far I have to go.

I don't feel that staying here is a bad thing. We all have setbacks and trip and fall. To need this forum at a certain time and find that anyone who was familiar with me was gone and those left knew nothing of me would be frightening, at least for me!

I may be clinging to the forum but it is helping me cope with my day to day issues. To interact with others is important and maybe, just maybe, I will be able to help someone sometime.

 

[kers]

I have felt at times that I shouldn't still be coming here; after all, some members come, improve, and have no need to return. But putting that "should" on me is just a way to criticize myself. People need and want different things!

I like coming here because it's a place to dump a lot of the PTSD and abuse-related crap I go through in my daily life. That way, it doesn't seep in as much to my interactions with the rest of the world. For example, sometimes I come on here before work and dump out nightmares. That lets me put it away, so to speak, and I go to work and live my life like a normal person.

 

[2quilt]

There is no sand-filled hourglass that determines when I "should" be healed of PTSD, for me. I am assuming that I will have this all my life because it began at birth and was so intense during childhood that I will probably fight this PTSD all my life. I think that just as I have had friends and therapists that have come into my life and have left my life, so I expect that this forum will some day not be a daily part of my life. Everything waxes and wanes.

 

[pandora]

Thanx for your responses everyone.........

 

[tardis]

I think that just as I have had friends and therapists that have come into my life and have left my life, so I expect that this forum will some day not be a daily part of my life. Everything waxes and wanes.

Thanks for this 2quilt. You are saying exactly what I was trying to say, except far more concisely and eloquently. ;) That is my experience also, most things change, people go in and out of my life as a matter of course. Therefore I feel the forum will not be a permanent fixture for me either.

 

[Nicolette]

While I agree with a lot of what you are saying.....I think the key is what you do with your time on the forum and how you use it to benefit you...its not just about being here; its participating for your own self improvement. Participating could be just reading or it could be getting involved in conversations.

Its takes time to digest all what is here and I can appreciate how good it must be to come here and feel you are no longer alone with a debilitating illness. From there the ball is in your court with what you do with the information which is here. Wallowing in self-pity, while ok for a time, will eventually not improve your situation. If you come here digest the information, take on board what you think helps you and apply it to your life you are then well on the way to having a better quality of life. For each individual the time this process takes will vary due to a whole lot of factors.

So, in summary, I think you should be concerned about what you are doing while on the forum versus how long you have been here.

 

[pandora]

Very good point! I do feel like what I do here is helpful to both myself and others so that is a good thing!!! I was just wondering though.

 

[Cindy]

I agree with Nic, I think our time on the forum depends on our life situation, what the forum does for us and we for it. It also depends where you are in your healing journey.

I have been a member and guest to this forum for over a year now. I have learned a tremendous amount of information. I have been validated innumerable times by others postings. All which have caused me to reflect on my personal healing and evaluate to gain perspective.

I think participating and being part of the forum is up to the individual. I can see where the forum may stagnate some and keep them on a plateau. I also see where the forum offers a look into the future while on your own personal journey.

I took a 4 month break while struggling with some issues because I felt noone could relate to that part of my healing at the time. I returned to get back to the yet unfinished business. Along the way I try to encourage others and share my experiences that relate to theirs. Giving the opportunity of seeing some solutions and outcomes to consider among their choices.

Time Limit? As long as it is positive for you to participate I say stay.

If you move beyond the limits of the forum, it is always up to you what you choose to do with regards to the forum.

Cindy