Relationship Ptsd Sufferers Who Have Cheated On Their Partners, I Have Questions For You...

[twinkle30]

I have never cheated and never will. For me it has nothing to do with the other person it is more because it is against my morals and religion to cheat.

 

[Deleted member 17302]

I have never cheated and never will. For me it has nothing to do with the other person it is more beca...

That's how I feel about it. Since it is so deeply ingrained of a concept, I can't really perceive what it is like to have a different perception on the subject. It's like trying to perceive a new color.

 

[scout86]

I imagine someone has flirted with you and that is when the thing would pop in your head that prevents you from doing anything. What is that thing that pops up?

I'm no longer married, but, when I was, the "thing that popped into my head" was the fact that I'd made a promise. It came to be a promise that I regretted making, but I'd made it and I don't think it makes sense to start a new problem until you've resolved the old one.

Having said that, being in the wrong relationship can be a pretty lonely, sad place to be. And the possibility of something better can be pretty tempting. Not saying this has any bearing on YOUR situation, mind you.

 

[Devilishdee]

I know you posted anonymously, but if you would talk to me in a private chat, I really would like to...

Hi there. I've read through this thread and I may have some input for you, but would rather it be done through private chat? I have C-PTSD and I am ashamed to say I have cheated (but not done it since) Would you like to hear? I can't do it today as I'm having a real bad day after having a huge trigger last night which surrounded the relationship I speak about (my partner has since died ) Could we chat another day, if you are still looking for input??

 

[Deleted member 17302]

Hi there. I've read through this thread and I may have some input for you, but would rather it be done through priv...

Yes, please private message when you are are able.

 

[Bella_anderson22]

I cheated in almost every relationship I had. I cheated because I new that if I hurt myself in the relationship it would hurt less than if I had anyone else hurt me. My partners rarely found out and I always left them before they left me. I finally found a man that I do not intend to cheat on. He knows my past and he knows how to smooth my insecurities.

 

[Anonymous0123]

Just because YOU do not have the cheating issue and you DO have the trust and love issue, does not r...

Wow. I kinda see why your significant other cheated. I've dated lots of guys like you, out to debate a point. Hence, a lot of my ptsd!

 

[BassBuster]

PTSD sufferers who have cheated on their partners, I have some questions for you.

1. Why di...

1. It's been said by experts people who cheat do so because they are insecure and are looking for validation.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

I don't cheat. The only way I would ever practice infidelity is if someone made me so miserable, I had no choice. But..let me tell you how relationships usually work from a faithful guy's perspective. (And bear in mind, this is from my experiences, and does not pertain to all females out there, but the majority.) Ahem...many women live dual lives, meaning: they are all "I love you" "You are my soulmate" "You are the only one for me" "Nobody has ever treated me so well" blah blah blah. They come to you for a shoulder to lean on with all of their problems in life. You spend countless hours tending to their emotional needs and supporting them. You know the drill..

On the flipside, most women keep a 'safety net' of backup guys. Guys that are reeled in whenever she want extra attention, or if their is a bump in the relationship. Usually guys online or living some distance away. Guys that will tell her "You don't need him, he is treating you bad" "I am always here for you" You know..all the bs traditional lines. She keeps them on the hook by emailing them suggestive pictures showing some cleavage or maybe a little leg. The men smell potential booty, so they start circling like the buzzards that they are. They have absolutely no intentions of ever taking her past her bed. They just want to satisfy their twisted, primal urges.

And, some women simply cannot be trustful or emotionally satisfied. They will look for some way..any way..that the relationship is faulty. "I just know he's cheating on me!" "He is pushing me away!" "He isn't being there for me!" "He doesn't like my kids!" (When it is really her children's behavior that sucks)...the bs excuses are endless. They start making you out to be the bad guy--the one who is out to ruin them or hurt them.They get so paranoid that eventually, the relationship implodes. And, people like that tend to self-sabotage any decent thing in their life, because pain and dysfunction is familiar to them, and it is all they have ever known.

SO..from then on, in her mind, you will be the one who fell short. While, in truth, she is the one who sank the ship. And she damned well knows it.

 

[EveHarrington]

I don't cheat. The only way I would ever practice infidelity is if someone made me so miserabl...

I think it's a bit harsh to say that most women keep backup guys.

This is your experience.

Take into account your personal biases, preferences, and choices in women. Maybe you're picking women who possess this trait. Maybe you're surrounding yourself with a certain type of woman. (Insecure.)

It is by no means a trait of most women.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to examine your own life and why you choose the woman that you do?

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Maybe so, Eve. Maybe so... However, I have found that most people can skillfully misrepresent themselves and their personal character when you are getting to know them. No disrespect intended--I don't know what planet you are living on, but it obviously isn't this crazy blue marble. Show me ONE divorced or divorcing woman over 40 who isn't insecure. Even better...show me ONE woman who has a mental illness who isn't insecure. And, if they say they aren't..they are lying. I am insecure...I admit that, BUT, I work hard to not let that insecurity bleed into a personal relationship. Unfortunately, my partners never mastered that skill. So...considering the past few years of my life, 'harsh' doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. YOU give 175% to someone you care about, over and over and over again through the years; get your face SPAT IN repeatedly, and then see how you perceive things. On top of that, fight the ptsd, the loneliness, and the damned human drive to find companionship, knowing that you will only get screwed over again if you dare to pursue something. And, we do not 'pick' people. Companions don't grow on trees or adorn store windows for window shopping. Relationships just happen. I get approached FAR more than I approach other people. We all know that finding a partner is much different for women than for men. ALL a woman has to do is show some sexuality--push up her tits and show some leg; and men come running. And, the majority of men will f*ck anything. As for me: there isn't a female on the face of this earth that I am going to chase and beg after, or trade what shred of dignity and self respect I have left for. Betray me, and I will drop someone faster than a sticky kleenex at a snot party.

 

[Riot]

@Whispering_Truth, I know a couple of divorced people that are above average on the confident scale. Just saying.