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Might seem like an odd post, I don't know 😕 The other day, I think it might have been early hours of Monday. I was having this whole meltdown to myself about not wanting to bring anything new up with my therapist, in case she thought I was just making things up as I went along / not believe me...

I'm having a hard time with sleep at the mo...well, for a while now I guess. I wrote on here a while ago about how'd I'd wake suddenly in the night to my heart racing, that kind of settled but has started again. I've been having these bad dreams too. Last nights was where I was being chased by...

Had a session this morning and it was OK....a difficult one at times but it was OK. I keeping thinking about it and what I said to her. I'm driving myself crazy here 🙄 how am I supposed to stop something like this.

I think this is going to be a long one because I already wanted to post earlier but didn't, for some reason 🤷‍♀️ Going to be a couple of things to, so I'm not spamming 🙃 First thing I wanted to write up was how I just don't feel myself lately....I don't even know how to explain that properly...

Do you ever feel like you contradict yourself in therapy? I don't know why I'm thinking about this more now....or if I'm realising it more now, with therapy 🤷‍♀️ Why do I contradict myself? Makes me wonder what my therapist thinks of me. I tell my therapist that I'm not scared of little ones...

Can someone tell me if I'm right to feel some kind of way about this or if I'm just letting past trauma get in the way. I've been with my partner for 10 years, there have been some issues with consent previous to this, which have been spoken about and it got better. Even though I was just...

I don't know what I'm expecting from posting. I don't think he did anything wrong, this is all me 🙄 I'm away with the little ones. Little ones dad, mum and his stepdad are here....Him, his mum and step dad in one apartment and me and the little ones in another apartment. We all went for a drink...

Anyone else suck at this? 🙈 This is what my therapist is telling me that I need to work on, before getting into any trauma work because she doesn't think I'm ready for it. I don't even know where to start with any of it 🤷‍♀️ What does self compassion mean to you?

Music is such a big thing for me. Does anyone else listen to Skydxddy? I love her. She has her own music genre called "traumacore" She is a survivor that makes songs for survivors . She has a new song out today called Heavy and one of the lines "There's danger in expressing and safety in...

I've just come put of a session and I honestly feel so annoyed at myself 😠 Why is it so f*cking hard?! We spoke about the panic situation at my appt the other day and that was fine....but I mentioned to her about this memory thing, she said she would lean towards ot being true....given my...

I had a something come up, some that came around like a bad dream type thing. I don't know if it's real or not 🤷‍♀️ How do I know if it's real? I would put it down to what's been going on/talking about little ones dad but it wasn't about him. It was about someone else. The memory of this person...

I had an appt today and it was to do with ongoing back pain....my friend was supposed to come with me but she couldn't make it. So I had to go on my own and once I got there, I just went in to panic mode. My heart was racing, I was shaking, had to work to control my breathing and just wanted to...

I hate coming out of a session and that feeling of being unsure how it actually went 🙄 We started off about my friend, which was fine and then she went into the list I sent her about reasons it's difficult to talk and it just got difficult. She was trying to reassure that she believes me and how...

This is kind of what I've come up with for my therapist on the reasons it's hard to talk. When it comes to talking about stuff, there isn't just one thing that makes it difficult. There is so much more to it. Pretty obvious one at the top would be that I'm not going to be believed. Just...

My task from therapy this week was to think about and wrote down why it's hard for me to talk about things/why I get to a certain point and then stop....I've done this but I wondered if some of you guys could share too? Only if you're comfortable, obviously. I will post mine too, after couple...

I've just ordered myself the cutest little "wellbeing journal" it looks really good. I've done bits of journaling before but didn't stick with it. I'm hoping if I can get back to journaling, it will go some way to helping me be more open with my therapist. She made a comment about how I was...

I feel like I completely exposed myself. Went out on Friday night and admittedly, I drank way too much. Got in to an argument with my friends boyfriend because he was upsetting her (I didn't just involve myself, my friend asked me to talk to him)...telling her to leave things in the...

I've been with my partner for almost 10 years, we have 3 children together (5,7 and 8) We get on pretty well, for the majority but there are some issues. March 2022 he r*ped me, May 2022 sexual assault/attempted r*pe and July 2023 he r*ped me (this happens after drinking/c*c*ine use) and other...

I'm feeling more anxious lately but I'm not even sure what's going on? I initially thought it was because J came up in therapy, so I've asked that we don't talk about him for now, so last 2 weeks have been about other, less intense stuff but that anxious feeling is still there. Probably not...

I don't really know where to go with therapy at the mo. Had a good session on Tues, last few sessions have been about J and she really helped me get some bits out....I still have a lot wrote down, that I'm going to send her....partly because I want to be able to delete it from my phone and...

OK, so I've wrote about my ex before but I missed a part out. I don't know why....maybe because I know I was in the wrong too and then it just went on from that to thinking if I hadn't done it then he wouldn't have either? We were only together 7/8 months, if that and it started OK....the thing...

Had session this morning and it went OK. We went through procedures around me going more into CSA and what would require safeguarding referral and I'm not so worried about that side of it anymore but I did mention how I felt the fact that me not wanting anyone else to know about any of it makes...

Not necessarily online but I have my sessions via phone and it works OK....have a few issues but those aren't to do with her. I think it works better for me, than face to face.

She said she is going to block him. They met at a family party in March. I'm going to have to go, don't think there is a way out of it now...as my Little ones think I'm going now too 🙄 I don't know what usually helps....probably just being by myself with my music up loud but I can't do that at...

So this is what has come up recently but I don't know how much of this I can bring up with therapist, for a few reasons. My brothers were older than me but one was only 1 year older and the other was 6 years older....Kinda feel like it might not be taken as seriously, because of ages and...