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“Good” nightmares about abuser?

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Coolcat889

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Hi guys, I’m new to this site. I’m 21 years old, female. Last night I had a really weird dream about my dad, also my abuser. Long story short, he was pretending to be a demon and made me go along with it. He was telling other people in my dream that I was his WIFE. We acted like a couple..the worst thing was is I went along with it. I woke up feeling uncomfortable and gross. Even though he sexually abused me for years why did I have such a dream? What does it mean?
 
If something didn’t happen in real life? I’ll dream about it.

What IF…

I could fly?
I was a man?
These people lived? (Well? Badly?)
Those people died? (Well? Badly?)
These people acted this way?
I acted that way?
Puddles were doors to other places?
I couldn’t fly, but could JUMP really high?
Falling didn’t hurt?
Cupcakes were made of fire?
If everyone I ever loved, I hated; and my enemies were beloved?

Extremes to middling to the subtlest of changes. Thousands upon thousands of What IFs.

If it DID happen in real life? It will be a component in my What IF dreams.

***

WHAT IF dreams can be nightmares, or amazing, or amazing nightmares, or a zillion kinds of WTFO. They’re blends of fiction and reality, so there’s no limit to the possible explorations. All kinds of possible changes can be made. What happened, how it happened, who was there, what personality they have, what I think/feel about any of it.

My nightmares fall into 3 categories
- Total reality (flashback style)
- Blend of fiction and reality (too much nightmare fuel)
- Total fiction (FFS. As if enough bad things don’t happen IRL)

WHAT IF nightmares fall into the second group.
 
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Hi guys, I’m new to this site. I’m 21 years old, female. Last night I had a really weird dream about my dad, also my abuser. Long story short, he was pretending to be a demon and made me go along with it. He was telling other people in my dream that I was his WIFE. We acted like a couple..the worst thing was is I went along with it. I woke up feeling uncomfortable and gross. Even though he sexually abused me for years why did I have such a dream? What does it mean?
Hey.
I'm happy I found this post. I was assaulted for years by my "friend" and even now, after all these years, I keep having good dreams about him. I always wake up feeling disgusted and confused. Happy to know I'm not the only one.
 
I understand. It sounds familiar, like I dreamt that too before once or twice over the years, in some similar variety of that dream. I remember a similar sentiment, not having hate feelings and then telling myself I needed to do so when I woke up, or something.

I had one a couple weeks ago. Old boyfriends. They morphed into each other in the dream.

I think it’s because I want to start dating again… and my sub-conscience is trying to work-out what that would look like for me. Interesting. I hadn’t thought beyond it until now, when you said that… but I guess it’s time for me to put conscious thought into projecting what I see a healthy dating relationship as.
 
Hey.
I'm happy I found this post. I was assaulted for years by my "friend" and even now, after all these years, I keep having good dreams about him. I always wake up feeling disgusted and confused. Happy to know I'm not the only one.
This post + your comment made me feel less alone aswell. We’re going to get through this❤️
 
I didn’t understand that my dad sexually abused me as a baby until I was 39, four years ago. I went no contact. The first dreams I had about him were terrifying. Then over time they became less terrifying until they would be like neutral and I had no awareness in the dream the csa.

I talked to my T about it and she said it’s part of the process of integrating. The black and white thinking, aka splitting, is where we think someone is all bad or all good, but that’s not sustainable for a stable mind. The internal drive is to be integrated and flexible, so like Friday said, the mind asks “what if,” to make room for those possibilities.
 
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